Stori za jaba na kitui badest

With Kitui Badest – I just made it onto their weekly engagement list by being one of their top engagers!

*Houses 🛖🏠 are tough, guys. I found myself a steady babe 🥰 and thought, “Let me settle down and marry her.” Then we had our little baby 👶🏻. Since money 💰 was tight, my wife said she’d look for a job so we could support each other 👏🏻.*

*Not long after, she told me she got a job at a restaurant 🍜🍲. Things started looking up, so we moved out of my parents' place and got our own lodgings since our income was now combining.*

*The problem came when I tried to hammer a nail to hang a picture 📮🖼️ frame… I struggled hard because the wall 🏠 was super tough.*

*That’s when I realized — *houses really ARE tough* 😅. But you just want stories, huh? 👀👂👂 Don’t mind me, I’m just
Baby😂 with the jokes — no real issues here 😂😂🙌🏿.*

Read the Bible — it’s got all the real stories. But drop me my emoji if I made you laugh! 😂😂💪🏼❤️🔥
*FOLLOW 🎉, REACT 🔥 & SHARE ❤️📝*

𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝘂𝗿𝘃𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝗡𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗼𝗯𝗶 ✊.
𝗥𝘂𝗹𝗲 𝗡𝗼.1

Ukikatiwa Mtura, mwambie aonje moja. Akisema ameshiba ama ako sawa, jua ni paka💔😂.

𝗥𝘂𝗹𝗲 𝗻𝗼.2

Usiwahi salimia mtu kwa mkono🙅‍♀️. Hallo! Hallo! Na mdomo. In fact, hio ndio kazi ya earphones. Kufanya usiskie salamu ukiwa town😏.

𝗥𝘂𝗹𝗲 𝗻𝗼. 3

Usiwahi kubali kuombewa town. Wewe utageuka wa kuomba watu fare bila kujua. Utapoteza time na kila kitu uko nacho🤔.

𝗥𝘂𝗹𝗲 𝗻𝗼. 4

Mtu akisema amepotea town😳, mwambie atumie google maps ama aongee na Soja. Ukimwonyesha njia, wewe utapotea njia. Hapa sitaeleza sana😒.

𝗥𝘂𝗹𝗲 𝗻𝗼. 6

Ukiwa Globe ama OTC, usitumie simu dirisha ikiwa wazi. Utauziwa hio simu ukifika town/CBD😂.

𝗥𝘂𝗹𝗲 𝗻𝗼. 7

Ukiitwa brathe town ama siste, jua it's about to go down. Unataka kuuziwa kitu wameiba ama unataka kuibiwa kitu utauziwa. Run!🏃🏃‍♀️

𝗥𝘂𝗹𝗲 . 8

Hapa sasa ndio kila mtu anafaa kuwa attentive. Ukiskia wanasema kiatu mia... Skiza vizuri hio mia wanasema mara ngapi? Ukiskia 'kiatu mia' jua hio ni 100. Ukiskia "kiatu mia, mia pekee" hio ni 200. Ukiskia " kiatu mia,mia,mia" hio ni 300. Akili mtu wangu💔😂.

𝗥𝘂𝗹𝗲 𝗻𝗼. 9

Ukitaka kucross njia Nairobi, hata ikiwa one way, angalia both ways. Wasee wa nduthi huwa ni k**a wako na shule yao ya driving special. Utadhani njia iko clear kumbe Njoro wa Nduthi amekuja na speed. Usishangae ukiona watu wanaangalia both sides kwa one way road. 😀

𝗥𝘂𝗹𝗲 𝗻𝗼. 10

The best is saved for last. Hii ndio Mama yao😊. It's a whole topic on Introduction to How to survive in Nairobi. TREAT EVERYONE AS A SUSPECT. Ndio maana inaitwa NAIROBBERY💔😂. Nikiexplain nitaharibu. Hapa inahitaji tu Character Development ndio uelewe. 😂

𝗥𝘂𝗹𝗲 𝗻𝗼. 11
𝗡𝗮 𝘄𝗲𝘄𝗲 𝘂𝘄𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗲 𝘂𝗰𝗵𝗼𝘆𝗼, 𝗺𝗯𝗼𝗻𝗮 𝘂𝗸𝗮𝘁𝗮𝗲 𝗸𝘂𝗻𝗶𝗳𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄? 𝗗𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗿𝗼𝗺𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗰 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀 🥰?

Kudate dame wa Mombasa ni tabu kweli,, unamwambia good night beb anakujibu "haina noma mjomba" 😂💀

White people: Don't cry, it's going to be alright. Here drink some water.

Kenyans: Mtu asimuongeleshe, achana na yeye kabisaaa! Acha alie ndo hio kitu imtoke

😂😂😂