05/09/2026
Wrapping up some of my thoughts from this week's engagement in Singapore of trainings, coaching and sessions! 🔥
𝗙𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗥𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗪𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗶𝗼𝗿 — 𝗶𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝗮 𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗵, 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗮 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗲 𝘄𝗲 𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗮𝘁.
Recently, I found myself reflecting again on my work, my focus and my “why”.
I thought about the parents, boys and men I interact with every day—and I tried to capture the heart of this work in a visual.
Some of you may already have heard my “From Rat to Warrior” story. As I reflected more deeply, I realised how many of us are still caught in the rat race.
Some silently accept it as their fate.
Some are trying desperately to break free.
Some may not even realise that they are trapped.
And I include myself in this.
I don’t believe I have already “arrived” at the warrior state. It is an ongoing journey. At any time, I can slip back into the rat race because it can feel comfortable, rewarding and safe. The warrior path requires us to keep recognising, questioning and choosing how we want to live.
I also thought about my work with boys.
Many of the boys I coach are still in the early stages of being trained and prepared for the rat race—to be compliant, obedient, productive and able to follow the rules of the system.
Is there value in this training and grind?
Looking back on my own journey, I would say yes.
It helped me develop discipline, persistence, an analytical mind, and the logical and practical skills needed to survive in the real world. Even on the warrior path, we still need to navigate responsibilities, work and economic realities.
But our boys need more than preparation to perform.
They need to know that their worth is greater than their grades, achievements and productivity. They need opportunities to recognise what is shaping them, discover what they stand for, act on what they believe, and eventually use what they have to serve others.
This feels even more urgent today.
AI is rapidly changing the world. Things that once felt secure are becoming uncertain, artificial or even obsolete. We cannot prepare our boys for this future simply by repeating the old script:
“Earn your degree.”
“Find a good job.”
“Stay ahead.”
“Don’t fall behind.”
So, for parents, educators and youth organisations, perhaps the question is:
What are we doing differently today to have deeper conversations with our boys?
Are we only preparing them to succeed within the existing system—or are we also helping them awaken, question, choose and step into a life of courage, conviction and service?
And what about the boy who has already fallen out of the system—or given up hope before his journey has even begun?
This is the work I feel increasingly called towards: walking alongside boys, parents and men as they move from merely surviving the rat race towards discovering and living their own warrior path.
Not a perfect path.
Not an easy path.
But a path with meaning.
If you are a parent wondering how you can do things differently—and help your son discover more than just performance, achievement and grades—check out my ebook, *Raising Boys Is Different*:
👉 https://bit.ly/coachjoechan_raisingboys
Perhaps it can help you begin a different kind of conversation with your boy today.
