10/30/2026
I posted a story recently about an employee whose manager tried to get the employee a raise. The manager failed in that attempt. A higher-up leader or leaders said no.
The manager texted the employee to say, you’re not going to get the raise, but if you decide to start jobhunting, feel free to use me as a reference. (I’m paraphrasing.)
Lots of people in the comments said, “You work for a great manager.”
I strongly disagree. 
It can take a concerted effort to get a leadership team to do the right thing.
It can take time. It can require a manager to risk status and respect and get into an argument. That’s fine. Your words may be exactly the words your leaders need to hear.
A great manager doesn’t give up when they fail in their first attempt to get an employee the compensation they deserve - or anything else they deserve, like the proper title, visibility, responsibility or credit for an accomplishment.
We don’t know how hard this manager pushed for their employee to get a pay raise, but that’s because they don’t tell us.
The employee only knows that the manager got shut down hard enough that the manager says they wouldn’t blame the employee if they start looking for a new job.
That’s defeat. 
It’s an incomplete answer. Did the executives say we would actually like this employee to get lost? Or did the manager decide I can’t waste any more political capital on this fight? The manager doesn’t say.
It costs nothing to say, Use me as a reference.
Stepping into a management role means being accountable, and that includes advocating for the people on your team.
If I proposed a raise for someone on my team and I got shut down, I would spend the rest of the conversation learning why.
What is the specific objection to giving this person a pay increase?
Under what circumstances can they get the increase in the future?
If I believe a person is underpaid relative to other employees in our firm or the outside talent market, I’m going to bring that data to the meeting.
And if I’m told they can’t get a raise now, I’m gonna find out when they can get the raise and what we need to do to ensure it.
I’m going to keep up the pressure because that is my job.
I’m not going to lamely write to the employee and say I don’t blame you if you leave.
If I do that, I’m no longer a manager. I’m just a MESSENGER.
I’m throwing my hands up in the air.
Every day we have the opportunity to get stronger or get weaker.
Every action we take and every word we speak moves us in one direction or the other.
What strong managers learn – and all of us learn because you don’t have to be a manager to get this lesson – is that the more you do the right thing and argue for the right thing, the bigger your muscles get.
Your arguments get more convincing and you get more credibility and visibility yourself.
You get more approvals because you learn how to knock down objections.
That is personal and professional growth.
You don’t get to limp back to your corner and defeat and say oh well, I’ve done all I can do, maybe you should go work somewhere else.
