Victor Rojo

Pass master💥🔥

😂🤣THINGS THAT DEFINE AFRICANS😂😂😂

1. Urinating behind the latrine🚽💦

2. Wife sleeping next to the wall🛌😴

3. Keeping brooms behind the door😂

4. When you get rich, people say you did rituals.🐍😁

5. When you get old, you're a witch😒💔

6. When you take a bath , they will ask if you are going somewhere.🤨

7. Keeping some plates, cups and spoons aside specifically for visitors.😏🤔

8. Counting pieces of meat.🍖🍛

9. No natural death in Africa.... your enemy is always the cause.🥺😭

10. Counting money after withdrawing from ATM.😅😜

11. Marrying a beautiful woman is associated with marrying a prostitute.😟🥵

12. There are some special parts of the chicken meat that are always reserved for the husband (eg. Gizzard)🥶🤬

13. Removing shoes when walking in the mud.🤥😇

14. Buying new clothes when it is Christmas.🤧🥳

15. When one is given a microphone, they first blow air into it or tap it with a finger, to test it if it is working, (even when the person passing it on was using the same mic.)🥱🎤

16. Sweeping the whole compound when expecting visitors.😂

17. Looking left and right when crossing a one way street.😁

18: Keeping an empty plastic water bottle after drinking, for future use.🤥

19: Reserving a special chair for the Husband 😒💔

20: Feeling proud when sitting next to a white person in a bus.🤓😍

Im a proud African✊
😄😄

WEDDING IN 🌹🌷💐. Number of invited guests 100, wenye wako church 90👌 number of guests at the reception 90 👌 number of gifts 90, watu wako dinning tent 54👌 lost and found items 1earpiece☺️ na wedding inaisha ivo 😊 🤣🤣 😂 Invited guests 60 ,no. guests at the reception 3🤔, watu wenye wako church ni 556😂, wenye wako cafeteria tent adults ni 1896, 🤔watoto 1127😎 78 madmen and 49 dogs🙄, gifts ni 17 pekee halfu envelopes ni moja tu (iko na 50bob na advise kiasi kwa couple)🤨, waaaa sasa kwa missing 😝items 57 smartphones📱 ,🙄 3 microphones 🎤 44 wallets na purses 71 🥺 💔zimepotea, 17 girlfriends wako missing 🤷‍♂️ bridegroom's hired Mercedes Benz 🚘 inflated😳🤣 , 58 plastic chairs🪑 hazionekani 🙄 zingne 12 ziko broken, halfu 11 hot pots ziko missing 🤔, 3 dogs🐕 stoned to death😎😖, 2 digital cameras missing, watoto 6 kidnapped🤷‍♂️ vioo 16 za church broken 🙄 and 9 men arrested for drug smuggling 😂. Uku n.

A day well spent ☀️

Mtu wa movieshop heri umnyanganye licence kuliko akuambie penye ye hudownload movies 😂😂

*A man and a woman were traveling in a train*

Woman: Anytime you smile, I feel like inviting you to my place😋
Man: Awwwn....! Are you single?
Woman: No, I'm a Dentist...😂💔

This is why women live longer than men

​A WOMAN'S PHONE​ INBOX

MOSE: i love you gal.
MPESA: You have received 3,500 from
Martin Juma. Your balance is
Ksh11,550
ALEX: i miss you baby gal
TONNY: are you free i take you for
dinner today?
SAFARICOM: you have received
300shs airtime.
OMOSH: I want to take you to Diani
this weekend.
MPESA: you have received 5,100 from
ALEX KENGA. Your balance is 16,650.
FREDDY: I want to buy you pizza
today, and btw will you be my
valentine?

​A MAN'S PHONE INBOX

CATE: pliz nisambazie credo
SAFARICOM: Dear Customer you have
insufficient funds. Please top up to continue.
ANITA: woishe nibuyie lunch.
HOUSE AGENT: Nimekupa mpaka
kesho, ulipe nyumba ama niweke kufuli.
SAFARICOM: You will not be able to access Okoa Jahazi for the next 14 days due to late payment.
NJERI: Please call me. Thank you.
SAFARICOM: Okoa Jahazi debt
recovered as follows; Main account
0.04 KSH, Balance:49.95 KSH.
SHYLOCK: K**a umeshindwa kulipa
pesa yangu nitauza Hii laptop yako
kesho.
MWENDE: You ignoring my calls, okay
just know that i missed my periods.
NANCY: Leo ni Friday usinidanganye
k**a last time. Nacome tao.
MSHWARI: please repay your loan
before 30th.

Wanaume tulikosea wapi?
😲😲😲

No Messi. No Ramos. No Varane.

Atletico Madrid have to feel pretty good about La Liga this season 😏