Fitness at Tiffany's

This is my client James

James has decided to take on an absolutely mammoth task and complete the Tour of Aotearoa.

This beast is planning to cycle the length of NZ in just 4 weeks on his lonesome. He's spent years dreaming about it and training hard in the gym, on his bike and gathering all the intel he can. And after all this prep he is ready to go! You can see his planned stops on the next slide over.

He started this mammoth journey yesterday and only last minute did this humble little bastard let me know that he had set up a sponsorship page.

If you'd like to show him some sponsorship love please go to the link in my bio and donate.

Bike duck provided by me, name reveal on next update but please leave appropriate guesses in the comments.

Go James!!!

"Stop taking pictures of my dog and tell me how good my reps are!"

No.

F**k I love a gym dog visit. Please enjoy Frankie and his Christmas bandana.

Not pictured: my client trying to get my attention by doing very lovely hanging knee tucks that I told him to do.

Great work Matt.

When your mate could do with a spot but it's your lunch break.

Moose is a terrible judge of character.

The best thing about having an office is having clients drop in to talk s**t.... and not workout.

I've been playing around in Canva and noticed a new AI function. Type in some words, it generates an image. The opportunity to abuse this was too tempting.

Please enjoy the gallery of useless media I have generated.

Image 1 + 2 "Christmas gym"

Everyone is too happy, only some have hats. Is there a mirror in the green room? Or a horrifying window into another dimension? A barbell goes through a woman.

Image 3 "Goth Christmas gym"
Butt plugs hang from the ceiling, no one can decide on how many fingers they need, vials of blood sit on benches, a barbell is loaded with 80kgs on one side only, goths can't spell.

Image 4 "Santa at gym"
He knows when you are lifting, he knows when you are slack, he knows too much about your s**tty form so straighten up for goodness sake... or else he will THROW this barbell through the rack AT you.

Image 5 "A fun and friendly gym for people in their 60s"

I tried a more normal search. It didn't disappoint. I present to you... "Purgatory." How many people have s**t themselves and why? Is this 60? Another mirror or another portal to hell? You decide.

Arrrrreee you are ready to RRRRUUUSSELLLL.

Russel is back for a few days.

That is all.

That is my big work announcement.

I have a dog.

1. My office smells AMAZING after my client brought me sweat peas from her garden.

2. Also a client gift. Very different vibes though.

This is a meme page now.

Thanks for the submission.

UberEats is a bit slow on the long weekends.

Had to resort to other means.