Alliance Seminars Coaching

Faith-based Coaching on Relationships

Story By Sherri Oehme (Handwritten Note)

After a recent move, my husband and I are still working through the boxes of stuff we’ve collected along our 31-year marriage journey.

Yesterday, he pulled a small plastic tub from a moving box and laughed. It was filled with cards I’d saved—birthday wishes, anniversary blessings, notes from friends, and Mother’s Day “I love you” scrawls from my littles (now bigs) with hand-drawn pictures of me holding flowers.

I don’t treasure the pretty pictures on the front or the printed message inside. It’s the handwritten words that are special to me. Those manufactured out of the heart of the sender.

“Thanks for being the coolest Mom and my best friend!”

“You make everything I do worth doing.”

“You’re a wonderful friend, and I’m blessed to have you.”

But apparently, I’m not the only one affected by written words.

Loading our clothes into the dresser today, I found two saved pieces of paper left in a drawer on my hubby’s side. The first was a calligraphy piece I had made for him using the words from Song of Solomon 1:3-4. (Talk about steamy!)

The second was a full-page list I’d given him years ago, entitled “When I think of why I love you, it’s all about … The Little Things.” It included calling to tell me something quirky he just heard on the radio. Grocery shopping with me. Talking to me with his eyes …

He may not have saved the dozens of cards I’ve given him over the last three decades, but my written words (and God’s) meant enough to him to earn a forever spot in that drawer.

And his heart.

ACTION POINTS: Tuck a quick love note in a place where your spouse would least expect it—maybe under their pillow or in a shoe. Or spend time writing a real letter, expanding on specific reasons why you love them. You may just earn some extra real estate in your beloved’s keepsake drawer.

There is light on the other side of your challenge.

Looking forward to facilitating a workshop for Airbus' Employee Resource Group this week, as we discuss the topic, "Overcoming Conflict Avoidance." This is part of their Leading and Lifting Leadership Series.

Thank you, Dhanisha, for putting together the session description as the Culture and Engagement Manager.

Faith-based Coaching on Relationships

Story By Ed Uszynski (How I Started Loving Our Couch Again)

Sitting on couch with wife. Kids finally in bed. TV on. Peace at last.

Amy: “Tell me about your day.”

Me: “I don’t want to talk about my day. I can’t remember what happened this morning. I don’t want to remember what happened in the afternoon. I just want to sit.”

Amy: “You don’t love me.”

Evening ruined.

Tomorrow night: Wash, rinse, repeat.

Solution? Start avoiding the couch in the evening.

Been there with each other?

I used to get really angry when she’d say, “You don’t love me” or “You don’t care about me.” Are you kidding? Here’s a thousand ways I love you. A thousand more that show I care.

But then it hit me: She’s right. I don’t love her. At least not in this category.

Not if “love” means something like doing what’s best for her even if it costs me. Not if it means saving energy and time for her. Because more often than not, I wasn’t saving anything for her.

And guess what? She wasn’t loving me well either by wanting me to process the whole day when I’m finally at a spot to turn off.

It sounds stuffy, but we actually needed a communication strategy to love each other well. We needed to first talk about how and when we’re going to talk.

My take-aways included:

- Making a mental bullet-point list of a few things to share when I get home.

- Grabbing lunch more often to connect in the middle of the day instead of the end.

- Talking it out on legitimate, unhurried date nights.

- Not using every bit of energy every day on others.

- Finding out when the best “talking” times are for each other and intentionally pursuing them.

- Discussing needs and expectations with each other instead of just assuming it will happen.

To love each other well. And ruin a few less evenings on the couch.

ACTION POINTS: What’s one marital pain point that could most use a loving strategy? Mutually decide on a time to problem solve.

The seeds that you plant today, will be the harvest that grows tomorrow.

Author, Minister, and Master Certified Life Coach, Veronica Williams was humbled by the opportunity to facilitate a workshop titled, "Lessons from Life's Lemons" which is loosely based on her book, "Unless My Sister is Whole." She also signed books at the 9th Annual God Loves Our Worship (GLOW) Women's Ministry Conference, which was hosted at First Baptist Glenarden in Columbia, MD. The Unless My Sister is Whole experience could not have had a better audience of Women who were ready to embrace what each facilitator had to share.

We look forward to bringing this message of hope and healing to your next Women's organization or ministry event.

Faith-based Coaching on Relationships

Story By Sabrina McDonald (Your Half of the Apple)

A couple I saw on TV recently could compete for the illustrious title of “Cheapest Marriage.”

To save money, they showered together, timing it for five minutes to save water. He used her suds to wash his hair. They even shared the same toothbrush and floss. (Ew.)

In the kitchen, each purchased assigned foods from their separate bank accounts, and initialed items like eggs so neither would take more than half. Favorite snacks were locked in a cabinet to keep the other out.

You might say, “If it works for them, what’s the problem?”

But I wonder, at what point does it stop working?

What happens when one spouse is sick? Do they still share floss? Or if one has a car accident and needs money from the other? Will that spouse insist the money be paid back?

Money often holds a lot of power in marriage. But when you give it too much decision-making clout, it can be the demise of your relationship.

Especially in a 50/50 marriage like theirs, where score-keeping reigns. Fights ensue when one spouse feels a shift shorting their side of that deal.

I’m not saying being economical is wrong. I’m a self-proclaimed penny pincher.

But I am saying when you start labeling eggs, locking up treats, or drawing lines of perfect equality, you’ve probably gone too far.

The Bible teaches us to live generously. Jesus said it is more blessed to give than to receive (Acts 20:35). He also said, if we give generously, then God will also give to us generously (Luke 6:38). And what better place to practice generosity than with your spouse?

For starters, we can stop keeping score—opting to wholly love our spouse, rather than basing it on the level we feel we receive.

A generous marriage can still pinch pennies, but it doesn’t ask, “Did I get my half of the apple?” Instead, it offers the whole apple out of love.

ACTION POINTS: Does the 50/50 standard guide your marriage? Consider how it may be hurting a spirit of generosity in your marriage. What would a spirit of generosity toward your spouse look like?

Hang in there, the results will be worth it.

Excited to play a role in the 2026 Armed Forces Communications and Electronics Association (AFCEA) conference in Baltimore. AFCEA’s TechNet Cyber conference is a premier event that brings together government leaders, industry experts, and academics to tackle global security challenges and thrive in a digital world. It’s where policy, strategy, operations, and Command & Control come together with joint capabilities to create real solutions. Professionals will join discussions led by U.S. Cyber Command, DISA, the DoD CIO, and many partners from industry and academia, all working toward this vital, no-fail mission.

Faith-based Coaching on Relationships

Story By Lisa Lakey (One of Us Is a Fantastic Spouse; Hint, It's Me)

I was so proud of myself.

On my day off, I had managed to clean most of the house, the kids were in great moods, and the air was thick with the savory aroma of the dinner I had prepared. Surely, by the end of the day I’d at least be getting a certificate for my wifely achievements.

But I’d have to hold off on the speech I’d prepared. Because my dear husband meandered through the door at 6:00, blaring the news of his day. He, too, had been super-productive and awesome.

Then he planted a kiss on my cheek as he walked by to go clean up before dinner.

Don’t get me wrong, I was proud of my handsome hubby. But …

What about me?!

Ever feel that way? I’m a fairly introverted person, so needing heaps of attention and recognition doesn’t plague me often. Except when it comes to my spouse.

Especially when I’m insecure, I need to be reassured my hubby still thinks I’m worth having around.

And when I don’t hear those words of affirmation? I feel slighted. I start puffing myself up to something I’m definitely not being in that moment—a fantastic (and maybe superior) spouse.

Second Corinthians 12:9 reminds me, ”But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

On the days where I screw everything up, I have to remind myself my worth doesn’t fade with my mistakes.

But on my better days? I have to remind myself my worth isn’t increased with my deeds.

And thankfully, my husband forgives my mistakes, too. Like when I depend too much on his affirmation.

And when I think a little too highly of myself.

ACTION POINTS: Instead of thinking of all the things you do for your spouse today, list two things they do to serve you selflessly. Make a point to thank them for it.