09/17/2026
My 16-year-old son referees youth soccer.
Some weekends, he’s one of the most mature people at the field.
That isn’t always a compliment.
He shows up early, checks the field, keeps track of the clock, watches twenty-two moving players and makes judgment calls in real time.
Then a grown man who has had forty years to develop self-control decides a disputed throw-in is the moment to forget all of it.
I understand being frustrated. Referees miss calls.
So do players. So do coaches. So does every parent who has ever yelled instructions from a folding chair as if Pep Guardiola were taking notes nearby.
But you’re allowed to disagree with a teenager’s call without making the teenager absorb your anger.
This is youth soccer. There isn’t a professional scout hiding behind the concession stand. Nobody’s scholarship disappeared because the ball went out on the wrong side of the line.
We tell teenagers to put down their phones, get jobs, accept responsibility and learn how to handle pressure.
Then some adults scream at them until they decide the paycheck isn’t worth the abuse.
And those same adults will be confused next season when there aren’t enough referees.
Cheer for your kid. Let the coach handle legitimate concerns. Treat the official like someone else’s son or daughter, because that’s exactly who they are.
The call will probably be forgotten by dinner.
The way the adult behaved might not be.
