Micah Lambert: Men's Relationship Coach

Go softly into the night.

The easiest way to keep a relationship strong is turning towards your partner.
The act of turning toward builds affection and a sense of teamwork, which helps strengthen the foundation of a lasting relationship.

In the Gottman lab study, the couples who stayed together for at least six years turned toward each other 86% of the time. Those who got divorced only did it 33% of the time.

What a smiple task to keep it strong.

You have to properly grieve and feeling your feelings is the way to start.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

People pleasing.

If there is anything that screams toxic masculinity, this is it.

Do you know how to say no?

As boys and young men we are taught to go along to get along.
Don't make waves.
Be agreeable.

Then, we get out in the world and we are told to make big moves!
Make waves!
Grind!

How confusing.

What if there was a way to have a true understanding of how you show up in this world?

What if someone gave you the tools to show up how you want and get what you want out of this life?

What if it was as easy as having a mentor, a coach that would walk you through the things that you know you don't know?

If you have had it with online dating or hit a wall in your relationship, reach out.

I want to show you a way to get what you want.

9 ways to nurture your relationships.

1. Value and cultivate the relationships in which you can be both imperfect and loved.

2. Stay connected. It takes effort to connect with people amidst a busy life, but taking the time to visit, have people over or send a thoughtful text is beneficial in the long run.

3. Take a risk with someone you trust and share about your struggles. Be vulnerable and ask them to just listen and understand.

4. Remember that no human interactions are perfect. It is a process of "Tear and Repair" to preserve your relationships.

5. Share something beautiful, especially if it doesn't cost anything, with someone else.

6. Calming yourself down takes a lot of energy. Calming yourself down with the help of someone you trust takes a lot less energy. We exist in relation to other people. Without talking about relationships, we miss one wall that's holding the roof up. If you want to be mentally healthy, you should have some good friends.

7. Have realistic expectations about your romantic relationships, friendships, family connections, etc. and establish clear personal boundaries regarding what is reasonable.

8. Take time for yourself as individuals and as a couple. Plan date nights, take a yoga class once a week, go for a walk, etc. Make time for the activities you enjoy and for activities that help you feel closer to your partner or spouse.

9. If your relationships are experiencing some road bumps, consider seeking therapy or coaching. Coaching has shown to improve and strengthen a persons relationships, but success depends on when they come in.

Good question.

When you first start dating someone, you might be on the lookout for signs that this might not be a great fit. It makes sense, we’ve all been hurt before, and we want to cut our losses before getting too invested.

All too often we’re so busy focusing on these red flags and putting our emotional guard up that we fail to pay attention to the good signs to keep an eye out for.

That’s not to say that you should gloss over negative actions or traits, because if you do, you will likely end up brokenhearted or in a relationship that isn’t healthy for you.

Still, there are also what I like to call green lights that we should look out for when finding and evaluating a potential partner. This is deeper than simply determining that “they’re nice” or “they’re great at picking restaurants.” It’s about emotional compatibility and the ways in which a person might be right for you, specifically.
Think about what works for you, both in your past relationships and friendships.

Is it the way someone listens to you?
The way they always know just what you need after a long day?

It’s also a good idea to tune into the ways that you show love to others, as that often provides good clues to how you like to be loved. By answering these questions, you pinpoint exactly what you are looking for and become better equipped to choose a good partner.

I believe that these five things can be a good place to start...
1. They’re an open communicator.
If you’re going to spend a significant amount of time with someone, they need to be willing to tell you how they’re feeling and help you process your emotions as well. A good indicator that someone is worth pursuing is that they can respectfully share their opinions or feelings about something and you, in turn, can offer the same back to them.

A good communicator will leave you walking away from an interaction feeling better about the situation or argument, not worse. This builds emotional intimacy, which is the backbone of all healthy and happy relationships.

2. They encourage your other relationships.
Friends and family are a huge part of your life, and anyone you’re dating should respect that. It's important to maintain your other relationships.
One of the first signs of abuse is a partner trying to isolate you from your friends and family.

3. They’re supportive of your career and goals.
Someone being generally supportive of you is a bright green light. They encourage your dreams, help you make plans for the future, and are genuinely happy for you when you succeed.
This is usually a sign of a secure partner, It shows that you can be in a relationship with this person and keep thriving in other parts of your life, as well.

4. Your core beliefs are complementary.
We often make concessions for people, hoping they’ll come around to our way of thinking. But, in most cases, this won’t happen. So when your core beliefs align with those of the person you’re dating, it’s a major positive.
Your core beliefs can range from religious beliefs to a preference for monogamy (or non-monogamy) to a desire to have a long-term relationship (or a causal relationship) to whether or not you want children someday.

Core beliefs are really important, because without sharing key values, the relationship may be unsustainable.

5. Know your personal attachment style.
Most of us give love the way we want to receive it. It’s just a natural thing. If being touched and snuggled makes you feel loved, you’ll likely want to touch and snuggle someone to show them your love. The problem is that the people we date don’t always welcome love in the same ways we do.

If we can learn our own style, then we can communicate that to our partner and find ways to show and receive love.
Perhaps more than anything else, you should feel good when you spend time with someone you’re dating. They should make you feel excited, happy, and positive about yourself.
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If you would like to learn more about how to read green flags and have the relationship of your dreams, contact me and we can set up a discovery call.

It's not always about your relationship with others.

Often times, it is the relationship with yourself that needs the work.

Schedule a call and let's get you what you want out of this life!

Sometimes we fall in love when we are most vulnerable .. not when we are most happy.

People can fall in love when they share a common story .. a common pain.

They can bond over a deeply life-changing experience.

They can see and feel the tenderness and care as they show the parts of themselves that they don’t know how to love.

Some of us have done so much self-healing .. we are ready .. but we are scared.

And that is okay.
It is okay to be scared.

I think we have to let go of the idea that we have to be whole or complete before we can be ready to love.

I don't think that you can ever get there.

We absolutely do want to be working on our healing and tending to our wounded parts.

We want to have some sense of boundaries in place so that we don’t fall for someone who manipulates us or is genuinely harmful.
But sometimes a relationship becomes the mirror we need to help us actually see what we need to work on.

To risk getting inside the messy, beautiful, and painful parts of love that can only happen when we fully immerse ourselves inside of it can be the greatest teacher we can get.

We are allowed to learn how to love along the way.

We are allowed to have someone help us become better at loving through their mere presence.

In fact, I really can’t imagine learning any other way.

The change is lasting.

Once you get the basic principles of the method, they stick with you for life.

The men that have learned the method from me are living the lives that they want.

Are you ready?

Contact me and let's get you the life that you want.
Just click on the link in the comments.

You want to be happy.
You want to be loved.
You just want a little respect.

What's holding you back?

It's probably not what you think it is.
Get curios, set up a call with me and let's find out.