Joshua Havird

Commemorative buzzmaxing post.

Year so far.

Some really fun climbs at Blochaven and celebrating Mel. Hit some 3/4s and at least one 4/5. Also I'm kidding in that first video y'all.

I knew I was going to make this post at some point, today felt like the day.

These are some of my writings from the past couple of months. We often ask each other how we are doing but never really get too deep into it. This is a little glimpse for me. December was rough. God intentionally allowed me to walk through some really hard things for my heart. I felt so helpless at times, and sometimes still do. I fight loneliness and sadness a lot more frequently than I would like. But He has led me day by day, and I'm learning to not be overcome.

Every now and then I go through such hard seasons, where one minute I'm good and then another it's like I'm overcome again. It's so difficult and it hurts, but God purposely Shepherds me through for my good and His glory. I have been learning to suffer well, to always run to Him regardless of whether or not I get what I'm looking for. I have had encounters of deep comfort, and I have had days and nights without. It's helped me to understand the Psalms a little better.

I've learned and am learning to talk with friends that care. To consume scripture like it's medicine. To pray honestly and frequently. To fight to be joyful. To be steadfast and push through. To not think that if things don't go my way there is no hope for good or even better to still come forth.

I am still learning to love deeply and care, even if it hurts.

I've also learned that my hope is eternal, not just for this life. Things may not go how I hope they will. Honestly, that happens a lot. But nothing is meaningless. God is present and sovereign. And whether I have abundance or lack, there is an ultimate good ending.

I share this for multiple reasons. Clarity and understanding for those who know me, but also because we all wrestle like this at some point. We aren't alone. We're also not always the best at either sharing or checking.

But know that this is the walk of faith. God is still near. He is still ordering steps. He is still working for good. And His love is everlasting. I still truly believe that.

Romans 8:18 ESV
[18] For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.