07/02/2022
The record says it’s true. Serena Williams is the greatest female champion in history. Her records rivals that of any man. Serena’s competitive will is stratospheric. Coupled with a strength and power never seen in women’s tennis, her will is arguably her single biggest asset. Once a player has established confidence in their stroke productions what separates champions from contenders is mental fortitude. Serena had that by the bucketload. That is why I find it hard to watch her play late in her career as the body has begun to lose its ability to keep up with the demands of the will.
Perhaps because she has had such a dominate force of will Serena has been able to get away with a game style that leaves little margin for error. When she faltered, she could just double up her mental fortitude and push through. It has become painfully obvious that at 40, this is becoming increasingly difficult.
Serena has not only been a pioneer in revolutionizing women’s tennis, as a fiery, very sturdy, black women, she has also had to fight through comportment criticism (her athletic prowess is somehow not ladylike enough?), racism, body type criticisms, and no doubt other things I am not privy too. It is a lot. In the past she would defiantly push through her burdens. Now she seems weighed down by them.
I like to imagine at this stage of her career she could go onto the court lightened by the fullness of her legacy. Exhale, and invite a well-earned clarity. It is possibly the toughest thing to reinvent ones. No doubt even more daunting when your way has made you the GOAT. Still, I cannot help wanting something lighter for her as I watch her struggle with her burdens in the twilight of her career. God knows she has earned the right to exhale in a manner that leaves her burdens behind, opens possibilities for clear expressions of pure joy a delight I am sure she experienced as a child.
Tennis is a sport which over a lifetime provides countless opportunities for us to face ourselves warts and all. Well reflected, our self-examinations can result in us blossoming into the person we aspire for ourselves. As a young anxiety filled competitor, I had to devise clever ways to be comfortable associating with various pressures of competition and the variety of oncoming energies, speeds and spins. Along the way I have learned to play in a way that my anxieties generally play second fiddle to my joy in creating.
On my very best day I found a level of surrender where I simply played as a simple gratitude for the gift of my embodiment. Each stroke felt like an unconditional, trusted gift of motion that connected me in a harmonic dance of creative expression. It came about as I was struggling miserably in the finals of a tournament. Able to remember a lesson offered many years earlier about the toughest competitor residing withing I was able to completely get out of my own way. Completely sincere about not caring whether I won or lost, I effortlessly fended off 6 match points and went on to win the match. I knew it was a forgone conclusion the minute I surrendered in gratitude for this gift of life. For the rest of the match, I played connected with in a field of support and abundant gifts which included a simple clarity seeing and responding to the various balls coming my way. While my opponent got tighter, no doubt confused about my repose, I just stayed in this lovely state of surrendered ego. I have not experienced this field so purely since. I do use its memory as instruction while I attempt to vanquish my trying, play in a trust where my being is free to be more actor than reactor. I have learned joy plays a much richer, less energy intensive game than anxiety. There seems to be more clarity. Time slows enough for more expressions of nuance. My goal was long to develop confidence in enough tools to be comfortable whatever position was drawn or drew myself into on the court, no matter what kind of ball was coming my way. Today, I am dealing with new awareness, adapting to declining strength, speed and vision. God willing, I might have 20 good years left to practice my version of free expression on the court. Best I figure, any practice of slowing time may favor some illusion of those twenty years feeling like 50. The court is a great place its practice.
I do not pretend to know all Serena might be dealing with. But I would vicariously enjoy seeing her find a less burdensome expression of a game she has given so much too. Big sister Venus, though she has carried similar burdens and been betrayed by its weight at times, seems more naturally inclined to expressions of levity. The second coming of little sister is obviously built of more than overcompensation. She could take a page from big sis or, better yet, reinvent herself on her own terms. Your legacy is intact little sister. Try giving yourself a bit of breathing room. Who knows what might be waiting for you there?
