Funderful Experiences

She goes to book club. She walks with the neighborhood group. She plays pickleball twice a week. She has a standing dinner with women from work. By any measure, she has a social life.

So why does Sunday night feel so heavy?

Because company and connection are not the same thing.

Company is being in the same room. Connection is feeling known. And you can be surrounded by company and starving for connection - and that hunger hides behind a full calendar that makes everyone, including you, think you should be fine.

The question worth sitting with: How many of the people you spend time with actually know you?

For a long time, I settled for friendships that almost happened. Conversations that never quite turned my way. Plans that kept getting cancelled. Connections that felt like work with very little return.

So I got honest about what I actually valued. Presence. Reciprocity. Conversations that go somewhere real.

And I stopped investing in connections that didn't meet that bar - even when it was scary. Even when my honest fear was that I was asking for too much. That I'd end up alone.
But here's what I didn't expect: when I stopped filling the space with the wrong connections, the right ones found me.

These women are some of them. And I'm grateful for them every single day.
If you've been settling for friendships that almost happen, you don't have to keep waiting for it to work itself out. You can choose it.

You cannot build a real friendship with someone who isn't paying attention to you.

I learned that the hard way, on what was supposed to be a warm, unhurried Saturday with someone I'd been showing up for over the course of a year. She made plans on top of our plans and asked us to shrink our afternoon so she could make it in time. And she said it like it was the most reasonable thing in the world.

That was the afternoon I finally let myself see it clearly.

Is there a friendship in your life where you've been doing most of the caring? Drop a heart below if this one landed.

Proof that brunch tastes even better when shared with great company. ☀️

Saturday's Taste of Carlsbad Village Brunch was such a fun reminder of what Connected Hearts is all about - shared experiences, genuine conversation, lots of laughter, and friendships that continue growing beyond our gatherings.

And of course… discovering a few delicious new favorite spots along the way didn’t hurt either. 💛

Amazing photo courtesy of https://tanyaperezphoto.com/

Yesterday’s Taste of Carlsbad Village Brunch was such a great reminder of how special our local community really is. ☀️🥂

A huge shoutout to all of the amazing participating restaurants and businesses who helped make the event so memorable - from creative brunch bites to signature sips, every stop brought something unique, welcoming, and delicious to the experience.

And a very special thank you to Carlsbad Village Association for the incredible work they do creating events that bring people together while showcasing the heart of the Village and supporting local businesses.

We had an absolute blast exploring, laughing, eating way too much (worth it 😂), and discovering a few new favorites we’ll definitely be back for.

There's a specific kind of sting that comes not from being disliked, but from realizing you've been an afterthought to someone you genuinely showed up for.

I didn't see it all at once. I saw it on one particular Saturday afternoon in Carlsbad, in a single moment that made everything else impossible to unsee.

I'm sharing the whole story in this week's email. If you're not on my list yet, get The Uplift https://www.funderfulexperiences.com/get-the-uplift/

Do you know that feeling of finally seeing something clearly after a long time of not quite letting yourself look?

There's a strange moment in midlife when you look around and realize your social life has gotten... smaller. Not because you did anything wrong, but because life reorganized itself, and somewhere in the shuffle, the friendships didn't quite keep pace.

And it's not just the friendships. It's also the conversations that actually go somewhere real. The space to show up without the curated version of yourself and know you'll be welcomed warmly — exactly as you are. That's rarer than it should be for women in their 50s and 60s.

That's what Connected Hearts is. A community in Carlsbad for women ready for something more meaningful.

Our June 2nd gathering is open to a few guests, and I'd love for you to experience it before deciding if we're your people. Click the link below for details.

https://www.facebook.com/events/993092579932530/

You invite her to something three weeks out. She'd love to, but she's not sure what her schedule looks like. 𝘊𝘢𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘤𝘬 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘤𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦?

You check back closer to the time. 𝘚𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺 𝘣𝘶𝘴𝘺.

The window closed. Again.

This isn't a scheduling problem. It's a commitment problem. We've become a culture of kept options - nobody wants to commit in advance because what if something better comes up.

And real friendship - the kind that actually grows - 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘴 commitment. It needs showing up even when you don't feel like it. It needs choosing the plan you made over the option that appeared later.

Keeping options open feels like freedom. What it actually is, over time, is loneliness.

She says she's too busy for a social life.

And she is 𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘶𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘭𝘺 busy. Full calendar, real obligations, legitimate exhaustion.

She's also spending evenings scrolling. Watching things she won't remember. Saying yes to commitments that drain her.

I've been that woman. It's not a time problem. It's a priority problem. And the reason friendship keeps losing is because it feels like the most optional thing on the list.

𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘧 𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴𝘯'𝘵?

Do you know someone who needs to read this today? Pass it on...

Just a normal morning eating breakfast, minding my own business, and then I looked over and saw THIS! Do your fur children alo enjoy this pose???