Functional Wellness by Meg

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Functional Wellness by Meg

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🥬 Helping working moms lose 10-20+ lbs
⚡️ Root-cause labs + realistic nutrition
🧬 Coached 350+ women | Ph.D. | IHP L2
👇 3-min Metabolism Audit: https://forms.gle/skQg8srJzUrnxTrf8

11/03/2026

The phrase that comes up in nearly every DM at some point: “yeah my doctor said my bloodwork looked normal.”

But deep down, you knew things weren’t normal. Bc the weight was stuck, and you felt like crap.

If you’re on the fence about the Perimenopause Metabolism Protocol, here’s the one thing you need to know...

The most powerful part of this program is the labs.

Not the basic bloodwork your doctor runs once a year, and then tells you “everything looks fine”.

Comprehensive functional medicine labs that show what’s actually going on inside your body.

Depending on your symptoms, I typically bundle 3 of these:

✔️ Gut Zoomer
✔️ Organic Acids
✔️ Hormone Zoomer
✔️ Toxins Zoomer
✔️ Minerals & Metals (HTMA)

Plus comprehensive bloodwork if you need it.

Then we sit down together on a lab review call, and I walk you through every result in plain English, along with the action steps you need to take.

Not in 15 min either 😂 this lab review is typically a 1-hour call.

Because “your labs look normal” while you’re exhausted, bloated, and gaining weight?

That’s not an answer. And you’ll never hear it from me.

(Or the other one... “it’s just a part of getting older”.)

This is the part that changed everything for me. And it’s the part my clients say they wish they’d done years ago.

The lab bundle is not an add-on. It’s the foundation of this program.

BTW... This isn’t a “log in and figure it out yourself” online course. It’s a comprehensive, “let’s find out what’s wrong and fix it together” energy.

I’ve helped over 350 women in the last four years. This founding round is limited to just 8, so you get a high touch, personalized protocol.

Here’s what you get as a founding member:

👉 THE RIGHT functional labs, to answer what’s actually going on and causing your symptoms (I typically bundle 3 labs together)

👉 A plan, 100% personalized to YOU, to help you begin to target those symptoms and feel relief asap

👉 Support the entire way, via 1:1 messaging directly with me, so you never feel confused or stuck

Founding member BONUS 🤑 Starting TODAY through Nov 10th, save $500+ on the program.

Take advantage of the $ discount.
Comment INFO below👇 for details.

11/02/2026

Out of the last 5 clients I onboarded… they were ALL doing the same thing to try to lose weight. And it wasn’t working 🤪 (hence why they joined my program…)

Here’s what they were doing:
Eating less and working out more. 🫠

I get it. It worked in your 20s. Or when you first tried to lose weight.

But right now your body is already stressed. Shifting hormones, broken sleep, a to-do list that never ends.

Add under-eating and over-training on top of that, and your body reads it as “we’re not SAFE... hold onto every EXTRA CALORIE.”

So you’re HANGRY, exhausted, snapping at your kids, sore for days, and the scale still won’t freaking move. Then you blame yourself for not trying hard enough.

You’re trying plenty hard. It’s not for lack of effort. You’re just working harder on things that aren’t working.

In the Perimenopause Metabolism Protocol, we figure out WHY the weight isn’t budging.

Gut health? Hormones? Thyroid? Cortisol?

Then we fix the root cause, not just the symptom.

So you can eat real food without feeling bloated and inflamed. Work out without needing days to recover. And finally see the scale move.

Like my client who messaged me this week:

“It’s CRAZY... this is the first time I’ve seen the scale move since last January. And I’m not even eating less. I’m down 3 lbs this week!!!”

Doors are open for 8 founding spots, with founding pricing discounts through Nov 10th.

Comment or DM me INFO and I’ll send you the details. 👇

11/01/2026

DM me “INFO” if…

YOU MEET THE FOLLOWING CRITERIA:

✅ EXHAUSTED and stuck with belly weight that won’t budge
✅ tired of guessing and feeling HELPLESS and throwing money/energy/time at things that don’t work
✅ 𝗖𝗢𝗔𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗕𝗟𝗘 and ready to find your 𝗿𝗼𝗼𝘁 𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲

BUT PLEASE... do not DM if you are not:

❌ 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗻 functional lab 𝘁𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴, not guessing
❌ done with 𝗲𝘅𝗰𝘂𝘀𝗲𝘀 and starting over every Monday
❌ ready & willing to 𝗜𝗡𝗩𝗘𝗦𝗧 𝗜𝗡 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥𝗦𝗘𝗟𝗙

So, what do you think?!

If you meet the qualifications above and are ready to get your energy, your body, and YOU back...

DM me “INFO” to learn more about the Perimenopause Metabolism Protocol!

Only 8 founding spots, with founding pricing through Nov 10th.

10/30/2026

The sad, real life haunted house is when your doctor hands you a script after a 7min appointment and sends you on your way, see ya in 6 months.

That’s not health care.

I want to see the data. Not the basic bloodwork... the comprehensive functional labs.

The ones that show you WHY your thyroid is struggling. WHY you’re bloated after dinner. WHY you’re ready for a nap after lunch.

WHY THE HECK the weight won’t budge.

You are missing a huge chunk of the story, if you aren’t running the in depth labs. And that’s why I have created this new program - bc you deserve real answers, not just slapped with a new lifetime prescription.

Comment WAITLIST 👇
The program opens Nov 1st, and there’s a fast action bonus if you’re ready to take action. 🎃

10/30/2026

Your weight loss is plateaued, but not bc you don’t want it “bad enough”.

It’s bc you have a plan that was written for someone without kids, a job, or a Tuesday night soccer practice.

Most wellness plans assume you have time to meal prep for 3 hours on Sunday, cook separate meals for yourself, and never get stuck in a 4pm meeting when you “should” be eating.

So you go all in on Monday.

By Thursday, someone’s sick, work blows up, and you’re hiding in the pantry eating snacks bc you are hangry at 9pm.

Then you feel like you failed. Again.

You didn’t fail. The plan did.

In the Perimenopause Metabolism Protocol, finding the root cause is only half of it. The other half is making the plan work on your busiest, messiest days. Real meals your family will eat. Habits that fit between drop-off and dinner. Support when life happens.

Comment WAITLIST 👇- this program opens Sunday Nov 1st

10/29/2026

Let’s talk about the supplement graveyard in your kitchen cabinet.

The magnesium. The ashwagandha. The no “hormone balance” gummies your friend swore by. The greens powder you used for 9 days.

No judgment. I had one too.

Here’s the thing...

When you guess, you’re treating symptoms without knowing the cause. Bloating, fatigue, and stubborn weight can come from your gut, your hormones, your blood sugar, or all three. Each one needs a different fix.

So you spend hundreds of dollars, months of effort, and a lot of hope... and end up right back where you started.

Except now you also feel like nothing works for you.

Something WILL work for you. You just need to know what you’re actually working with.

(And often, slapping a supplement on it is not and should not be the only answer)

In the Perimenopause Metabolism Protocol, we look at your symptoms, your history, and your labs so we stop guessing and start fixing.

Nothing changes if nothing changes.

Comment WAITLIST 👇 to get on the waitlist
(opens Nov 1)

10/29/2026

My inbox is flooded with messages about women who feel stressed out beyond belief… their goal is to lose weight but the extra pudge is just not budging no matter what.

And yep, stress is playing a very key role.

When we are stressed… we end up doing these unconscious habits, which over time tend to wreck our hormones, our energy, and even stall our weight loss progress.

I use a handful of functional medicine labs to tell you EXACTLY what’s going on.

The data is where we make the progress. And if you’ve never run a functional lab, this could absolutely be why your progress is stalled out.

But which one!? So many options 😵‍💫

That’s where my Metabolism Audit comes in.

I’m NOT going to recommend you take every lab and panel out there. We need to target the specific ones that make sense for YOUR symptoms and goals. I typically recommend 2-3.

If you want to learn exactly which labs I would recommend for you, and get a fully mapped out sketch of what your health journey could look like -

Comment AUDIT 👇 and I’ll send you the link to my 3 min form, so I can map out your exact next steps.

10/27/2026

Mondays are checkin days - the day where we look back on last week’s progress, adjust as needed for this week… and importantly… celebrate the little wins (that add up to BIG wins!!)

Do you have anyone checking in on you, giving you feedback, encouraging you, celebrating your wins??

It’s just one of the ways that my coaching program supports you in your goals.

Research shows that those who are supported are 98% more likely to reach their health goals 😉

Countdown to launch day… 5 more days!!

If you just cannot wait… comment READY 👇 and I’ll share a sneak peek 🤗

Address

12475 Sea Oaks Lane, Suite 1
Berlin, MD
21811

Website

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSftSQESZcxfqQxmyeFQXu3zfPaMoz0sTjZnRqU7ZP7N3ldE7Q/viewform?usp=header

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