09/18/2026
This is a repost from 2012. I worked at a different Yoga center where we were encouraged" to get out and teach a class or give a healing lecture at a senior center or retirement center. I think it still has some value what I wrote and noticed then. I might add that when I left the center, most of the caregivers were outside the building smoking ci******es! David Elder
September 16, 2012
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Yesterday, I gave a presentation at a local Retirement home. The topic was reducing stress in the lives of caregivers, and presenting them with a variety of tools for improved self care.
I was informed that this was to be directed TO the caregivers. When I arrived, the director informed me that of course the caregivers were invited, but it was optional. The hall
Was filled with geriatrics of all ages and of course mostly seriously poor health and mental cognition, several Alzheimer's patients, wheelchair bound and stroke victims.
Not one caregiver was there.
I put my notes back in my backpack. For about two minutes we just stared at each other and I just figured I would wing it. What to say? I will spare you the details but I did succeed in raising their energy, got them laughing, practiced simple breath work. Invoked "The greatest Generation" Tommy Dorsey, Frank Sinatra and anything I could think of that my parents loved. (Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but backwards.. They liked that)
We had a massage therapist there as well. We offered light massages at the end (free) and it took a while to get anyone to accept. They eventually did. Why do I mention this? Most of the women had NEVER had a massage or anyone touch their back and shoulders. This is what they told me. Most were hypersensitive and could only tolerate the lightest feather touch. Several cried. It is one thing to be with your own aging relative whose history you know. Entirely another to be in a room full of clearly suffering Elders. They are mostly out of sight in our culture. They are isolated, lonely and in pain we cannot imagine. Some looked no older than me!
I mention this because much of it does not have to be this way. Of course aging is Inevitable, but quality of life can be preserved till the end of life for many. My father is 91 and still travels to Europe by himself. Please. It's not too late to start taking better care of yourself. Get moving. Drink water. Stay involved in the things you love. Kill your TV. Don't buy into any internal or culturally designated conversation that you should be this way or that in any stage of your life. Resist!
Resist the negative media. It lowers your energy. Keep your mind on the sunny side. Get moving. Don't take things personally. Notice what you eat. Try something new.
Next time you see an old person shuffling along in the grocery store, say Hi! Connect. See if you can help. This might be the last year they are out and about.
I was deeply humbled and saddened by what I saw there, and this was a very nice and expensive facility.
There were two very perky women there that were clear eyed and completely aware. They both were bossing me around like crazy in the massage. Their bodies were breaking down but I could see they had found a way to have fun their entire life, were enjoying a certain degree of equanimity and their established habit of joy was carrying them along nicely.
Did I mention get moving!?
I never have done this before, but am glad I did.. It was an eye opening experience and frankly, I was woefully unprepared.
All comments and perspectives welcome. After all, we are all heading in that direction!
