Welcome to FlowRelating! We believe when you experience flow in your relationships life is better.
18/04/2025
The shadow is any part of ourselves we’ve rejected, hidden, or disowned — often just to be accepted, loved, or safe.
It can include:
- Emotions we weren’t allowed to feel (anger, neediness, pride)
- Traits we were shamed for (sensitivity, ambition, confidence)
- Needs or desires we learned to suppress
- Even our brilliance or potential
The shadow is not bad. It’s unconscious. It lives in the dark — until we’re ready to meet it.
11/04/2025
Practice of Acceptance
Accepting others as they are is one of the most transformative things we can do in relationships. But it’s also one of the hardest.
When someone’s behavior feels hurtful, confusing, or disappointing, our minds go into overdrive:
• “Why would they say that?”
• “What does that mean about me?”
• “Why can’t they just show up differently?”
Here are a few reasons why we struggle to accept others:
1. We don’t see their positive intention or context.
Even unhealthy behaviors often come from pain, fear, or protection. Without understanding the “why” behind someone’s actions, it’s easy to judge or reject.
2. We personalize their behavior.
We make their inconsistency, distance, or outburst mean something about us — our worth, our lovability, or our failure to be “enough.”
3. We are outsourcing a need we don’t yet know how to meet in ourselves.
The more we rely on someone else for validation, emotional safety, or clarity, the harder it is to accept them — because we need them to change so we can feel okay.
Acceptance doesn’t mean agreement.
It means: “I see that you are who you are, and I don’t need to fight with that truth.”
From that place of clarity, we can make conscious choices — to stay, to set boundaries, or to step back.
Tell me: Where do you still resist who someone is?
13/03/2025
Join us this Sunday at 11:00 at Lebkov in Rotterdam. Sign up through MeetUp platform "Attachment Theory Coaching"
10/10/2024
FREE Attachment Theory MeetUp
Join us for a casual meetup to discuss Attachment Theory, an area of psychology that explores how early relationships with caregivers can shape our behaviors and emotions in adult relationships.
We will gather at Lebkov & Sons in Rotterdam on Sunday 13th of October at 11:00 AM to chat and share our experiences and insights about attachment theory. Each month, we dive into a different aspect of Attachment Theory, offering new perspectives and discussions.
Sign up here: https://www.meetup.com/rotterdam.../events/303173745/
This is a great opportunity to meet like-minded individuals, network, and learn from each other. There is no need to have any prior knowledge of attachment theory to attend.
We look forward to seeing you there!
- Sarah
Certified Integrated Attachment Coach
10/10/2024
FREE Attachment Theory MeetUp
Join us for a casual meetup to discuss Attachment Theory, an area of psychology that explores how early relationships with caregivers can shape our behaviors and emotions in adult relationships.
We will gather at Lebkov & Sons in Rotterdam on Sunday 13th of October at 11:00 AM to chat and share our experiences and insights about attachment theory. Each month, we dive into a different aspect of Attachment Theory, offering new perspectives and discussions.
Sign up here: https://www.meetup.com/rotterdam-attachment-theory-coaching-meetup-group/events/303173745/
This is a great opportunity to meet like-minded individuals, network, and learn from each other. There is no need to have any prior knowledge of attachment theory to attend.
We look forward to seeing you there!
- Sarah
Certified Integrated Attachment Coach
08/04/2023
They were never properly loved and all three found their unique way of dealing with it. Asking for more, or denying that they need it at all.
06/04/2023
Today we talked about emotional processing in our online MeetUp this evening. I thought I'd write a short summary on how to process your emotions effectively, so you can use this as a reference in the future.
When you are triggered ask yourself: 1) What are you thinking in the situation and what emotions are you experiencing (make sure to describe sensations and label your emotions), 2) What meaning do you give to the situation, 3) Do you know for certain if it's true (find proof of opposite), 4) What is your need in the situation, 5) What is a healthy strategy to get that need met.
These 5 steps will help you transform difficult situations and emotions into actionable steps.
Enjoy
10/03/2023
When you want to discuss a difficult topic with someone, whether it is conflict resolution or you just needing to share vulnerably use this conscious communication triangle.
1. Understand their situation and validate their feelings and needs.
2. Ask them if they're open to hearing your perspective on the situation.
3. Share your interpretation, your feelings, and needs.
NOTE: Take responsibility for your feelings and needs, i.e. say 'I feel ...' NOT 'you make me feel...'.
4. Come together and strategize for a collective solution.
In almost all situations this way of communicating will lead to a happy resolution for both sides. Let me know how this works out for you!
"Seek first to understand, then to be understood" - Stephen Covey
22/01/2023
Our attachment style says a lot about our relationship to others as well as our relationship to ourselves. How much are you able to trust others and how secure are you in your relationship to yourself?
18/01/2023
The six pillars of Integrated Attachment Theory.