Beth Bailey Coaching

Yesterday’s class win wasn’t a better invert.

It wasn’t a prettier shape.

It wasn’t holding a move longer.

It was wearing my new sports bra.

And yes, I crocheted it myself. 🥹

I was SO proud of it.

But I almost wore a tank top over it.

Because my belly would be exposed.

The last time I wore just a sports bra to pole, I was about 40 pounds lighter and a lot stronger.

So my brain had plenty to say:

“Maybe don't.”

“You don't look like you did then.”

“People are going to notice.”

But I realized something:

I didn't want to spend the entire class hiding something I was actually really proud of.

So I wore the damn top.

And you know what?

It was comfortable.

I felt cute.

And I felt brave.

Not because I suddenly stopped caring what anyone thought.

But because I was willing to be vulnerable even though I did care.

And that felt like a much bigger win than anything I could have seen in the mirror.

This is what Comparison Detox is teaching me, too:

Sometimes progress isn't about what your body can DO.

Sometimes it's about how much more at home you feel in the body you're doing it in.

My body is different than it was 40 pounds ago.

That's okay.

I don't have to wait until I'm smaller, stronger, or “back to where I was” to wear the things I love.

I get to be proud of this body now.

And maybe that's your class win this week, too.

Not the trick.

Not the shape.

Not the video.

Just one moment where you let yourself take up space without trying to earn the right to be there.

That's progress.

Pattern is The Everyday Crop Top by Evelyn Burttram

This is the comparison shift I want you to practice this week: praise her without punishing yourself.
It’s so easy to see another dancer do something incredible and immediately turn it into evidence against yourself:
“She’s amazing.”
“I’m terrible.”
But what if you stopped at the first sentence?
She’s amazing.
Period.
You don't have to add “therefore I suck.”
In fact, try taking it one step further:
“She’s amazing. And that means this level of strength, control, flexibility, or confidence is possible for a human body—including mine.”
Her ability doesn't take anything away from yours.
Her progress isn't proof that you're behind.
Her beautiful trick doesn't make your current trick less impressive.
And you don't have to diminish yourself in order to celebrate her.
This is one of the biggest shifts in Comparison Detox:
Admiration doesn't have to become self-criticism.
The next time you catch yourself thinking:
“She’s so good. I’ll never be that good.”
Try:
“She’s so good. What can I learn from what I’m seeing?”
Maybe you notice her strength.
Her technique.
Her patience.
Her confidence.
Her consistency.
Let her progress expand your idea of what’s possible instead of shrinking your opinion of yourself.
And honestly? This is something we can work on in coaching, too.
Because sometimes the hard part isn't knowing that comparison isn't helpful.
It's learning how to catch that automatic “she's better → I'm worse” thought before it takes over.
You can admire someone else without abandoning yourself.
So today, find one dancer you genuinely admire.
Praise her.
Then remind yourself:
“Her ability is evidence of what’s possible—not evidence of what I'm lacking.”
That's your Comparison Detox practice. 🖤

You’re comparing your pole journey to someone else’s highlight reel.

You see the gorgeous Iron X.

The effortless-looking split.

The beautiful flow.

The trick that makes you think, “How the hell does she make that look so easy?”

And then you look at yourself and think:

“I should be further along.”

But what you don’t see is everything that happened before that 10-second clip.

The boring conditioning.

The core work.

The flexibility training.

The grip training.

The endless attempts that didn't work.

The bruises.

The sore muscles.

The days they didn't feel strong.

The years of practice that happened completely off camera.

You’re seeing the result. Not the receipts.

And this is one of the biggest traps with social media:

We compare our entire messy process to someone else's most polished moment.

Of course we feel behind.

So the next time you see someone pull off an incredible move, try this:

Instead of “Why can't I do that?”

Ask:

“I wonder what work went into making that possible?”

And then bring your attention back to your own work.

Because your Page 20 isn't supposed to look like someone else's Page 100.

And if the comparison isn't just affecting your pole skills—but the way you see yourself, your body, or your worth—that's the deeper work I help my coaching clients unpack.

You don't need to become less ambitious.

You need to stop using someone else's highlight reel as evidence that you're failing.

Admire the trick. Respect the work. Then get back to your own pole.

What if your jealousy is actually trying to help you?

You see someone nail a move you've been dreaming about.

And that little voice says:

“Ugh. I’m jealous.”

Maybe you feel embarrassed that you want what they have.

Maybe you immediately try to shut the feeling down.

But what if you paused instead?

Because envy isn't a moral failure.

It can be a compass.

Sometimes that pang of jealousy is your brain pointing toward something you deeply want—but haven't given yourself permission to pursue yet.

You see her confidence and think:

“I wish I could move like that.”

Maybe you want more confidence.

You see her beautiful flexibility and think:

“I want that so badly.”

Maybe you want to explore flexibility.

You see her finally nail the move you've been working toward and think:

“Must be nice.”

Maybe what you're really feeling is:

“I want that too.”

That's useful information.

Instead of making the feeling mean:

❌ “I'm a jealous person.”

Try:

“What is this envy showing me that I want?”

Then get curious.

Do you want the move?

The strength?

The confidence?

The attention?

The freedom?

The feeling of finally being proud of yourself?

You don't have to shame yourself for wanting something.

And you don't have to take anything away from her to want it for yourself.

Her success can be evidence that something is possible—not evidence that you're behind.

So the next time jealousy shows up at the studio, don't immediately push it away.

Listen to it.

Your envy might just be pointing toward the next thing you're ready to give yourself permission to pursue.

👇 Tell me: What has someone else’s pole journey made you realize you want for YOURS?

👀 EYES ON YOUR OWN POLE.

Okay, pole dancers. It’s time for your first Comparison Detox challenge.

For ONE WEEK, we’re taking our eyes off everyone else’s progress and putting them back on our own.

Because during class, it’s so easy to look around and think:

“She’s stronger than me.”

“She’s already got that trick.”

“Why can’t my body do that?”

“I should be further along.”

Not this week.

This week, your only job is to pay attention to YOU.

Your strength.

Your grip.

Your flexibility.

Your confidence.

Your progress.

Your tiny wins.

And yes—even the things that don't work yet.

Because you can't accurately measure your own progress while constantly looking at someone else's.

Your challenge:

At your next class, keep your eyes on your own pole.

When you catch yourself comparing, gently bring your attention back and ask:

“What is MY body doing right now?”

Then look for one thing that is improving.

Maybe your hold lasted one second longer.

Maybe your climb felt smoother.

Maybe you trusted your body a little more.

Maybe you tried something that scared you.

It all counts.

And I want you to make it official.

👇 Drop “I’M IN” in the comments if you’re taking the Eyes on Your Own Pole pledge for one week.

No competing.

No ranking.

No keeping score.

Just one week of seeing what happens when you stop looking sideways…

…and start noticing how far you have come.

Your Instagram feed should not be a daily confidence test.

Let’s talk about something you can control during Comparison Detox Month:

What you’re allowing into your brain.

Because you can spend 30 seconds scrolling Instagram and suddenly you’re thinking:

“Why can’t I do that?”

“Her body looks so much better than mine.”

“Everyone is progressing except me.”

“Maybe I’m just not good enough at pole.”

And then you close the app feeling worse than when you opened it.

So today, I want you to do a Social Media Audit.

Go through the pole accounts you follow and pay attention to how you feel after seeing their content.

Ask yourself:

Does this account leave me feeling…

✨ Inspired?

✨ Encouraged?

✨ Curious?

✨ Excited to practice?

OR…

😬 Ashamed?

😔 Behind?

😣 Not good enough?

🙄 Obsessed with what my body can't do?

Here’s the important part:

You do not have to follow someone just because they’re talented.

You can admire someone’s pole skills AND recognize that their content isn't good for your mental health right now.

Mute them.

Unfollow them.

Take a break.

Whatever gives your brain some breathing room.

That isn't petty.

It isn't jealousy.

And it doesn't mean you don't support other dancers.

It means you're curating your environment.

Think of your feed like your studio space.

You wouldn't intentionally fill your studio with people yelling, “You're behind! You're not flexible enough! You're not strong enough!”

So why let your phone do it?

Your feed should have room for people who make you think:

“I want to play.”

“I want to learn.”

“I want to celebrate what my body can do.”

Not:

“I need to be more like her.”

This week, audit your feed.

You don't need to delete half your following list.

Just start with 3 accounts that consistently trigger comparison.

Mute or unfollow them.

Then notice how your scrolling—and your brain—feels afterward.

Your attention is yours. Protect it.

I didn’t go to pole class yesterday. And my brain had A LOT to say about it.

I’d just gotten home from a trip where I spent a week helping with a huge yard sale. There was tons of prep, I moved boxes more times than I care to count, and then I got up at 4:00 AM for my flight home.

By yesterday, I was exhausted.

My body needed rest.

So I rested.

And immediately, my brain started yelling:

“You shouldn’t need this much rest.”

“Other people aren’t resting.”

“They probably would have gone to class.”

“If you were really dedicated, you would have gone.”

Oof.

That’s the Comparison Trap, too.

I wasn’t comparing my pole skills to someone else’s.

I was comparing my effort to an imaginary version of what everyone else was doing.

And then using that comparison to question whether I was dedicated enough.

But here’s the truth:

Rest does not mean I’m less committed to pole.

Someone else going to class has nothing to do with what my body needed yesterday.

My body wasn't asking me to try harder.

It was asking me to recover.

Listening to that doesn’t make me lazy.

It makes me human.

So yesterday, I chose rest—even while my brain told me I shouldn't.

And honestly? That feels like progress, too.

Because sometimes Comparison Detox means putting down the imaginary scoreboard and asking:

“What does MY body need today?”

Not what she needs.

Not what everyone else is doing.

What do I need?

That’s your practice today.

You might be comparing your Page 1 to someone else’s Page 100.

And then wondering why you feel so far behind.

You walk into the studio and see someone effortlessly invert.

Someone else has a gorgeous split.

Another person picks up a new trick like it’s nothing.

And your brain says:

“I should be better by now.”

But here’s what you can’t see from across the studio:

You don’t know where they actually started.

Their “Day 1” might have included:

→ 10 years of gymnastics
→ A background in dance
→ Circus training
→ Years of strength training
→ A body that naturally moves differently
→ Previous experience with aerials or acrobatics

And maybe your Day 1 looked like…

Starting from zero.

Coming back after a two-year hiatus.

Rebuilding strength after time away.

Learning how to trust your body again.

Or simply figuring out what the hell a fireman spin is supposed to feel like. 😂

Those are not the same starting lines.

So why are you using the other person’s current chapter to judge your own?

You are looking at their Page 100…

…and calling your Page 1 a failure.

Nope.

Your timeline is allowed to be different.

Your progress is allowed to be slower.

Your body is allowed to need something different.

And starting over doesn't erase everything you learned before.

So the next time comparison whispers:

“She’s so much further ahead than me.”

Try asking:

“Am I actually behind… or am I just on a different page?”

Then look backward.

What can you do today that your own Page 1 self couldn’t?

That’s the comparison that matters.

Your pole journey isn't a race to someone else’s finish line.

It’s a story you’re still writing.

Today, go find one piece of evidence that you’ve grown.

That’s your Comparison Detox practice. 🖤

We've spent the last 30 days talking about your brain.

Not because your brain is the enemy.

Because understanding it changes everything.

This month, we learned that your primitive brain has three main jobs:

✨ Seek Pleasure
"Give me the quick reward."

✨ Avoid Pain
"Don't do anything uncomfortable."

✨ Conserve Energy
"Stick with what you already know."

None of these drivers are bad.

In fact, they've helped humans survive for thousands of years.

The problem is...

They don't always help us become the person we want to be.

So let's do a Brain Audit.

Think back over the last month.

Which driver trips you up the most?

🤍 Pleasure
Do you find yourself choosing the quick dopamine hit instead of the long-term reward?

🤍 Pain
Do you avoid trying new moves because you're afraid of failing, looking silly, or getting it wrong?

🤍 Energy
Do you keep putting things off because your brain wants the familiar path instead of the effort of building a new one?

For me...

My biggest challenge is Conserve Energy.

When I'm tired or overwhelmed, my brain becomes incredibly persuasive.

"Skip conditioning today."

"You've got time before the showcase."

"You'll be more motivated tomorrow."

I've learned those thoughts don't mean I can't do it.

They mean my brain is doing its job.

Now it's my job to decide what happens next.

That's the biggest lesson I've learned this month.

Awareness comes first.

Change comes second.

And that's exactly why coaching works.

A coach can't stop your brain from doing what brains do.

But they can help you recognize the pattern before it becomes your decision.

So here's my challenge for you:

Which driver has been running the show in your life?

👇 Comment with just one word:

Pleasure

Pain

or

Energy

No judgment.

Just awareness.

Because once you know what's driving you...

You can finally choose a different direction.

And that's where real change begins.

Do you know who hires coaches?

Olympic athletes.

Professional dancers.

CEOs.

Entrepreneurs.

Top performers in almost every field.

Not because they're broken.

Because they understand something most people don't.

You can't always see your own blind spots.

All month we've talked about the brain.

How it wants to:

🧠 Seek pleasure.

🧠 Avoid pain.

🧠 Conserve energy.

None of those things make you weak.

They make you human.

The challenge is that your brain is trying to help you survive...

While you're trying to grow.

Sometimes those two goals don't agree.

Your brain says:

"Don't perform. You might embarrass yourself."

Your dream says:

"Get on the stage."

Your brain says:

"Skip conditioning. You're tired."

Your goal says:

"October is coming."

Your brain says:

"Stay where you're comfortable."

Your heart says:

"There's more for me than this."

That's where a coach comes in.

Not to tell you what to do.

Not to cheerlead from the sidelines.

And definitely not because you need to be "fixed."

A coach is a strategic partner.

Someone who notices the patterns you can't see.

Someone who asks the questions your brain would rather avoid.

Someone who reminds you of the goal you chose before fear started negotiating.

Because here's the truth...

I have a coach.

Most high performers have coaches.

Not because they've failed.

Because they know that growth is hard to see from the inside.

You can't read the label from inside the bottle.

And you can't always recognize your own thinking while you're in the middle of it.

Sometimes you need someone to hold up the mirror.

To help you separate:

"This is a real limitation."

From:

"This is my brain trying to keep everything familiar."

That's the return on investment.

Not just learning a new skill.

Learning how to lead yourself.

Because when you learn to work with your brain instead of automatically obeying every fearful thought...

Everything changes.

🧠 If you had someone in your corner who challenged your thinking instead of your worth, what goal would you finally go after?