I am an Idiot, Thats why I am an Engineer

The Big Bang Theory: Rock Paper Scissor Lizard Spock!

Price: Rs. 349

I was arrested this morning for playing a trick at work.

The police have informed me that, despite it being April Fool's Day, it's still r**e.

My friend got mad at me playing Scrabble.
"Spondulak" she said, "How can that be a word?"
"Of course it is!" I said.
"I've never heard of it, I bet you can't use it in a sentence" she said.
"Sure I can" I told her, "Here goes"
"I don't know what Spondulak means."
Done.

Statistically speaking... 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang r**e.

I was wondering the other day what our parents must have done for entertainment before television was popular and affordable. I asked my 14 brothers and sisters if they had any ideas, but none of them could suggest an answer either...

My daughter said, "Dad, can my new boyfriend come for
tea?"
I said, "That depends sweetheart, what's his name?"
"Corey" She replied.
"Corey what?" I asked.
She said, "Corey Ossity."
I said, "I suppose so, but don't
let him near the cat."

I was walking down this street and this really sexy woman tells
me, 'Oh my god. You are so hot. I want you to f**k me right now!'
It's true. You can ask Brad Pitt, he was right behind me.

I was walking behind a lady and she started to speed up so I did
too. She then started running so I ran too. She then started
screaming so I screamed too...I never did see what we were
running from...

My girlfriend was furious with me the other day.
I put a stick in a non-stick pan.

S**T HAPPENS !!