Coach me to Grow

When feeling overwhelmed, your physical senses are the fastest way to anchor yourself back into a place of ease.

Start by taking a few deep breaths. With every breath, relax deeper into your body. Where are you holding tension right now? Your shoulders, your jaw, perhaps your stomach? Breathe directly into that space, and as you exhale, let go of the tightness.

Another excellent tool is the 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique. Look around you and pay attention to:

• 5 things you can see – Notice details you usually miss, like the way light hits a surface or the texture of a wall.
• 4 things you can touch – Feel the ground under your feet, the fabric of your clothes, or the warmth of a mug in your hands.
• 3 things you can hear – Listen for subtle sounds in the background – a breeze outside, a distant car, or your own breathing.
• 2 things you can smell – Focus on the scents around you, whether it’s fresh air, coffee, or rain.
• 1 thing you can taste – Notice the lingering taste in your mouth, or take a slow, mindful sip of water.

Land in this body, in this room, in this very second. 🌿

I recently experienced a big disappointment that knocked me off my game. I applied for a role I considered an ideal position as a Performance Life Coach. Out of more than 90 applicants, I made it into the final two, but in the end, I wasn't selected. It’s all very well to say "rejection is protection or redirection," but it doesn't take the sting or the way it was handled away.

The only thing I can do is embrace these feelings with love, and choose how I react to the experience and what I take from it.

It’s in times like these that I go back to basics and revisit the list of daily reminders I’ve created over the years.

I had to remind myself that energy flows where attention goes. For me, a great energy-shifting question to ask myself is, “What is the best thing that could happen today?”

Instantly, my focus shifted to what I truly want. By imagining it and feeling how it would be, I know I send a strong message into the Universe. I felt an immediate lightness, joy, excitement, and hope.

I reminded myself that negative feelings are the Universe’s way of saying I’m blocking my own good. It might take a while for the negative energy to clear, but eventually it has to give way as I tune into a new frequency. ✨

What thoughts, words and actions do you need as reminder of how incredibly lovable you are?

True self-care is a deliberate, daily choice. It is about closing the gap between what we want to believe about our worth and how we actually show up for ourselves.

When we consciously align our inner world with our outer choices, we are congruent. We no longer crave external validation, because we’re grounded ourselves and in the extraordinary being we ARE.

Here is how I am choosing to practice it today:

The thoughts I will think
* My value is not something I have to earn or prove – it is already woven into who I am.
* I turn away from all negative stories running in my mind.
* I always deserve more love, not less.
* I am enough, even when I don’t feel that way.
The words I will speak
* I speak my truth from the heart without apology.
* I fully accept love, appreciation and compliments from others.
* I choose words that lift me up and speak to my worth.
The actions I will take
* I treat myself with the exact same tenderness, patience, and warmth that I give to those I care about most.
* I set boundaries that honour my time and energy.
* I commit to taking care of my body by eating healthy.

Write your own list – what affirmations do you need to remind yourself of how incredibly lovable you are?

We don’t see the world as it is; we see it through the lens of our perception that stems from our past experiences, especially the way we were treated as children and the way we experienced life then. Our mental filters constantly label and limit everything around us.

Without realising it, we often cling to our old, painful stories because they feel like familiar territory. Staying in a familiar rut—even an uncomfortable one—can feel safer than stepping into the unknown. If we grew up feeling overlooked or like a victim, we can subconsciously weave that into our adult identity just to keep getting the hidden perks. It might have been a survival strategy back then, but carrying it into adulthood only keeps us trapped in the exact same cycles.

We can start creating a different script that runs in our minds by becoming aware of what our stories are and becoming aware of what you are gaining from them.

For example, if you tell yourself a story that you're just "not good at relationships," what is the hidden payoff? By staying single, you protect yourself from the messy risk of being vulnerable or getting hurt. You get to keep your total freedom without ever having to compromise, and you get a steady stream of sympathy from friends when you complain about it.

The moment we identify the hidden rewards of our old stories, we reclaim our power to choose a different path – one that actually serves who we want to become. 🌱

Every moment spent stuck in overthinking is a moment we aren't truly here. When we pull back, hide our feelings, or put off the things that bring us joy, we are trading real life for comfort. What if you stopped waiting for the "right" moment and just chose this moment? Say what needs to be said, hold the people you love a little tighter, and let yourself experience the full, messy, beautiful truth of being alive right now. Don't just let the days pass by – make the memories worth looking back on. 🤍

Every single day offers us a clean slate. We don't have to carry the weight, the expectations, or the old patterns of who we were yesterday into this fresh moment.

When we stop letting old fears and stories that we tell ourselves dictate our lives or how we connect with others, things start to change. It's like being born into a different life. We move away from forced transactions and step into genuine, heart-centred alignment. In that space, we finally remember the truth – that we are always free to choose a different, higher path for ourselves.

Who are you choosing to be in this brand-new moment? 🤍🌱☀️

DEVELOPING MENTAL STRENGTH 💪

Mental strength is built quietly through consistency - through difficult days, painful lessons, self-control, patience and learning how to remain calm when things get messy. It's not always easy! Some days you'll ace it and some days will be harder, fall down and be disappointed, knowing you could have done better. No matter how successful we feel in terms of being the best version of ourselves, we should always treat ourselves with compassion and understanding, reminding ourselves that we are human too. Here are a couple of good reminders to take into your day:

1. Don’t beg for love, attention, or respect ✅
What is genuine will not require constant chasing. Real connections bring peace, not emotional exhaustion.

2. Stop expecting what can't be given 🙅‍♀️
Not everyone shares the same values, ethics or awareness. Peace begins when you stop demanding understanding from people incapable of giving it.

3. Accept that life is unfair sometimes 😕
Life will not always reward good people immediately or make every situation make sense. Strength is continuing forward anyway.

4. Control your reactions 🤔
Feeling emotions is human. Mental strength is learning how to respond wisely instead of reacting impulsively.

5. Stay calm during chaos 🔥
Anyone can stay peaceful when life is easy. True strength is remaining steady when everything around you feels unstable.

6. Stop taking everything personally 😅
Most people act from their own wounds, fears, stress, and insecurities. Not every behavior is truly about you.

7. Walk away from toxic people without guilt 🏃‍➡️
Protecting your peace is not selfish. Some people only enter your life to disturb your mental health and drain your energy.

8. Focus on solutions instead of staying trapped in problems 📝
A strong mind asks: “What can I do now?” instead of endlessly replaying what went wrong.

The strongest person is not the one who conquers others, but the one who conquers their own mind.

No matter what you may be faced with in life, know Your Self!
No matter what someone might do to you or against you, see Your Self!
No matter how many times you try and fail, or fail to try, accept Your Self!
No matter whose company you are in or what ability they have the to give to you or take away from you, be Your Self!

Text from: "Until Today!" by Iyanla Vanzant

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