Alliance Seminars Coaching

Faith-based Coaching on Relationships

Story by Leigh Jackson Harper (The Joy Hunters)

I was so tempted to groan and roll my eyes when my watermelon rind hit the trash can with a thud.

Yes, my husband had taken out the trash (thanks, Honey!). But once again, he’d forgotten to put the new bag inside the can (sigh). Across the kitchen, he was scrolling on his phone.



I took a beat, exhaled, realized he had just finished a 12-hour shift. The fact that he’d taken out the trash at all was helpful. I was glad he had a few minutes to unwind.

By default, I lean toward discontentment. Add social media (hello, highlight rolls and envy), stress, and sin into the mix, and any of us plummet downhill even faster.

How can we find joy and be content with our spouse and the marriage God has given us?

We’ve all heard the saying, What you water will grow.

We water marriage’s joy when choosing the 30,000-foot view, focusing on all of the loving and helpful things our spouse does to serve our family.

Practically, this looks like choosing to celebrate his or her commitment to excellence in their job. Acknowledging God’s provision through that job instead of becoming frustrated when an occasional meeting doesn’t wrap up on time, disrupting evening plans at home.

It looks like appreciating your spouse’s partnership in household chores (I’m looking at you, inefficiently loaded dishwasher).

It looks like remembering how full his or her plate is, offering gentle forgiveness when that bill isn’t paid on time.

Choosing to be thankful instead of critical is step one. But you’ll find even more joy in your marriage when you vocalize that appreciation.

When your spouse steps in the door after that late meeting, remind her with a hug how thankful you are for her dedication to her career.

When one of you accidentally shrinks a shirt in the dryer that should have been air-dried, communicate your appreciation for doing a load of laundry anyway.

Joy is there. Your perspective can uncover it!

ACTION POINTS:

- Practice the pause. The next time your spouse does something that stirs irritation, take a moment to consider the 99 things they’ve done well before this one thing irked you.

- Speak life. Aim to tell your spouse at least one thing each day that you appreciate about him or her.

- Pray. Ask God to give you eyes that see all of the sacrificial ways your spouse is choosing to love and serve.

Protect your inner circle.

🙏🏽 THANK YOU, TRANSFORMING LIFE CHURCH OF GOD! 🙏🏽

What an incredible blessing and privilege it was to facilitate the “Feeding the Sheep” Leadership Workshop for Transforming Life Church of God and Pastor Dave Biggers!

Thank you, Pastor Biggers, and the entire Transforming Life Church family for opening your hearts, your church, and your leadership team to this important conversation about what it truly means to serve, lead, and feed God’s people.

Together, we explored nine powerful ways leaders can feed the sheep.

Leadership in the Kingdom is not simply about having a position—it is about accepting the responsibility to serve people well.

When we lead with grace, humility, compassion, love, faithfulness, and preparation, we create environments where people can grow, heal, serve, and fulfill their God-given purpose.

Thank you, Pastor Dave Biggers and Transforming Life Church of God, for allowing me to share this message and for trusting me to facilitate this meaningful leadership experience.

May we continue to FEED THE SHEEP, SERVE THE PEOPLE, AND GLORIFY GOD! 🙏🏽🐑❤️

Faith-based Coaching on Relationships

Story By Carlos Santiago (The Real Enemy)

Two weeks into our parenting journey, somehow my wife’s way of changing a diaper was right. Mine was wrong.

I had just as much experience as she did, but it didn’t seem to matter. I felt I would never measure up to “Mommy.”

I spitefully questioned whether I should just let her take over diaper duty.

Around that time, I was reminded of James 4:1-11. He says fights are caused because “you desire and do not have” and “you covet and cannot obtain” (verse 2).

James was right.

Our conflict wasn’t about the “right way to change a diaper.”

I desired respect I felt I didn’t have. I coveted the high status bestowed upon mothers. I feared my role as a father would soon be downgraded to financial provider, playmate, and occasional babysitter.

I didn’t want that.

The thing is, neither did she.

My wife wasn’t trying to dominate me or downgrade my role as a father. She simply wanted to share a trick to make both of our lives easier.

By turning parenting into a competition, I stopped assuming the best and started assuming the worst.

Over the years, we’ve had to learn to look beyond our gut reactions and uncover the hidden desires that fuel conflict. When we do, it’s easier to realize my spouse is not the enemy.

We still have very different ways of doing things. We still disagree. But now I assume we’re on the same team.

Together, we fight the problem. Not each other.

ACTION POINTS: In what ways might you and your spouse be fighting against, rather than for, each other? The next job (or argument) you have to tackle together, consider the source.

Sometimes it is good to bloom where you are planted.

📚✨ COME MEET AUTHOR VERONICA WILLIAMS! ✨📚

Author and Master Certified Life Coach Veronica Williams is excited to be a vendor at the August Quarterly Festival! She will have copies of her book available for purchase and would love to connect with you, share her message, and introduce you to the movement behind her work.

📅 Saturday, August 29, 2026
⏰ 12:00 PM – 4:00 PM
📍 Tubman-Garrett Riverfront Park
20 Rosa Parks Drive
Wilmington, DE

Bring a friend and come experience this monumental event! Be sure to stop by Veronica’s table and discover why readers are connecting with:

📖 Unless My Sister Is Whole: Lessons from Life’s Lemons

This powerful book delivers a message of hope, healing, restoration, and purpose for women navigating life's challenges.

We look forward to seeing you there! Stop by, say hello, grab your copy, and become part of the Unless My Sister Is Whole movement! 💜📚

Faith-based Coaching on Relationships

Story By Judy Burrows (The Problem with Concrete)

I hit the driveway hard.

I’d lost my balance on the sidewalk and attempted to regain it. My brain was yelling to my feet, “Do your job!”

The downward slope of the sidewalk spoke louder.

You even managed to hit your head. That was my first thought as I lay on the driveway.

Then I heard my husband's voice, heavy with compassion. "Oh, honey..."

I was not in any hurry to rise. Something felt wrong. The fall felt traumatic. Cement is really hard, my brain harped. Not one bit of grace to it.

As my husband darted to my side, there was comfort: He knew where I was. I wasn’t alone. I wouldn’t have to yell for someone's attention.

My feet had failed me. But my husband did not. He supported my weight back into the house.

Turns out my brain wasn’t wrong. X-rays showed a broken pelvis.

Suddenly bedridden, something deeper than my bones felt horribly fractured. Somewhere in the week after, as I stretched the wrong way in pain and tears, I told my husband, “I really feel broken.”

Truthfully, because of sin—that’s always my condition. But I don’t always feel it.

A big reason for that? A husband who’s acquired a significant tenderness. I think of him as a grace-partner: Someone absorbing my weakness—my frailty, or just plain sin.

He yields a lot more than concrete, providing a soft landing for my constant missteps. Which means in the end, a lot less gets broken.

Thankfully, my pelvis is one whole piece again. I carry no evidence of that humbling afternoon.

But I want to have more give with others, with my husband—a cushion for the ways our bodies and souls fail, absorbing each others’ failings with kindness neither of us deserve.

ACTION POINTS: Life is hard like cement sometimes. How can you give your spouse grace today? Grace has a give to it. Where does your spouse need some give in his/her life right now?

Don't be a movie extra in the story of your own life.

As a Presidential Service Badge recipient, I look forward to joining other WHCA Alumni during this event and hearing about their stories of supporting such a meaningful mission, during their military service.

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"The No-Fail Mission" Volume II, written by Anthony Knopps, launches September 15th at the Army and Navy Club, and will showcase some real American heroes.

The book, which will also be available for purchase at the event, profiles 13 military men and women who served the Office of the President. Lunch will be served and you'll also have a chance to participate in a wide-ranging discussion about the importance of service.

Luncheon tickets are going fast, so order yours here (and even if you can't make it, feel free to make a donation to support the event):

https://jstreetgroup.ticketspice.com/no-fail-mission-vol-ii-book-launch

Faith-based Coaching on Relationships

Story By Sabrina McDonald (Marriage Colored Outside the Lines)

I used to be particular about doing things my way. I got easily annoyed by messes left on the counter or towels folded the “wrong” way. To me, people who said, “color outside the lines” were just lazy.

But that was before the death of my first husband.

I look back at the energy I wasted on worry and perfection, and I’m sorry I often let those outward, unimportant issues control my emotions.

There were times I hurt my husband over petty particulars that didn’t matter in the long run.

I’ve wondered what changes he would see in me if he came back for one day. Would he find the same person he left? In some ways, yes, but in other ways, no.

One change would be my pursuit of perfection. I now see it’s not worth fussing over. Instead, I’d rather express how proud I am of my husband’s efforts.

Another change would be that I’m no longer motivated to do things just because I “ought to.” I still get things done, but I give myself more grace.

For example, cuddling a little longer on Saturday morning is more important than getting all the chores done early in the day. And splurging a little now and then is more important than saving every single penny.

Now in my second marriage, I spend less time worrying about things done the “right” way.

I’m so hard-headed that it takes something devastating to teach me a lesson, but I’m thankful I learned.

Take it from me: Stop controlling every variable in your life. Not everything has to fit your definition of “perfect.” Life (and marriage) can still be beautiful even when colored outside the lines.

ACTION POINTS: Is control making your marriage miserable? What are some rigid rules you can change? How can you extend more grace to your spouse? Make a list of your spouse’s “imperfect” qualities. Which ones can you let go of?