Dr. Gail Gazelle

Here are three signs you’re burned out as a female physician:

Physicians often dread identifying with the “b-word,” and can leave the condition undiagnosed for far too long - causing them to miss out on important memories with the people they love, or even wind up in a place where they end up leaving medicine.

So here are three “Early Warning Signs” that you may be experiencing physician burnout

#1. You aren’t looking forward to work, or you’re thinking of leaving medicine

If you’ve started to google non-clinical careers, you’re getting in your car in the mornings wishing you could drive in the opposite direction, or even dreading work on Sunday nights, you may very well be burned out. I think so many physicians get into the routine of self-sacrifice that many of these signs are now considered normal! But if you are experiencing that dread, for a career you onced dreamt of, then you may very well be burned out.

#2. Your kids, partner, or friends notice that you aren’t fully present

If you are coming home with so many mental tabs open that you can’t even appreciate when your daughter shows you her newest painting, or you’re still charting during your sons baseball practice and miss his first single of the season, know that you may be burned out. Many physicians share with me things like “coming home in zombie mode,” or never being fully present. And there is a better way.

#3 Compassion fatigue

Burned out physicians are more irritable, more likely to snap, less likely to be forgiving of a patient who is late a few minutes. You may be numb to patient complaints or start to view them all as one long chain of complainers. And the compassion you started your career with may very well have run dry.

These are three signs that you might be ready for a real change. And if that’s the case, know that what you’re going through is normal - that 50% of your colleagues are in the same boat, and that a much better reality is closer than you think.

To your resilience,
Dr. Gail

Here’s why delaying gratification as a woman in medicine is actually a bad thing.

In most areas of life, delaying gratification is a good thing. It helps us stay disciplined, work toward long-term goals, and achieve what matters most.

But as a woman in medicine, you’ve taken it to the extreme—because that’s what you were trained to do.

✔️ In undergrad: “I’ll be happy when I get into med school.”
✔️ In med school: “I’ll be happy when I match into the right residency.”
✔️ In residency: “I’ll be happy when I finally become an attending.”
✔️ As an attending: “I’ll be happy when I cut back my hours… pay off my loans… when things finally calm down…”

And yet, no matter how much you accomplish, the finish line keeps moving.

You were taught to sacrifice, endure, and wait. But you were never taught how to actually enjoy the life you worked so hard for.

Maybe you feel like you’re still mentally stuck in survival mode, like happiness is always just out of reach.

But here’s the truth: happiness doesn’t come from crossing some invisible finish line. It comes from:
Letting go of the guilt for prioritizing yourself
Enjoying the life you built—not just grinding through it

Recognizing that you are already enough
You don’t have to keep waiting for permission to be happy. You don’t have to keep deferring your own joy.

You deserve to live fully now—not someday.

To your resilience,
Dr. Gail

A male doctor sets boundaries, and he’s ‘confident.’ A female doctor sets boundaries, and she’s ‘difficult.’

You’ve seen it happen.

Your male colleague leaves on time, and no one bats an eye.

You leave on time, and someone makes a comment—“Must be nice.”

He says no to an extra shift, and it’s understood.

You say no, and suddenly you’re not a team player.

The double standard is real. But here’s what I need you to hear—it’s not your job to manage other people’s reactions to your boundaries.

🚨 They might be uncomfortable.
🚨 They might not like it.
🚨 They might call you “difficult.”

And none of that is a you problem.

Here’s how you start setting boundaries without guilt:

✅ Detach from their opinion.
If a colleague gets frustrated when you say no, that’s their discomfort—not your responsibility.
✅ Make boundaries factual, not emotional.
Instead of saying “I really can’t, I feel bad,” say “I’m unavailable at that time.” Full stop.
✅ Expect pushback—and hold the line anyway.

Your boundaries won’t feel normal at first. That doesn’t mean they’re wrong. It means you’re unlearning a lifetime of overgiving.

And here’s the truth: Men aren’t more “confident” for protecting their time.

They’re just not apologizing for it.

So the next time you feel guilty for setting a boundary, ask yourself—if I were a man, would I even be questioning this?

Drop a 💪 in the comments if you’re ready to let go of the double standard.

Because you do not exist to be endlessly available.

To your resilience,
Gail