Cliff .M. Matara

WHY DID "I" CLIFF LET YOU GO??

I am more at peace with myself. Maybe, I have insulated myself. I am in my happy little bubble of few people and limited conversations. I don’t feel bored. I don’t feel like meeting new people. It’s okay, I feel. I have learned my lessons. I have cried my tears. I am at a happy place in my life now. There are no toxic people. There is just calmness. So when I come across someone whom I even like, I just take a step back. I don’t know why. But after the initial spark. I just feel a little doubt in my head. I just get scared. And I just let it be. I don’t make the efforts needed to make any new equation work. I feel it slipping away, but I just let it go.

Is something wrong with me? Maybe. Or am I just in a phase when new people are just not needed, you know? It’s a risk, after all. And maybe, I don’t want to take that chance. It’s okay. You are a nice person. And I liked you. I loved our conversation. But now please go back. It was nice. Let me keep it as a happy memory. God bless you. That’s how I have let go of many people in the last year or so. Was it my fault? Was that person not good enough? Or was I not good enough? Or we just met at the wrong time? I don’t know. But I can tell you that I had mixed feelings. I kind of felt sad that we could not grow into something more. And I kind of felt happy that I did not get my heart broken this time. So, you know right? What exactly I am saying is that I don’t know. But it’s okay. It’s okay, right?

Maybe, it was good but was not magical enough. Maybe, I met the stars in my skies. But I did not meet my moon. Maybe, I smiled with their smiles. But my soul did not feel that vibe. Maybe, my expectations from people are far too much because I have burned too much while adjusting and accepting. Maybe, I realize soon enough that it won’t last long. Maybe, I get scared of being too happy. Maybe, I want the other person to make more efforts, for a change. Maybe, I secretly want to be chased and wanted. Maybe, I am just meant to be alone. Or maybe, it was all God’s plan to make me wait until I meet my miracle. Maybe, right?

~cliff

What do you know about poetry?
Do you love it?

I L O V E Y O U

I think I was right,
Though not sure about it,
My eyes spotted you,
At the first gaze I fall for you,
Damn! I can't get back on my feet
I'm forever on my knees.

Feeling right though not really OK
The price I'm afraid to pay.
I'm feeling a mess o' mù lóvé
My ghost is yearning for a reconciliation.

~ghost😅
Just my minds though sha😂

A REST

Home for a rest,
Home to take a nap,
Home to relax my mind
Home a place to find peace.

Home a bundle of joy it offers
Home a blessing they thinks iam
Home I finds a soothing comfort,
Home my mother to caress my weary soul.

Home if ma spirit finds rest
Home shall I dwell forever
Home to refill my love tank
Home before I leaves for the next academic endeavors
Home is where I finds rest.
~cliff.

Early tomorrow morning
I'll set up to god
Tell Him how his property,
The garden he created out of passion
The garden that he lended it
Out to man to tender to..

Man has turned it around
He's changed everything
He's destroyed it completely
He's gone too far with it
He's ready to wage war when he'll be back to claim it's ownership.

I'll go to him, tell him it's not as he expected it to be
I'll warn him not to be back alone
I'll advise him to be backed up by his army
I'll let him know man is prepared for a war with him

By Cliff Matara Marando