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Best of September 2018 23 new items · Memory by Prabha Thomas

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People often assume that family disputes must be settled in court by a judge. The reality is that family disputes should be settled before they reach the courtroom. Mediation is a process where a neutral third party with no decision making power –the mediator – helps people to negotiate a settlement to their dispute. One of the most important differences between mediation and the court process (which is called litigation) is that mediation allows people to reach agreements that meet everyone’s interests. The court process, on the other hand, focuses on opposing legal rights and obligations of the parties. In litigation, one person wins and the other person loses, where as mediation will creates a win-win situation.

Pros & Cons of Love Marriage

When it comes to love marriage, the two people tie the nuptial knot only after falling in love with each other and probably, after knowing each other for a long time. They get ample time to explore both the good and the bad things about each other, well before marriage. This helps them to develop a good comfort level after marriage, very effortlessly.

It is said that compromise is a factor that decides whether the marriage would work out or not. In case of love marriage, people might expect more from their partner, largely because they have fallen in love before marriage. This leads to lesser compromises, as the person expects more from his/her partner.

The couples who have solemnized love marriage would have to tackle all their crises on their own, because they might have been separated from their family. Resentment drives the parents and the relatives to remain dormant in case the married couple wants any financial or moral support - a common sight seen in love marriages in India.

Proverbs 21:15

When justice is done, it is a joy to the righteous but terror to evildoers.

Family fights hurt not only the parties involved, but other members of the family, who may feel that they have to take sides. However, there steps one could take in order to work constructively together to heal a family feud.

Make the decision to resolve
See the other's point of view
Force a connection
keep the contact

Make the decision

Healing a family fight requires a commitment from you. This is especially true if you haven't changed your position regarding issue, which caused the argument to start with, but simply want your family back

See the other's point of view

For as long as you believe that you are absolutely right and the other party is totally wrong, there is no possibility that the family fight can be resolved. It's very important that you listen to the other party properly, and that you try to see the others' point of view.

Force a connection

Family fights thrive from lack of communication. For as long as both parties nurse their grievances, and do not communicate (arguments are not communication), the situation will remain as is.

Keep contact with family members the other party is close to: you should maintain contact with the rest of your family members. This will provide a roundabout way for you to keep abreast of how the other party is doing. You should, however, refrain from soliciting other people's support to your cause.

Gandhiji said: "I had learnt the true practice of law. I had learnt to find out the better side of human nature, and to enter men's hearts. I realized that the true function of a lawyer was to unite parties given as under. The lesson was so indelibly burnt unto me that the large part of my time,during the twenty years of my practice as a lawyer, was occupied in bringing about private compromises of hundreds of cases. I lost nothing, thereby not even money, certainly not my
soul."

We have a bigger task at hand, a task to guide the vehicle we ride on - Our World. Our actions act as a steering wheel, so before you do something; just see where would it drive the world . . .

When you and the other party can’t resolve things on your own, a mediator, a neutral facilitator, can help you understand what’s at stake, safely talk with each other, find common ground, and resolve the issues.

FDR practitioners are impartial and will not take sides. They can help you to explore family issues in an objective and positive way. Unlike counselling, FDR does not focus on the emotional side of relationships. It concentrates on resolving specific disputes.

Family dispute resolution (FDR) is a practical, less stressful and inexpensive way for separating families to sort out these arrangements with help from a FDR practitioner who can help you discuss issues, look at options and work out how best to reach agreement.