Halima Oyelade

Something is coming. 💜
For the woman who knows there is more.

More than simply getting through each day.

More than dreams that remain dreams.

More than constantly worrying about tomorrow.

More than playing small when you know you were created for greater impact.

This October, women will gather in Abuja for two transformational days of faith, purpose, leadership, wealth, health, growth, connection and practical action.

iRISE WOMEN CONFERENCE 2026
OVER AND ABOVE
📅 23–24 October 2026
📍 Abuja, Nigeria
Open to ALL women.

Save the date.
Tell another woman.
There is more.
IRise Conference

WELCOME TO SEPTEMBER.

There is something about getting to September that makes it feel like the year is already coming to an end.

It isn't. We still have four months.

But new months give us something valuable: a sense of timing. A moment to pause, reflect and begin again.

So, how has the year been for you?

Maybe you are exactly where you hoped you would be. Maybe you're not.

Either way, the next 30 days can be the beginning of a transformation that moves you closer to your dreams.

One thing I want you to remember this month:

YOU are your greatest asset.

Whatever dream, goal or aspiration you have will require you to become the person with the capacity, belief and discipline to execute it.

Many of the people we celebrate today didn't succeed because they were the most intelligent or talented.

They believed. They took action. They stayed consistent.

Many failed more times than they succeeded before the world called them successful.

So don't write off the year.
Don't write off your dream.
And certainly, don't write off yourself.

Jesus said, “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.” — Mark 9:23

My prayer for you this September is that you will believe again, take courageous action and receive the grace to remain consistent until you see the results you desire.

Happy New Month. Welcome to September. ❤️

You wanted to lead the project, but you never expressed interest.

You wanted that person to mentor you, but you never approached them.

You wanted to speak at the conference, but you never pitched yourself.

You needed support for your initiative, but you never made the request.

And somewhere along the way, you decided:

They probably wouldn't choose me anyway.

The thing is:
You weren't rejected. You never asked.

We sometimes say no to ourselves before giving anyone else the opportunity to say yes.

Of course, asking doesn't guarantee you'll get what you want. But not asking guarantees you never find out what the answer could have been.

So the next time you catch yourself assuming, “They won't agree,” “They won't choose me,” “They probably aren't interested…”

🛑Stop.

Don't answer the question for them.

🙋‍♀️Ask.

You might hear no.

🤷‍♂️But what if the answer would have been YES?

On 26 January 2024, I had one of the most frightening experiences of my life.

I was asleep when my bedroom door opened in the wee hours of the morning. Expecting to see my daughter, who had complained of a cold earlier, I looked up and saw a man in a hoodie standing at my door.

He put his finger to his lips, signalling me to keep quiet.

Long story short, I lost two phones, my iPad, laptop, Canon camera and lenses, and the money in my bag.

Strangely, the fear came afterwards. In that moment, I was simply shocked—and my first thought was my daughter. I didn't know if he was alone or what he had under that hoodie.

Thankfully, he only came into my room, and she remained safe.

But one question stayed with me afterwards: What if he had tried to assault me—or my daughter? What would I have done?

I have always been interested in martial arts, but that experience made me think more seriously about learning it—not just to keep fit, but for self-defence.

So, you can imagine how excited I was when my Minister, Hon. Imaan Sulaiman-Ibrahim, FSI, Honourable Minister of Women Affairs and Social Development, asked me to represent her at the Tongilmoodo Leadership Conference and Official Launch of the World Martial Arts for Peace Initiative.

The Minister is a passionate champion of the protection and empowerment of women, girls and vulnerable groups, and she is keen to explore martial arts training for women and girls.

What I particularly found interesting about Tongilmoodo is that it is not just about learning to fight.

Dr. Chung S*k Yong, International Chairman of the World Tongilmoodo Federation, explained that as you grow in martial arts, you must also grow in character—developing discipline, self-control, service, leadership and love for humanity and country.

That really resonated with me.

The Minister's vision to explore collaboration that can equip Nigerian women and girls with self-defence skills, while also building confidence, resilience, discipline and leadership, is therefore one I am personally excited about.

And when the training starts?

Count me in! I am getting trained too. 🥋💪🏽

So, from now on...

DON'T PLAY WITH ME! 😂😂🥋💪🏽

You can be brilliant at what you do and still struggle to help other people understand it.

I see this particularly with professionals who know their subject deeply. Because you understand it, it's easy to assume everyone else does too. So you use technical language. Give too much detail.
Explain the process instead of the point. And somewhere along the way, you lose your audience.

Before explaining something complex, try three things:

1. Start with the main point.
What does your audience really need to know?

1. Remove unnecessary jargon.
If a simpler word will do, use it.

1. Give an example.
People often understand an idea faster when they can see what it looks like in practice.

Expertise isn't demonstrated by making simple things sound complicated. Sometimes, the clearest evidence that you understand something deeply is your ability to make it simple for someone else.

So don't just know your subject. Learn how to make it understood.

Could you explain what you do to someone outside your profession in 30 seconds?

One of the marks of an effective communicator is the ability to adapt a message to the audience. You may know exactly what you want to say. But before you say it, there's another question worth asking:

Who am I speaking to?

Because the same message you give your team may need to be communicated differently to your CEO.

✳️A technical expert may want the details.
✳️A Board may want the strategic implications.
✳️A client may simply want to know:
"What does this mean for me?"

The message hasn’t necessarily changed. But the language, depth, emphasis and delivery should. This is something I've become increasingly conscious of in my own communication. Before an important conversation or presentation, ask yourself three questions:

1. WHAT DOES THIS AUDIENCE ALREADY KNOW?
Don't spend ten minutes explaining what they already understand—or assume knowledge they don't have.
Start where they are.

1. WHAT MATTERS MOST TO THEM?
Your CEO may be thinking about results.
Your client may be thinking about value.
Your team may be thinking about implementation.

Don't only communicate what matters to you. Connect your message to what matters to them.

3. WHAT DO I WANT THEM TO DO WITH THIS INFORMATION?
Do you want a decision?
Approval?
Buy-in?
Action?
Understanding?

If you're not clear about the outcome, your audience probably won't be either. Adapting your communication isn't being fake. It isn't changing who you are. It is recognising that effective communication is audience-centred, not speaker-centred.

Great communicators don't simply ask:

"What do I want to say?"

They also ask:

"What does this person need to hear—and how can I communicate it so they understand, connect with and act on it?"

That's communication with intention.

Effective communicators know how to make the same message relevant to the person receiving it.

What's one thing you consider before communicating with an important audience?

Yesterday, I shared my thoughts on the viral moment.
Today, let’s move beyond who was right or wrong to the bigger professional lesson:

Knowing how to read and navigate a room is a career skill.

You can be brilliant and highly qualified, but poor communication and lack of awareness can cost you opportunities your competence qualified you for.

Before your next important meeting, presentation or conversation:

1. KNOW THE ROOM.✅�Who will be there? What’s the culture? What’s the appropriate level of formality?
Executive presence begins before you enter the room.

2. OBSERVE BEFORE YOU ASSUME.✅�Listen to how others address people. Watch how introductions are made. Pick up the cues.
When unsure, err on the side of courtesy.
Courtesy doesn’t diminish confidence.

3. REMEMBER: EVERYTHING COMMUNICATES.✅�Your tone. Body language. Choice of words. Form of address. Even how long you speak.
Your words introduce you before people discover your abilities.

4. RECEIVE CORRECTION WELL.✅�Listen. Adjust. Apologise where appropriate and move forward.
Teachability is a mark of maturity.

And finally...
SPEAK UP—but speak with discernment.

I want you to ask the question. Contribute the idea. Communicate your value. Make your voice heard.

But confidence isn’t enough.
Know what to say, how to say it, when to say it and who you’re saying it to.

Because sometimes the opportunity isn’t only about getting into the room.
It’s knowing what to do when you get there.

Save this. You may need it before your next important meeting.

By now, many Nigerians have seen the viral exchange between a young graduate trainee and a highly respected business leader.

I'm not sharing the video. The young woman has received enough public attention already, and I'm not interested in embarrassing her.

I'm interested in what the rest of us can learn from it.

Some say, “The organisation has a first-name culture.” Others say, “She should have known better.” For me, the bigger lesson is this:

Communication competence isn't only knowing WHAT to say. It's knowing HOW to say it, WHEN to say it, WHO you're speaking to—and understanding the ROOM.

In Nigeria, respect and honour are deeply embedded in our culture. We generally don't address people considerably older or senior to us by their first names unless invited to do so. Does that mean first-name culture is wrong? Absolutely not.

It means context matters. What is perfectly acceptable in one organisation, country or room may not be appropriate in another.

That's cultural and social intelligence. And when you're unsure? Observe. Listen. Read the room. Err on the side of courtesy.

Something else caught my attention. When corrected, she adjusted and addressed him appropriately. He thanked her, and the conversation continued.

Personally, I would have added:
“I'm sorry, sir. I didn't mean any disrespect.”

Apologising does not make you small. Being teachable is a leadership strength.

And there's a lesson for leaders here too. He corrected what he considered inappropriate, acknowledged her when she made the correction, and moved on. Correction doesn't have to become humiliation or hostility. You can be firm about your boundaries, acknowledge when someone adjusts, and still preserve their dignity.

I teach women to speak up confidently and make their voices heard, but: Speaking up confidently is not the same as speaking without discernment.

Your voice can open doors. Learn to use it in a way that keeps those doors open.

Tomorrow, I'll share some practical lessons on how to read and navigate important rooms before you speak.

On 12 July 2013, Malala Yousafzai stood before the United Nations and reminded the world that one child, one teacher, one book and one pen can change the world.

That moment is why we commemorate Malala Day.
Last month, I had the privilege of attending a documentary premiere organised by Malala Fund Nigeria and PAGED Initiative to mark the occasion.
What stayed with me wasn't just the films. It was meeting some of the adolescent mothers whose stories were featured.

One story, in particular, stayed with me.

A young girl, despite being married and having a baby, refused to give up on her dream of getting an education. She sold her goat—her most valuable possession—to raise the money she needed to travel and sit her examinations because there was no examination centre near her community.
She made it to the exams. Sadly, she couldn't return to school because she could no longer afford to continue.

Stories like these remind us that numbers inform us, but stories move us.

I also want to commend the remarkable young girls who wrote, directed and produced these documentaries. They didn't just tell stories—they gave voice to realities that too often go unheard.

Their creativity and courage remind us that girls are not just beneficiaries of change; they are powerful storytellers and advocates for it.

One of those remarkable young women is Khadija Ibrahim, who also served as the event host with confidence and grace.

This initiative by Malala Fund Nigeria and PAGED Initiative is a powerful example of what is possible when organisations invest in girls, amplify their voices and connect their stories with those who can influence change.

I also left inspired by the many passionate people I met—individuals committed to ensuring these girls are not just seen, but heard.

I am truly grateful for the opportunity to represent the Honourable Minister of Women Affairs and Social Development Hon. Imaan Sulaiman -Ibrahim FSI at the event

Stories don't just move hearts. They move policy.
And sometimes, that's where lasting change begins.