25/04/2026
Such a beautiful day today⦠š find myself drifting to memories of our home we sharedā¦ š„¹ what would we have been doing today if you were still hereā¦?
I can feel you, my arms ache, some days more than others and today is one of those days.
Miss you bub, all the timeā¦ā„ļøš«¶š¹š
Wish weād taken more photos⦠do I have enough to last me a lifetime?
16/03/2026
Happy Heavenly Birthday Kevvy ā„ļø spent the day with you yesterdayā¦watched the sunrise with you this morningā¦.š itās been a really emotional couple of days to be honest, harder than last year for some reasonā¦. A lot of memories flooding in like they were yesterday so its been a roller coaster šŗ but thats to be expected..
Hey I went back to our house, just to have a lookā¦in case you were thereā¦you werenāt abd our trees been cut down š¢ but I weeded the garden n sat and just hung out, I remember everything with you like it was yesterday.
Love you Kevvy.
I hope youāre at peace š¹ā„ļøš
I feel youāre at peace
Youāll never be forgotten, We think of you every day and talk about you all the timeā¦
Rest in love beautiful # #
23/01/2026
Thinking of you tonight⦠itās been a tough couple days⦠wish I had your advice.
Reading through some papers and looking at some photos.
A reminder of what a wonderful man you were, how many people you helped while battling life yourself⦠these are a few, I literally had100s of messages, almost every one had a story about you Kev⦠you stayed real⦠appreciating that now more than ever. So rare.
I hope youāre ok where you are, I hope youāre free, I hope youāre happy.
Thank you š I hope you hear me # # #
04/01/2026
Well thatās another year done & dusted. My New Years resolution last year was to just make it through one day at a timeā¦. I did that ššš¹ This year I have plans, I have goals I have every intention on scoring, I realise Iāll be āhealingā and āgrievingā for the rest of my life so I have to learn how to live and achieve at the same time. Iāve hibernated, had a lot of time to reflect & learn and Iām ready to come back!!
I wouldnāt have had the tools to get where I am today without Kev in my heartā¦. I love you Kevvy, I feel your hand on my shoulder when I need you, I hear your voice when I have no answers and I feel your presence when I feel lonely. Thank you my darlingā¦.
Happy new year everyone. I love you all⦠have a happy and safe 2026. ā„ļøš„ā¤ļøš¤š
23/10/2025
Reflecting today on this journey Iāve had no choice but to take⦠some days are so much harder than others. Iāve tried to surround myself with people who have only the best intentions but sometimes one will slip through⦠someone you might have known most of your life then you realise this person slithered into your life with an agenda.
Betrayal only hits hard the people who understand what LOYALTY is.
Remembering āThe best of themā today⦠old school teachings. Loyalty.
Solid til the end.
Love you all, miss you all so much.
Feel better just flicking through some photos. Makes me remember who I am and the s # I wonāt tolerateā¦
I know whoās got my back.. ā¤ļøš
Grateful to have had these amazing people in my lifeā¦.Iāll never forget where Iāve come from and who shaped me.
29/09/2025
Thinking of you tonightā¦
Missing youā¦
So much love Kevvy, miss you madly.
ā¤ļøšā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø
17/09/2025
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16/09/2025
Oh my god Kevvy I miss you so so much⦠Iād do absolutely anything, ANYTHING to cuddle you right nowā¦
I love you bub ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļøššššš
16/08/2025
Well today, 16th August 2025 marks 3 years that Kevs been gone. This isnāt a date I like to dwell on or celebrate, we do that on his birthdayā¦.
So rather than focus on his departure, I just wanted to touch on what our soldier left behind for us.
I still get messages and phone calls through RONIN with stories and reminders of Kevs teachings and his instructionals, one in particular was from a coach teaching children and they just werenāgetting the hang of some of the submissions so this coach used one of Kevs methods and used his videos and he said they āgot itā straight away to his relief and delight! That right there is what Kev did it for and if he can live on in a Dojo on the other side of the world or in a backyard somewhere in South Auckland heād be happy.
Kev wasnāt just about MMA of course and he left with us SO much wisdom and insightā¦. Some things he and I talked about i am only resonating with now⦠and I āget itā Kev!! I understand.
Kev had a way of connecting with people on a whole different level⦠so many of you already know this, he had something perhaps Intuitive which is why those who knew him loved him⦠he gave people the ability to be EXACTLY who they are without judgment or prejudice so there was always a sense of freedom in his company and I loved that too ā¤ļøš
Weāve come a long way in 3 years, I know people say not to look back just keep going forward but I do look back because sometimes I feel weāre at a stand still, itās only in reflecting Iām assured of our journey that we keep on ākeeping onā..,, Kane has gone from my baby to a heavyweight⦠heās becoming a man now and weāve had a few laughs over how Kev would have handled some of his situations⦠no doubt with humour and long walks n talks ā¤ļø
Aside from many changes to my hair I think Iām still the same me⦠that raw pain does subside enough to start to live life againā¦itās always there but I have more control over when it rises.
I miss Kev every single day and when my head is clear or Iām gardening or cleaning my car my thoughts always drift to him and past conversations, funny memories, words of advice⦠heās always with me.
I feel blessed to have gotten to here, with support from Kevs family, my family, close friends and supporters of RONIN itās been a fu # hard road, I wouldānt wish this on anyone, but itās vital we look back with positive, happy memories for Kev. He deserves to be remembered for all those good things he put into our lives so thatās what weāre doing.
We love you Kevvy, every single day you are loved, you are remembered and you are celebrated. You could not possibly ever be forgottenā¦
Resting together;
Kevin Hay
Tony Renata
Dave Beaver
Monty Bhana
May they all rest in love and peace ā¤ļø
Angels of Gods Army š
03/06/2025
I watched some funny home videos weād made today⦠I laugh while Iām watching them, I remember every moment as if it were yesterday⦠then the reality still suckerpunches the life out of me, still canāt believe your gone. Miss you so much, I always will, we love you and talk about you every single day, Iām sure you hear us šā¤ļøš«¶