Babywearing with Jess

Many, many years ago I invested in a bulk order of gift cards with art by fellow babywearing mama located in Aotearoa.

One design had a mama and pepi in a sling and the other a mama, papa and 3 little people with various slings. For a long time I used to use them for everything and anything and long ago I ran out of the Mama and Pepi style. As I searched for a card to house a photo I wanted to gift a dear fellow solo mama friend who I was seeing today, I found the stack of the family of five ones left in the depths of my office boxes.

I reached for them, ever the creative problem solver, I was confident a solution would make it's self apparent soon enough... the container housing the stickers on the office table was knocked shortly after in a commotion of tamariki bickering over video games..

Thanks Universe, you're right, we've got this! 👑✨️🧹🫶

Just an annual reminder that the old white man in the red suit who gets all the credit as the mascot of Christmas spirit is not anything more or less than you want to make it in your house…

Thankfully since Covid, most Santa set ups have a stool next to the old guy instead of the normalised lap sitting when this photo was taken in 2016! 🤯😊

TRIGGER WARNING: CONSENT DISCUSSIONS & SANTA

Some kids love this guy right?

He’s awesome, most adults and older kids seem to love him and look up to him and he gives you presents…

But there is also the other perspective that while he is all those things, he is essentially some random guy I don’t know whose lap I am sitting on here in an elaborate mall setting right?

I mean he said his name was “Santa” when I chatted with him sitting on his knee today but his facial features weren’t the same as the “Santa” I high fived when he gave Jai a present at the Playcentre Christmas party yesterday…

And I mean obviously you can tell I’m down with having my photo sitting on this dudes lap, I even paid for it.

But what if I hadn’t been happy and smiling? What if I had been crying and screaming?

What if I had been trying to push him off me and run away?

Would it have been ok for someone to tell me, “it’s just a minute, smile for the camera”?

I know as an adult who is not a child many may think of that situation as different, but is it?

The messages we give children about their own bodies and consent now will be the way they view and think about these constructs going forward…

Is it ok to feel pressured into doing something you don’t want to do with your body because it is what everyone around you is doing?
(Think about how that might translate to teenage years- s*x, drugs and alcohol..?)

Is it ok to somewhat force people who don’t want to do something with their own body do it because you are able to potentially manipulate the situation or convince them to do it?
(This just scream potential issues with things like date r**e and s*xual harassment to me…)

Is it ok to feel forced or pressured into continuing to perpetuate this ideal and tradition because it is what we have been brought up to do, even if you are not comfortable with it?

If you are keen to get a Santa photo and you’re kids are unsure, why don’t you jump in with the jolly man too so it’s less, “creepy sending you alone to see some stranger you are not really sure about” and more “Yay! This is a celebration of Christmas and magic and love- and this here, he is the mascot for it if you like, and we call him Santa”.

You have the power to decide what the Christmas traditions and other rituals and celebrations are like in your family when you are the parent, if they don’t work for you guys… why not think about changing them?

https://babywearingwithjess.wordpress.com/2016/12/08/the-magic-of-christmas/

We are excited to announce we have a raffle listed online to win some creations and rock painting packs from us! This Saturday at Kaipātiki Reserve we are having our Art for Everyone - Rodney Rocks event for Arts in the Ville 2024 event where we will draw two raffle winners 😊👌

You are welcome to purchase a ticket online even if you don’t plan to join us this weekend, winners will be drawn at 2pm this Saturday- ticket $5 each & available here - https://socialnexus.nz/products/saturday-26th-oct-2024-art-for-everyone-arts-in-the-ville-community-event

You can see more details about what is in these packs through the link about. We appreciate your support to continue to bring this and other events to our local community 🫶

A new pepi! But not of the human variety 🤣

Many years ago, K.I.Designs (aka Kelsey) and I meet through this mahi, now nine years later we are working on a different kind of collaboration, developing a charitable community hub, Social Nexus

In meetings today about future of events and retreats for that project, I was talking with another friend who was part of the babywearing gateway for me a few years earlier. A registered nurse turned birthwork supporter and birth trauma counselor who once upon a time worked for Plunket and has SIX tamariki, Kelly.

We are dreaming up a Magical Birth retreat and today I was reminded of my passion for empowering dad's with practical skills like wrapping pepi as a way to support mama and how much this mahi feeds my soul!

We are still dreaming about the magical birth events, but we do have info on our page about the Tired Mama Retreat and the Burnt Out Witch retreat which we are super excited about bringing to life later in the year!

💜💙💚💛🧡❤

Welcome to our new baby, Social Nexus.

Kelsey and Jess met in 2015, both operating businesses in the babywearing space in Aotearoa. Familiar to each other only online, it was serendipitous that they lived local to each other without even realizing.

Between them they have seven children and are both solo mama. Sharing lots of the same values and struggles in life, many a late night conversation seemed to return to the same point, “how can we change the world?”

With a great appreciation for how the current systems fail the most vulnerable, they also sit firmly behind the concept of “we don't need to destroy the old to create the new”.

We want to do our part to make changes that the world needs instead of letting the apathy get to us. There are many ways we can, right now, change things that will help our children's future, but they need better frameworks and structures to make that possible.

That's where Social Nexus comes in.

Both having a variety of different mahi hats so to speak, we are familiar with the juggle that is working from home around children and family life. We needed a space to be able to come together with others to do our work, to support each other, to accommodate our children and our needs as to be able to best parent them, to be held and to hold others through the ups and downs of life, to heal, to create, to grow.

The current system of working 40hr weeks, parenting and living in a house as the only adult with a whole bunch of dependents, isolated from each other… well it has a habit of making people sick or pushing them to breaking point, something we know first hand.

We need spaces to be with one another, opportunities for creativity so our mind’s anxiety can rebalance. We need spaces focused on holistic and multidisciplined approaches to healing and wellness. We need places to parent our children alongside others, so that the role of things like passing on life skills is less demanding and sharing ‘mutual sites of fulfillment’ which are so rich and giving for families and communities.

We need chances to be empowered in our lives, in our households, in general; sharing skills, knowledge and resources in community helps people feel less apathetic and checked out. We need a practical, hands-on community again, we need to recreate the village.

We look forward to bringing more and more of our plans and venue to you in the coming weeks before we launch in June!

Spent the morning with the lovely group of SPACE mama at Helensville Playcentre talking all things babywearing. Still working our way towards getting a local sling meet off the ground for parents and caregivers in the Rodney area, for now, Slingbabies! in Henderson on the first Friday of the month is our best bet.

It's still incredibly relevant that the best way to find the carrier most suited to you is to get to a place you can try on some options 🤱✌️

Thanks for snuggles little pepi! Hope your mama finds it easier to use some of those carriers she has for you now... x

Well Eartha and I were clearly having too much fun hahah my tamariki tell me I look maniacal and I don't disagree 😝🤣

So lovely to feel the festive joy of being part of local community. The mahi of serving this area is something these lovey humans do without enough recognition. Not just at the midwives and team at the Birthing Centre but the likes of organisations like Kindred Family Services, Parent Aid North West and South Kaipara Good Food!

How lucky are we to have such amazing wrap around support! If you are in the Rodney area and haven't heard of these people, check them out. If you need some extra support this time of year, please remember you are by far the only one, reach out! ❤️

How lucky are we?! came by this week to gift the clinic a collection of baby wraps, these wraps will be available for whanau to borrow from the clinic 🥰 no charge, just return then when you’re done 🌸

Like all great sling meets, this morning finished with a sleeping pepi in a wrap 💚😍

To me, ring slings and stretchy wraps are the universal best newborn carrying options. They do also have a bit of a learning curve and put many new parents off carriers sometimes...

As I explore what to do with my library long term and how to support my new local community doing so, I find myself again marveling at Helensville Birthing Centre and the amazing mahi that they do. The new drop in service they are running is miharo and such an asset to the Rodney community.

They have space for some ring slings and stretchies to be featured in thier new drop in venue, alongside some copies of the Why Dads Babywear project book. They also have midwives and child birth educators keen to support parents using them. I will be working alongside them to upskill and make sure they are prepared with the best idea of the pedagogy of teaching these skills.

What would be amazing, is to have a back log of ring slings and stretchies so they can lend them out without it meaning they can't teach the next person. So I'm looking to see if there is anyone who might have one lying around that they want to donate?

Unfortunately I don't have the budget to fiscally support gathering them so can't offer you something for your good will, unless maybe you want guidance on a geeky babywearing question?! 🤔😆🙃 But if anyone, like me, might be at the end stages of thier own personal carrying journey and wanted to make sure your stash continues to see babies and offer freedom and support to new parents, I would love to support it finding that home!

Get in touch, I'd love to hear from you :)

Flashbacks to little Jack, who is now a big 5.5 yr old firecracker! ☺️

Just over two weeks ago I did a big thing in my world and stepped down from my volunteer role with Slingbabies!

We are the oldest running sling meet in NZ and the only one still standing in Auckland as far as I'm aware. These wahine are my tribe, the group was a gateway to my parenting world 11 years ago and I can't even begin to express how grateful for that I am.

I also finished up my decade of time in the Playcentre Aotearoa whanau last year. Life is in full transition mode as I journey and grow into the next stage of life with my tamariki who are all now big school kids!

But as I sat in another old role, Breastfeeding Peer Supporter with Helensville Birthing Centre this morning I realised there is a step I need to do before I hang up my hat in these areas.

I'm keen to pass the batten, I want to empower some other people to empower others. I want to let the ripples spread. So I am entertaining the idea of offering some peer supporter training. I'm not interested in launching my own training program in this area (I'm already halfway through another one haha) or making a bunch of money, so it would be not a regular event and if there is a cost, it will be minimal. I'm hoping to find some sponsorship or other funding to make it free if possible.

Are there many people, Auckland based particularly, that would be keen for some geeking out on babywearing knowledge, learning more or having a play generally and picking up some tips and tricks about teaching others how to use these amazing parenting tools?

Right now, my stash boxes are unorganised, stacked away among renovations and house moving boxes and all the pretties in there not seeing any love!

That needs to change ❤