Benjamin Zulu Global

The modern woman is not hard to lead. She is hard to mislead. She is not hard to manage. She is hard to manipulate.

The modern woman has options and choice. She may or may not get married. She may choose a marriage that supports her growth rather than suppresses it.

The modern woman enters daring to negotiate for love and partnership, not survival.

That is why the men who wanted it easy are nervous. This woman is not desperate for rescue and cannot be subjected to domination.

You cannot confuse her. You must convince her.

But the sweet part for men is this: it is only this type of woman who can choose you and be deeply loyal because she chose you out of love rather than pressure and fear.

This modern shift favors men because they can quickly tell who wants the journey of marriage. Long ago we had to guess and wait to see how the woman behaves when she gets financially comfortable long after you have already married her.

Now you can see genuine interest and commitment before any commitment.

There has never been a better time to form a genuine and lasting marriage than now.

(© Benjamin Zulu Global)

Why are people getting back with exes anyway 😏

Some time in the 1990s, Virgin Atlantic experienced an irritating problem. Customers were stealing salt shakers from the first class cabin. Replacing them constantly was costing the airline and meetings were held over the issue.

Some executives suggested using cheap, plastic ones. Others thought of strictly warning the customers or attaching anti theft alarms.

But the CEO, Richard Branson, had a different idea. Why stop the stealing? Just turn it into something beneficial.

Apparently, the airline salt shakers were shaped like toy aircraft, something people would not buy elsewhere.

So he had them engraved at the bottom, “Stolen from Virgin Atlantic.”

The stealing continued, but now whenever friends and family saw it at the customer’s dining table they would remark that the person was guilty not only of stealing the shaker but also of flying Virgin Atlantic first class.

That is cheap marketing among the right people who were likely to also fly first class.

It is that kind of thinking that makes people like Richard Branson billionaires. They see opportunity in the midst of crisis.

If there is one skill that will bring you fortune, it is this: opportunistic thinking.

Anger is easy. Getting upset is natural. When things are not going well, the majority of people get worked up. But if you try to search for a way to turn the situation to your advantage, you will join the ranks of billionaires and winners in life.

One man spent years trying and failing to produce rubber for vehicle tyres that could remain stable in both heat and cold, an almost impossible quest. Then one day he accidentally dropped a mixture of rubber and sulfur onto a hot stove.

That accident was the answer. The man was Charles Goodyear and that is how he revolutionized transportation with vulcanized rubber.

Remain curious even during mistakes. Do not let anger take over your thinking. Remember the larger goal and maintain a relentless positivity.

Many times the disappointment is actually the appointment, but you will not see it in a fit of rage or temper tantrum.

(© Benjamin Zulu Global)

'Do you think I'm being too strict?' Some of you women will be used by men until you die. Why would you even angage a man talking this kind of nonsense?
Remember this: always discuss marriage, the end goal. That way the focus is evaluating each other's readiness to start family.
Stop discussing relationship. That's how you get used and wasted by one man at a time until you're 52.

(©️ Benjamin Zulu Global)

Be honest but not brutal. Truth without compassion is cruelty.

Be kind but not naive. Do not let people take advantage of your good nature.

Be confident but not arrogant. Know your game but do not parade it for show off.

Be patient but know your limits. Waiting without purpose is just procrastination.

Humility is strength under control. If you cannot stand up for yourself you are not humble. You are fearful.

In your desire to be liked do not forget to be respected. And respect often comes from saying no.

Forgive those who hurt you but do not forget what they taught you.

Always grow through what you go through. Life is an exercise in becoming.

Everything we gather we will eventually leave behind. But everything we become we will carry with us.

What matters most is not what you get but what you become in getting it. If you get good results by cheating, you are worse for it.

If you lie to get ahead, you are ahead but you have lost internally and eternally.

You are not here to get things primarily but to grow into someone.

Always think more about what you are becoming than what you are getting.

(© Benjamin Zulu Global)

Good evening...am 24 not yet married but I have a son
My partner is 32...
Okay I met him when I was 20 on 2023 Nov
We started dating, at first things looked real, he looked intentional. Things went so fast on 2024 March I got pregnant, when I told him about it , he looked so happy and comfortable .so I wasn't stressed. The same 2024 ...on April he lost his dad... by then I was just one month pregnant staying at my aunts place .... he went home kushughulika na matanga, after three weeks I noticed , he changed, no calls no texts , saa zingine you call Hapick calls. So after amemalizana na matanga, he came back to Nairobi and kumbe alikuwa huku and ananidanganya ako kwao bado hajarudi. So nikaamua kuenda kwake just to see if ako around, and nikafika nikapata another lady in the house, another girlfriend, I was so bitter and he couldn't look me on the face, he said he ajui nini imemfanya hivo . He said ever since the passing of his dad vitu hazijakuwa sawa. I forgave him juu sasa that time I was pregnant juu ningeenda wapi na mimba. I gave birth... he did what a responsible could do. But sasa shida ni hataki kusettle... whenever I introduce the topic ataenda tu silent...am here wondering if I should just walk away... he don't talk about the future, all he does say ni ningoje ajipange... it's two years nikingoja tu... am just stuck aki...how did I end up in such a situation...should I walk away or exercise a little patience.... he is responsible but that alone it's not working for me...
Everything just changed ...after the passing of his dad... caught him cheating...I did forgave him honestly, but of late we had issues again, about a secret kid added in his insurance, he denied the baby it's not his... but now the main problem is , he don't want to talk about the future, get to know his family, he lies about his whereabouts, our son soon he's turning two ... amemuona twice since birth. And now I feel like am really forcing myself on him. Can't imagine the pain of raising my son with no man to father him...

https://youtube.com/live/_bilN83QtxI?feature=share

MODERN WOMEN ARE NOT HARD TO LOVE. THEY ARE HARD TO LEAD WITHOUT STRUCTURE Why Leadership Has Become a Crisis in Relationships

If you are blocking your partner on everything while remaining in a relationship with them, you are toxic.

By the time you shut down communication with a person you should also have left their life so they can move on and find other people.

But if you are stopping all association while still occupying the place of their partner and starving them of all their needs, you are the definition of madness.

Maturity requires that you make up your mind. Are you staying or leaving? If you are staying, play the part. If you are leaving, then leave.

But do not stay and act like you are not there at the same time. This is not about how you have been hurt.

What if something happened and they needed help from their spouse and you have shut them out?

Have you not heard how people blocked their partners only to hear news of their disaster or to hear reports of their demise?

Take a side and be clear.

Lastly, about those women who like packing and leaving whenever they are upset, you should never take her back after the second incident. It does not matter who was wrong. That pattern is unhealthy and destructive.

This is another form of shutting down things while still remaining in your life.

In marriage we stay. You should only leave when you are truly done.

Do not attend the cycling reconciliation meetings. Take her decision seriously and detach from her in truth.

Does it mean one can't step back to cool off when upset? Not at all. You surely can. But you don't block communication while doing that. You still need to be reachable in case of emergency and also for logistics because some things must go on even when you're upset. Children must be picked from school, for example, and groceries must be brought home.

Remember in life you do not get what you want. You get what you tolerate.

So if you do not want madness, stop tolerating it.

(© Benjamin Zulu Global)