08/31/2026
I love y’all. I really do. 😂
But after years of being a trainer + holistic nutrition coach, there are certain things you can say to me that immediately make my brain go: 🤦♀️🫠
Or… and hear me out… you could eat like a functioning human being and let me figure out what’s actually going on.
Carbs didn’t hurt you. It’s the 🚮 carbs you’re eating at 9pm because you’re blood sugar is fighting for its life.
Patrick said you just had queso. Not that you committed a felony.
If you get bulky, can you teach me how?
Respectfully, your screen-time report disagrees. But you don’t want to talk about that in your check in…
The 14 handfuls of trail mix would like to speak
YOU WANT MUSCLE.
YOU JUST DON’T KNOW HER NAME YET.
And then at 9 PM you’re ready to eat the drywall. Interesting.
So you want me to solve a mystery with absolutely none of the clues?
Ma’am, I am a nutrition coach, not a psychic.
Your nervous system would like to have a chat.
Girl. THE TRACK IS NOT MOVING.
You keep leaving it.
Maybe stop waiting til your life is “together” to take care of yourself.