Rosemary the Coach & Trainer

"How's the new job going? I asked. "I left already and got another one". the acquittance responded. it had only been six months since she got the earlier job. "What happened?" I asked. "Within three months, I knew that was not the place for me, nothing looked like what they had said." She said

➡️ Employees judge you as hard as you judge them during probation; if you are not actively managing their experience they are quietly making their exit plan.

➡️ Honesty during recruitment is cheaper than replacing a disgruntled staff; the gap between what was promised and the reality of the role is visible within the first 90 days.

➡️ The 90 day evaluation is too late; structured 30-60-90 day open feedback loop is key.

➡️ New staff onboarding is culture not paperwork; the first shock is rarely the responsibilities, it's the environment; confusing, isolating, hostile feeling unsafe and worse if one is left to swim or sink.

🔷 Silence from a new hire is not always a sign of smooth sailing often it's a sign of them giving up.

"How did you get to work here? I asked.. I was training in an organization located away from the city or a major town. The kind of remote area where an employer would struggle to get top talent.

The room was however filled with knowledgeable, commited, happy staff. After the training, I walked over to the newest manager and asked "How did you get to work here." "A former school mate bought me into it. He kept talking about how supportive the CEO is and how much I would apply my skills as I also learn to lead and mentor others. I have realized most people came here planning to stay for one or two years but they are almost clocking ten years" He said

"I hope you returned the favor to your former employer," I said on a light note "Never! My boss was highly intelligent but doesn't know how to communicate, we were consistently humiliated Infront of staff and customers. I wouldn't refer anyone to work there despite the pay" He said

➡️ Culture is the foundation for your staff retention.

➡️ Staff are your powerful recruiters.

➡️ Psychological safety and growth is the retention strategy for top talent.

➡️ Leadership behavior dictates the entire lifecycle of talent.

🔷 Sometimes people don't leave bad jobs or poor pay they leave bad leaders: and sometimes people don't stay for good jobs or pay they stay because of good Leadership.

"I am struggling to give instructions to those who were my friends and peers before I got promoted and holding them accountable as the teamleader" said a training participant.

The line between being a friend (mutual liking) and being friendly (warm and approachable) is one of the trickiest balancing acts a manager faces.

Let's break it down by some management roles;

1. Directing & Delegating Tasks

The Friend: Struggles to hold people accountable because they fear damaging the personal relationship.

The Friendly Manager: Gives clear, firm directions but does so with kindness and respect.

2. Monitoring & Performance Evaluation

The Friend: Prone to the halo effect or unconscious bias by giving a pass to poor performance.

The Friendly Manager: Uses objective data, clear metrics, fair and consistent standards for everyone; focuses on the behavior rather than the person.

3. Conflict Resolution

The Friend: Struggle to remain impartial, or conversely, overcompensate by being unfairly harsh on their friend to prove they aren't biased.

The Friendly Manager: Listens to all sides with an open mind; uses a structured approach to resolve the issue based on company policy and values.

4. Staff Development & Coaching

The Friend: Tends to protect the employee from discomfort. Avoids pushing them into challenging roles or skip delivering the hard truths.

The Friendly Manager: Acts as a mentor. They are willing to have uncomfortable coaching conversations.

➡️ You can be a deeply empathetic, warm, and supportive leader without needing to be your team's peer or social confidant.

🔷 Being friendly builds a healthy culture; being a friend often compromises it.

"You want to resign and leave me with a moody person" my boss exclaimed. I had walked into his office for a normal weekly check in. Incidentally, I had attended an interview at a competitor's office the previous day. Unknown to me one of the panelists was a friend to my boss.

"Am told you want to leave" my boss said. Seeing the reaction on my face, my boss continued. "My long time friend told me she interviewed you yesterday." At this point he got my attention. I pulled a seat and sat. This was a good time to analyze my role and put my argument to leave on the table.

My boss had done a lot to see me grow but I was looking for something more. I also had a colleague who was experienced enough and more qualified to fit into my shoes. I mentioned my colleague's name as a suitable successor and it's at this point that my boss exclaimed, "You want to leave me with a moody person!"

🔷 Your brand travels faster than your work.

➡️ Office gossip spreads faster than your accomplishments.

🔷 A single mistake can erase a year of success.

➡️ Your reputation carries as much weight as your output.

🔷 How people describe you when you are not in the room matters.

➡️ Sometimes relationships beat being right.

"There are no perfect people" my boss said. We had just finished a second round of interviews. This was my first experience with interviews as a supervisor. I bumped into my boss as I was walking out of the boardroom. The look on my face said it all; I was tired and frustrated for not getting the perfect candidate.

As I sat and listened to my boss, it all started to make sense. "If you are heading for a third round of interviews without getting a suitable candidate for an entry level role, maybe the candidates are not the problem. You don't get perfect candidates you take a chance on the best" My boss continued "I''ve hired great people that am proud of and I have also hired others that I regretted. You do your part but there are no guarantees."

🔷 Talent management doesn't go wrong it starts wrong; Your advertisement/referral platform, selection criteria, interview process....

🔷Be clear on your must haves; core capabilities, attitude and teachability .. and nice to have.

🔷 Every hire is a calculated risk; make a decision based on available evidence, avoid decision paralysis.

🔷 There are no perfet or ideal candidates but you can get a good fit or high potential candidate.

➡️ Leadership is not about finding perfect pieces into the puzzle, it's taking a chance on the right people and guiding and coaching them to excellence.

"You are explaining it with so much ease, why are you even charging us" asked one of the directors though on a light banter. "Yeah, for once strategy formulation feels easy and practical" the second one reiterated.

"It has taken me a decade to get here." I said.

A decade ago I was stuck in my hotel room. We were attending an industry event in a coastal town. My friends would knock my door every evening as they were heading for a night out. I would be on my laptop putting together a strategy plan for my division. After 4 nights, which were preceded by weeks of information gathering, I felt it was ready.

The following week I was in a different town by the lake. This time, it was for the company strategy retreat. I was the acting HOD. I stood there with the confidence of someone who had prepared thoroughly. It did not take long before I started questioning my preparation. After every slide, I was hit with questions from the directors. They critiqued my every thought. Then at the end, the CEO concluded with "You have the whole night to rethink then convince us tomorrow." It took another two nights of reworking it before I got the approval.

One year later I got a new job, my new boss said "your understanding of strategy formulation was impressive."

🔷You need to work hard, before you work smart; Play the long game.

➡️ Mastery is the art of making the complex simple.

➡️ Preparation is the price of admission

➡️ Criticism and feedback is a catalyst not a roadblock.

🔷 Don't apologize for the value that you provide; it's not about the hour you take to explain it; it's the decade it took to learn how to explain it in one hour.

"Your performance is good, but I have a problem with your dressing" My boss said as we concluded the appraisal meeting. I was not a suit person, I had always been the smart casual kind of person. However, that's the first time someone had had a problem with my dressing. I was puzzled. Reading my face my boss said, "your dresses need to be longer."

I called HR later and asked for the dress code. There was none in writing.
A few weeks later I got a new boss. "I saw a note on your review on your dressing but I don't agree with it. Your dressing is good and appropriate." Said the new boss.

The contradiction left me wondering what exactly was the issue.

✅ Culture is a collection of behaviors; to create and enforce a culture, behaviors have to be clearly defined.

Do not just give a word as a value, define it into specific behaviors at company level and business unit level..

Example:

➡️Team work - actively helps colleagues when they need help, gives and receives feedback with the aim of improvement, freely shares knowledge and expertise without hoarding information, works well with people in other departments.

➡️ Professionalism - Treats colleagues, clients and all stakeholders with respect and dignity, consistently delivers highest quality of work, adheres to company specific dress and behavior standards.

✅If behaviors are well defined, they are easy to enforce, monitor and evaluate.

✅ If behaviors are not clearly defined, it leads to ambiguity and subjectivity.

✅ Subjectivity leads to blame, denial and a feeling of witch-hunting.

🔷 Feedback tells you more about the person who is giving it as much as the one receiving it.

🔷 Feedback on tasks and behaviors should be prompt and continuous not a surprise during appraisal.

"I feel overwhelmed" Said a new manager. " I have too many deliverables, the expectations are high, one of the best staff just rendered a resignation, am not sure if I can manage the staff who are my peers..."

As a first time manager you are likely to feel like a rookie. This is a shift from delivering as an individual to delivering through the team. So;

🔷Set clear expectations; Discuss goals and priorities.

🔷Delegate with trust; fight the urge to do it all.

🔷Provide continuous feedback; daily, weekly.

🔷Develop people; you are now a mentor.

Remember to;

1. Establish boundaries - Be clear that your role has changed. You can be friendly but you don't have to be friends.

- Building respect is more critical than being liked.

- You can't please everyone , trying to will dilute your impact.

2. You won't always have the best ideas so listen when the team does.

3. Mistakes are inevitable, own them dont avoid them.

4. Not everyone will grow with you, it's okay to let go.

🔷 As a leader you'll trade comfort for long-term success and make decisions others avoid.

Is proactivity celebrated or punished in your workplace?

➡️ Company 1
I walked into the office around midmorning. I had come from a radio interview. I had raised my hand to participating in a radio activation for some new company products. I placed my bag on the desk, pulled my chair and before I could sit the desk phone rang. It was the CEO calling. My mind played a number of scenarios on what could have gone wrong. "Good morning Rosemary, I just wanted to tell you Thank you for stepping up to represent the company, you have done well."
The message was right there: Here initiative is celebrated and rewarded.

➡️ Company 2
I walked into my bosses office,"I see you had a conversation with the general manager of XYZ" My boss asked "Yes, we had a conversation and I responded to the Email you were copied on" I responded.
"What's your job title?" I looked at my boss in confusion "and what's her title" My boss continued "Am HOD, she's GM" I responded. "So why did you respond?"
It took me a while to get the message: Initiative here is seen as a threat.

🔷 Know your organization and leadership context;

✅ If initiative is expected and you are not showing it- you are considered too complacent.

✅ If initiative is not expected and you are showing it- you are seen as a threat.

✅ If you are naturally proactive but the organization doesn't expect it - You'll be bored and frustrated.

✅ If initiative is expected and rewarded and you are proactive - you'll enjoy working and you'll grow.