The Gifted Learning Lab

10/23/2026

Coming out is an ongoing process. 🌈

I didn't get this ready by National Coming Out Day this month, but it's always a good day to celebrate coming out and LGBTQI folks! I’m q***r, and I come out to new people every year - this year, to all of you!

Did you know that LGBTQIA+ identities may be more common among gifted and talented youth?

Did you know that autistic youth and youth with ADHD are more likely to act in ways that don’t conform to traditional gender roles?

➡️ Swipe through to read 4 tips for supporting healthy identity development for gifted/2e kids who are curious, questioning, or coming out as LGBTAIA+

This is not a comprehensive list; instead, it addresses difficulties I’ve seen most often in the families I work with.

Your child can’t really make an error with their identity, since they are the only ones who know what feels right to them.

If your gifted or 2e kid is LGBTQIA+ or gender-expansive, what’s one great way you’ve found to support them?

10/10/2026

Autism is often missed in gifted kids, in part because common gifted/autistic characteristics are misattributed to giftedness alone.

Why is it a problem if a gifted child’s autism is missed?

When a child’s autistic twice-exceptionality is unidentified, they often worry that they are flawed in some way - weird, awkward, too intense, irresponsible, incapable, reactive, or rude. When these kids learn that they’re autistic, it’s often easier for them to accept that there’s nothing wrong with them - that they’re just different. In fact, they learn that their different way of thinking and working has a name and a community of people like them!

So what does an autistic gifted kid look like? Act like? If not the stereotype?

🧮 Early fascination with letters or numbers

🧱Love of organizing and systematizing

🦕 Love of collecting items and/or information

🎯 Drive for accuracy

🔍 Clear idea about how they want things to go

🦄 Intense curiosity about subjects that interest them

🗣️ Advanced and formal use of language

🌀 Advanced ability to notice patterns and understand systems

⚡️Emotional intensity

In these slides I dive deeper into each of these traits.

If you’d like to read more about commonly-missed signs of twice-exceptionality, comment EXCEPTIONAL to read my article “Could Your Child Be Twice-Exceptional?”

In the article I cover more of these commonly missed indicators and explain why it can be liberating to discover twice-exceptionality.

10/06/2026

Is your kiddo working hard all day to hold it together? And falling apart the moment they get home?

This is extremely common. Parents of emotionally intense, sensitive, gifted and twice-exceptional kids often face the same challenge year after year: finding a school that actually fits.

Even gifted-specific and 2e-specific schools can be a poor match — or may only work for a year or two. It happened to us — twice. My kid is 7 years old, and this is the second time we've had to make a major school change. Three years ago, we pulled him out of preschool mid-year because the environment was causing real harm and pushing him toward burnout.

When you can't move the needle, that doesn't mean you failed. Schools often fail gifted and 2e kids. Gifted kids rarely get learning at their level. Twice-exceptional kids are often harmed by poor treatment and misunderstanding — from students and teachers alike.

If this has happened to you, it may be the school that failed, not you. And sometimes respectful communication, shared information, and clear requests just aren't enough.

If advocacy doesn’t work or if the situation is too harmful, many parents decide to change their child’s school, homeschool, or unschool. So if you’re considering a new school or an educational change next year because you can tell your gifted/2e kid isn’t thriving, know that you’re not alone.

Comment “ADVOCATE” to receive a link to my article “Why & How to Advocate for Your Gifted or 2e Student.”

Comment SUPPORT to learn more about my coaching program, including how I help parents with school advocacy.

09/28/2026

Which standard parenting advice is actually working against your gifted/2e kid or teen?

If you've got a quick-witted, strong-willed, emotionally intense or sensitive gifted/2e kid or teen, you've probably noticed that a lot of the parenting advice you hear just doesn't work for them.

This quick free quiz will help you get more clarity about which common parenting advice may be backfiring, based on your kid's unique brain and body characteristics — and some new approaches you can try instead.

→ 15 quick questions, about 3 minutes
→ Which standard advice is a poor fit for your kid
→ 3 Strategy Swaps — some gifted/2e-aligned approaches to try instead

This free, short quiz will help you understand which of your kid's gifted/2e characteristics underlie challenging moments at home, and which standard parenting advice is making things worse. You'll also get 3 personalized strategy swaps - which standard advice to let go of and one gifted/2e-aligned....

09/28/2026

Here's two more:

❌ Arguing with perfectionism.

Honestly, if hearing an adult say "Things don't have to be perfect!" was going to work....it would have already.

⭐ What to do instead: Validate their experience.

Here's what this sounds like:

"Oh no, you tried so many times, and now I bet you're exhausted and just tired of it."

"Ugh, I also get so discouraged when my drawings get completely messed up."

Their feelings will just get louder until someone actually listens to them. We can support them to take a break until they are feeling better, and then return to the hard activity later.

❌ Expecting self-advocacy to be perfect from the start

Self-advocacy may sound like arguing, refusing, or even yelling "shut up" the first time they say it. But if we get curious, there's self-advocacy begging to be heard underneath.

⭐ Try this phrase: "I see how hard this is for you, and I believe you that it's this hard." And then in a calm moment, problem-solve together about what would help them.

Twice-exceptional kids need authenticity, real validation, collaboration, and space to rest. This conversation with Dr. Danika Maddocks from goes deep into how we as providers can show up to help our 2E clients thrive.

Let us know what lands for you.

Listen by searching Born to Be Free on any major podcast player, or by visiting learnplaythrive.com/podcast

09/16/2026

For years I called myself a wet blanket. A party pooper. A nervous Nancy.

Turns out none of that was personality. It was capacity.

Do people assume your child has a difficult personality when they're actually overwhelmed? Does thinking about capacity instead of personality shift what you see, in them or in yourself?

Comment below, I'd love to hear.

📬 Want more reframes like this delivered straight to your inbox? Comment "NOTES" to sign up for my weeklyish newsletter, Gifted Lab Notes.

09/02/2026

Autism is often missed in gifted kids, in part because common gifted/autistic characteristics are misattributed to giftedness alone.

Why is it a problem if a gifted child’s autism is missed?

When a child’s autistic twice-exceptionality is unidentified, they often worry that they are flawed in some way - weird, awkward, too intense, irresponsible, incapable, reactive, or rude. When these kids learn that they’re autistic, it’s often easier for them to accept that there’s nothing wrong with them - that they’re just different. In fact, they learn that their different way of thinking and working has a name and a community of people like them!

So what does an autistic gifted kid look like? Act like? If not the stereotype?

🧮 Early fascination with letters or numbers
​
🧱Love of organizing and systematizing

🦕 Love of collecting items and/or information

🎯 Drive for accuracy ​

🔍 Clear idea about how they want things to go

🦄 Intense curiosity about subjects that interest them

🗣️ Advanced and formal use of language
​
🌀 Advanced ability to notice patterns and understand systems

⚡️Emotional intensity

In these slides I dive deeper into each of these traits.

If you’d like to read more about commonly-missed signs of twice-exceptionality, comment EXCEPTIONAL to read my article “Could Your Child Be Twice-Exceptional?”

In the article I cover more of these commonly missed indicators and explain why it can be liberating to discover twice-exceptionality.

08/27/2026

Parenting in public: tips for tough conversations.

Many of us look forward to summer gatherings with a mix of longing and worry. We want to see our people. We also know new spaces and hot weather can overwhelm our kids, and we brace for the comments.

You don't have to explain anything. Not your parenting, not your child's behavior, not to anyone. You're the expert on your family, even if you're still figuring out what works.

Keep these in your back pocket: "We know what we're doing." "Now's not a good time." "I don't talk about my child in front of them."

Prepare people in advance, not in the moment. And in the tough moment itself, focus on your kid, not the audience. Your kid can feel that focus, and it calms them too.

Some people won't ever agree with how you parent. If your values are fundamentally mismatched, release the hope for understanding. Stick to clear requests, and adjust how much time you spend.

When it gets hard, remember your why. What are you giving your child that you didn't have?

Want scripts like this in your inbox? Comment "NOTES" for Gifted Lab Notes. Comment SUPPORT to learn about Support Your Intense Gifted/2e Kid — next live cohort starts in September.

08/21/2026

Do you feel stuck in negotiations and power struggles with your twice-exceptional kid, teen, or young adult?

Do daily tasks feel like a battle or a grind?

Do you want to feel like you and your kid are on the same team instead of opposing forces?

If so, I'd love for you to join me and the Bridges 2e Center for this free webinar next Tuesday, Reduce 2e Power Struggles with Strengths-Based, Affirming Approaches.

When: Next Tuesday, August 25th, 12pm - 1pm PT

Where: Zoom (comment BRIDGES for the registration link!)

During the talk, I'll:

💪 Explain why power struggles are so common with twice-exceptional kids

🧠 Help you shift these dynamics with strengths-based, neurodivergent-affirming approaches

📝 Share powerful, practical strategies to prevent and defuse power struggles

🏡 Share real-life examples to help you apply these strategies in your family.

Sign up for this free talk at the link below.

https://pci.jotform.com/form/262225769103153

08/20/2026

Do you feel stuck in negotiations and power struggles with your twice-exceptional kid, teen, or young adult?

Do daily tasks feel like a battle or a grind?

Do you want to feel like you and your kid are on the same team instead of opposing forces?

If so, I'd love for you to join me and the Bridges 2e Center for this free webinar next Tuesday, Reduce 2e Power Struggles with Strengths-Based, Affirming Approaches.

When: Next Tuesday, August 25th, 12pm - 1pm PT

Where: Zoom (sign up to get the link - click on the image below to sign up)

During the talk, I'll:

✅ Explain why power struggles are so common with twice-exceptional kids
✅ Help you shift these dynamics with strengths-based, neurodivergent-affirming approaches
✅ Share powerful, practical strategies to prevent and defuse power struggles
✅ Share real-life examples to help you apply these strategies in your family.

I'd love to see you there!

Please click the link to complete this form.