Saber Coaching

Anytime you want to do a check in or reset on your goals, you have to start with a clear set of goals.

People talk a lot about smart goals or outcome goals. Just say somewhere what you are going to do and by when you are going to do it.

Then you have the opportunity to think about, did I do it or did I not do it?

That is one of the first challenges when people try to check in. They don't have strong, well written goals to check in against.

I set a goal this year to meet a certain revenue target, and if I did, I was going to go skydiving.

I did not meet it, and I missed it by that much.

Now I have the choice to say that was a win or that was a loss, and that choice only means something because the number existed first.

The second thing people need to do is define what enough is up front.

Because what I see instead is people moving goalposts. I am going to double the business. Great. If you double the business, take the time to celebrate. If you didn't, have an after action review, figure out what went well, what didn't go so well, and what you need to do differently next time.

We don't spend enough time planning our celebrations.

In my design alliance conversations, I ask, what does it look like or sound like when you are in celebration?

I coach 80% men, and the response I get is, " Celebrate? I'm not good at that”. And I say, fine. Do you want to stay not good at that?

Many of the men I coach are very achievement-oriented. If I ask them what is enough, the answer is a little bit more. Always.

That is a hard thing to hit, and a hard thing to sustain.

What would enough actually look like for you this quarter, if you had to name it now? Would love to hear your thoughts in the comments 👇

What if the friends you want are just one message away?

Nobody decides to lose their friends; they float away - no falling out, no goodbye, just calendars that slowly stop overlapping.

We were taught to be self-sufficient, not connected, so we go it alone. Disconnected islands

But friendship isn't something that maintains itself.
After a certain age, connection stops being automatic and becomes a choice.

So think about who you have been meaning to reach out to, send the message today, then find time to connect. And let's talk about building a more connected life.

How does your team actually make decisions?

Ask the room out loud and you get a room full of blank stares, because nobody really answers.

Two failure modes are usually running the show.

Plop, when a suggestion gets cold silence, no response, no build, no decision.

And minority rules, when the leader says great idea and it moves forward regardless of how the rest of the team felt.

Great teams take time to answer three questions on purpose:
1️⃣ What decisions do we make as a team?
2️⃣ What process will we use to make them?
3️⃣ How will we evaluate them so we can learn?

Answer those three, and your output immediately improves.

If you're not sure how your team actually decides, book a conversation and let's map your three questions together.

For a lot of guys, who you are is what you do, at least in the earning years.

Then work starts to feel like less of a focus, you look around, and you're smack dab in the middle of what they call the friendship recession.

Here's how it happens, and it's rarely dramatic.

The quarterly meetup to talk about goals falls away.

The running group fades.

The brewery closes.

Then pickleball, and too many injuries.

None of it is a falling out, just calendars that slowly stopped overlapping.

The numbers back it up.

Only about 1 in 5 men get their emotional support from friends, and that weight often lands on a spouse instead.

We were mostly taught to be self-sufficient, not connected, so reaching out first was never really the script we were handed.

But connection after a certain age stops being automatic, and it becomes a choice.

The friends you want are usually one message away, and it rebuilds the moment someone goes first.

Who have you been meaning to reach out to, and what has been stopping you? Share your thoughts in the comments below 👇

At the VP level, people look to you to break ties and make the strategic calls.

But today's challenges are nuanced, and sometimes it helps to slow the game down and consider if two things can be right.

I asked two co-leaders, how might you move forward assuming you're both right?

Don't find a watered-down compromise; let the strategy bring out the best of both.

The next time you catch yourself thinking either/or, what would change if you held both? Share your thoughts in the comments below 👇

For a lot of guys, who you are is what you do, at least in the earning years.

But as work fades as a focus, many of us land in what they call the friendship recession.

The share of men with at least six close friends fell from 55% in 1990 to 27% in 2021.

Only 20% of men get their emotional support from friends, and that load often shifts to spouses.

When was the last time you called a friend just to say you needed them? Share your thoughts in the comments below 👇