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longest TIME GUYS❤💙😇

WHOEVER WROTE THIS
SHOULD BE GIVEN AN
AWARD!!!

I AM A WOMAN!!!

So what?
I get into an argument
with a man, he slaps me,
I feel the pain, yet they
tell me I provoked him. I
should have been quiet, I
should have been patient.
I should apologize to him.

I get into an argument
with a man, I slap him,
they tell me I have no
respect, no home
training. I should have
been quiet, I should have
been patient. I should
apologize to him.
Because I am a woman, I
don't have a right to be
angry. So, the degree of
my innocence is directly
proportional to the
degree of my silence in
the face of oppression
and brutality.....

Because I am a woman,
my husband cheats on
me, I am told to tolerate it
to save my marriage. The
barbaric and stupid
excuse is that ''it is in
their nature to cheat, I
should slim down, dress
better, cook better, pray
harder and be more
pleasant to him"

I cheat, and I am called a
w***e, I have committed
an abomination, I have no
right to look elsewhere
for the love and
emotional support I lack
at home, I am an
irresponsible mother.

So I am sent packing,
from the home we both
built, with all my earthly
possessions stuffed into
a tiny box on my head. I
am henceforth forbidden
from seeing my two older
children, I'm lucky to be
allowed to go with my
little one still suckling on
my left breast. Three
years later, the little one
is tagged a bastard. Now,
my new name is "after-
three", because I am a
woman.

He is 28 and runs a
company. He's tagged
wonderful, hardworking,
focused, career oriented,
successful at a very
young age.

I am 28 and I run a
company "Hmmmm....
she is not even married,
unserious, can not order
her priorities right, a
hustler, loves money, let
her go and get a husband
oh"
And I wonder if being
successful has anything
to do with a person's
gender.

Because I am a woman,
I am not allowed to have
wits or be a prodigy, I
cannot be financially
buoyant, professionally
successful or be treated
with respect without a
man beside me.

Then I am tagged

Dear God, Only you know how much I want to be happy this year and be at peace with my heart. Complete me Lord 🤲🏼

Good morning and happy weekend💙😇

My val gift came early

This man wan wound me with love oo

Sibanu m congratulations 🤸🤸🤸

For you, for you who maybe in your early or late 20s, I pray you get to find the words you want to hear. The most challenging part on this stage is learning how to survive from society's expectations of you. And most times you resort to living up their expectations because you feel like you are oblige to do so, when you are not. You may have your degree completed, but that doesn't mean opportunities and jobs will come easily on your way. Not everything works out of luck, you have to strive to thrive.

Wherever you are at the moment, be gentle on yourself. You may feel less of a person because you have seen your friends and other people living up their best life while you are just here, maybe a little stuck or just starting yet, I hope you never see yourself unworthy of the good and great things. Never compare your chapter one to other people's chapter 5. What's more important now is you are making it through the day with the little amount or small progress you have. What's more important now is taking extra care of your well-being. Give everything a shot, but do not forget to pause in between those hustles.

This stage, you will overcome this triumphantly. You are your own source of positive attraction, so believe that you can.

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GOOD MORNING
💙

Victor Boniface during the Nigerian game vs. South Africa 😅

😂😂😂😂😂

PRAY NEVER TO BE IN A SITUATION WHERE ONLY GOD IS YOUR WITNESS😅

You live with your wife and the maid. One Saturday morning, your wife goes to the market. A while later, you go to take a bath to go out. The maid also takes the opportunity to go and bathe in her own bathroom.

Whilst you two were in your bathrooms, Madam came back home to pick the phone she forgot. Then the doorbell rings. Remember, you are bathing, but didn’t know the maid was also taking her bath, so you continued with no worries, and your wife was all along on the bell.

Not understanding why the maid is yet to get the door, you tie your towel, your curved tool making a bulge in the towel, you rush out of the bath and head to the door.

Getting to the living room, you find the maid already opening the door with wrapper tied to her chest, sumptuous bossom popping through the lightly wet wrapper tied to her chest, curvaceous buttocks seeming bare in the very light ankara.

Madam enters and sees the maid wet with wrapper tied around her chest, and you, oga, also wet with towel tied around your loins...

Madam looks at both of you weirdly and asks what was going on and why it took so long for both of you to show up, in that state, and together.
Now, your wife doesn’t know what we know...

With the aid of scientific calculator, explain in 70 words the theory that can save your marriage.

HOW WILL YOU CONVINCE MADAM THAT YOU ARE INNOCENT? 🤷‍♂️

Me: Guy! See wetin I see for twitter just now!! Chicken Republic dey share rice for people wey dey come their branch for Surulere!!

Timothy: Now??

Me: Guy e dey happen as me and you dey talk now!!! See na! *Shows him pictures*...see nylon! See people wey carry food dey waka around!

Timothy: Ahhh!!! Guuuyyy!!! And Surulere far from there!!! We suppose go this thing!! We wey dey hungry for here since day before yesterday night!

Me: *smiles*... This God dey work in mysterious ways

Timothy: Wetin happen?? I dey talk say we no fit go Surulere to choo food, you dey talk God work in mysterious ways...shey God dey work for chicken republic??

Me: *smiles*...where Solomon dey?

Timothy: Which kain stupld question be that one?... Hin go work, wetin happen?

Me: Where he dey work?

Timothy: I know? He tell us?? E never reach one month wey he start the work.

Me: *smiles*... Na chicken republic our guy dey work. Chicken Republic for Surulere.

Timothy: ldlot, na me you wan do this rubbish for. FooI

Me: *laughs*...oya wait. *Dials Solomon's number*... Hello guy, hwfa

Solomon: Hello bro, thank God say you call...abeg come open door for me...our front gate.

Me: Okay..*goes outside and open door for him then he quickly enters with cooler of rice*

Timothy:

Me: When I dey tell you, you think say na joke?

Timothy: Omo!!

Solomon: *Enters kitchen and puts the cooler inside cupboard*...Abeg make una help me hold this food, I go come back for night. *Quickly leaves the house*

Me: *comes out of the kitchen with two spoons and the cooler*.... Oh solo don go??... You believe me now??

Timothy: Omo guuuyyy!! God works in mysterious ways!! *Collects one spoon*

Me: *eats rice*...when I talk am before, you ask me if God don dey work for chicken republic. *Eats another spoon of rice*

Timothy: *takes two spoons of rice at once*... Guy, Solo na Godsent!!! *Cleans tears of joy*

Me: I just like the guy...a true friend....*collect that chicken wing, give me the chest*.

{ Later at n

PREGNANT FOR MY PASTOR

EPISODE 3.

That night nothing happened and he really wanted my husband to return back soon but he couldn't allow me alone in that house. If something happened to me, my husband was going to hold him responsible. Living with him for two months made me start to love him because he had this way he treated me like a Papa could do. Soft, caring, decent, respectful and more to that he treated me with tenderness. I was not the only one who noticed that, that was how he treated every christian in the church.
I don't know what went over me, i was not a devoted christian like my husband so i was easily carried away by pleasure. I started desiring the pastor because he was still young but i hid my feelings because i knew it was wrong. But i was not strong in prayer as him, so i discovered i lust after him. And each time i did, i always had dreams of a man using his face to sleep with me in my dreams.
When that first happened, i started having uncontrollable feelings and emotions for my pastor.
When i learned that he wanted to be engaged i was mad and jelous. The worse was when i saw him with another girl i couldn't bear it.
So one day i return from the church and he had told me he will not be coming over to spend the night in my place. He had assigned a sister to stay with me because he needed to concerntrate but on my own thoughts i knew he wanted to get over me. That night i couldn't sleep, i only thought about my pastor and dreamt again he was making love to me.
When my husband called me on phone i didn't even want to pick, but when the pastor called to ask how i was doing, i didn't want him to quit the line. I got angry when he dropped the call.
I started feeling that i had gotten married to the wrong man. And more to that my husband was not good in bed. I always imagine the pastor on me, because one night i slept beside him and his morning wood touch my body on a sensible place and it arouse me..