Awaken with Aly - Neuropsychology-informed Coaching

Almost everyone I know has hurt their relationships simply due to texting. Texting is not relating.

I'm currently leading my online 'Human Being Community' through a module on "relationality and radical responsibility".

I've been deep in my own study of these topics over the last year - largely because some of my own relationships kinda blew up during a prolonged period of ill health and emotional distress. I did not handle things well, and the fall out from that period of time left painful scars.

Whilst I am not "to blame" for what unfolded, I am definitely responsible for my lack of relationality and capacity during that time. So my latest personal goal is to develop relational mastery and much greater nervous system capacity in order to weather relational storms with more grace, humour and presence.

I lead my group from a place of total candour about my own mistakes, shadows and messy humanity, and we all learn along side each other as equals. I actively discourage any pedastalisation. I'm an imperfect being on the path, welcoming other imperfect beings on the path.

Come check us out. You can watch the first 3 recordings for free (link in bio).

In case you didn't know, I run a truly awesome bi-weekly container called The Human Being Community - which is chock full of amazing heart-warriors all choosing to do the hard work of becoming more conscious, more authentic, more expressed, more radically responsible for their own flaws and failings, more creative, and more HUMAN!

I love these people. They are my tribe. They enrich my life.

Last week someone shared about having had a beautiful new experience of being able to STAY in connection during a challenging conversation, and how a whole new depth of intimacy was unlocked, as a direct result of us doing this work together.

This is what's possible when we choose to become radically responsible for our own experience - instead of offloading it onto someone else.

Nothing thrills me more than seeing my peeps expand and evolve in this way.

I invite you to join us if your called to this work. You won't find better people to do it with. 😁

(Link in bio to join The Human being Community. 50% Scholarship discounts available for those in financial need)

Why you shouldn’t shame yourself for your triggers.

A trigger isn't evidence that you've failed, and it certainly isn't a character flaw.

Your brain can detect patterns, associations and potential threats incredibly quickly, often before you're consciously aware of what you've perceived.

When I say "the mind generates the experience", I'm not talking about conscious thought. I'm talking about the entire perceptual and predictive machinery of mind. Conscious thought is actually just one small part of the mind's activity.

Your brain can register something, interpret it, connect it with previous learning and generate a physiological response before any conscious thought appears.

So it often feels like your body reacts before your mind has a chance to respond.
We don't experience “the trigger” directly. We experience our organism's response to what it has perceived and interpreted as significant.

So shaming yourself for having an automatic response makes no sense. You need to get curious about it. Because once you notice the reaction, you have something you didn't have a moment before: Awareness.

And awareness creates the possibility of responding differently.

Compassion first. Curiosity second. Change becomes possible from there.

Most of humanity's suffering begins with our resistance to reality.

When we're lost in the movie playing in our heads, replaying the past, rehearsing the future, judging, fearing, defending, we disconnect from what's actually here. And That disconnection fuels anxiety, conflict, greed, division and the endless search for control.

Presence interrupts the cycle.

When we come back to presence, we experience life is unfolding. Our breath is breathing itself. Our heart is beating without our permission. Intelligence is moving through everything, including us.

From that place, we think more clearly, react less, create more, and connect more deeply with ourselves and each other.

Presence isn't just a personal practice. It benefits the collective by stopping delusion in its tracks. Perhaps it's one of the most radical solutions we have.

Is the sunny weather making you feel happy, or is your brain constructing an experience of “happy” in response to the weather?

Neuroscience increasingly shows that perception isn't a passive recording of reality.

Your brain is constantly interpreting sensory information through the lens of prediction, memory, context and prior experience.

Which is why the same rainy afternoon can feel miserable to one person and magical to another. It's why particular circumstances cannot ever produce a 100% reliable experience.

Your experience of the same thing shifts when your thinking and perception shifts.

The event is real - this is not about gaslighting ourselves with the notion that "everything is in your mind". But the *experience* of the event is constructed by the brain.

And when my clients deeply understand this distinction in an experiential way, it has profound implications for how they understand their emotions, stress and wellbeing.