ORB: Skilled Arts and Holistic Wellness.

Happy birthday to the most beautiful woman I have ever known. Today, Candy Renee Trafzer-Bancroft would have turned fifty-three years old. My mother died when I was sixteen years old. I am now twice as old as I was when she died. I have lived half of my life without her being of the living world. This message is to her.

Happy birthday Mom.

I want you to know something. I have only one regret in this world. One thing I would turn back time for if I could. If I could, I would have spent more time with you and I both being of this earth while being proud to be your son. I wish I could have been able to see your face as people beam over our likenesses. I was so busy making my own identity that I rejected the comparison, for I knew in my heart I was losing you for years. I'm so sorry I didn't realize at the time that the qualities I possess that are of you are my greatest features. I thank you, Mom, for my life. I thank you for showing me the things I still know with absolute truth to this day. You showed me a person can make mistakes, can hurt, can love, can fight, can weep, can fall, can lose everything and that what matters at the end of the day, and at the end of all days, is love. Its the love we have for another, and you showed me that in the end of it all, past the pain of our own existence that we can allow to blind us from the truth, you showed me that the Truth is that people are good. That you have to love harder in the face of hate, and that you never let the glamour of anyone or anything take away your backbone and your respect for human life. You taught me that anger does not make you strong, and that tears do not make you weak. You taught me to stand up for what I believe in, and that it is what I believe in that is important, not if someone believes that I believe in it. You taught me what right and wrong is, and that it is my choices that shape the person I am, never what someone else does to me. You showed me that love is the only thing that can save us all. I wish I could go back and change the fact that I never told you how proud I am to be your son for the fact NOT to escape the guilt I feel that I never did tell you, but I wish I could change it so YOU would know that you did a good fu***ng job as a mother. You never needed the approval of a single person on this earth for you to know your truth, therefore I see now that you never bothered to change someone's opinion of you, or to even clarify because who you were was never dependent on the opinions of another person. Certainly not of a person who had values that were so warped they couldn't see you clearly for the woman of strength, of love, and of beauty that you will always be. I wish I could have gotten to see the similarity between us. I wish we could have smiled side by side as people told us how much we look alike. But I am grateful for the pain I feel every May 8th when I think about it. Because it only hurts because I love you so much. I am so sorry I never told you how beautiful you are. I am so sorry I never told you thank you. And I am so sorry that in kindergarten on mothers day, which that year fell on the 8th of may, making it all the more embarrassing that I was only one of three who were supposed to bring home a note that said I tried to grow you a rose but it died... and that I still loved you even though I was one of the three who forgot to water mine for a month. I'm so sorry I wasn't one of the kids who remembered to water it and got to bring home a beautiful flower for you. Im sorry that I then threw the note and the dead flower in the trash and Im sorry that I didn't cover it better before you found it. And Im sorry I cried so hard in your arms for an hour or more when you found it and you held me and said thank you for wanting to do better and you told me it was okay to cry. I cherish that moment now and someday I will plant you another rose, I promise. Thank you for that simple, but so breathtakingly beautiful act of love and acceptance. Thank you for holding me so tight I can smell you right now writing this. Thank you for being who you are. Thank you for being my Mom. I am sorry I couldn't protect you. I love you so, so much. Thank you for giving me life, and thank you for the time we had together. Happy birthday, Mom. I miss you more and more every single day. Our likenesses are my life's greatest accomplishments. I hope I can continue developing into a person unafraid to love as you were. I miss you so, so much. I truly hope you would have been proud of me. I am so proud of you. I love you so much. You're my honey-bunch, sugar-plum, pumpie-umpie umpkin, you're my sweetie-pie. You're my happy-cake, gumdrop, snookum, snookum, you're... the apple of my eye.

💡👁️

Focus on the now ❤

Actually, I consider this post extremely toxic. At the risk of altruism being the only potential loss as a constituting variable, I personally applaud anyone who finds pride in feeding the homeless. I'll clap twice for you. When you are proud to lend a hand to ANYONE in any stage of life that needs a loving hand, I find it much more applause worthy than people sharing consistently there literal obsession with money or violence. And don't think for a split second all the sarcastic violence through your mouth or fingertips aren't violent words, intentions, or thoughts. There's a lot of ways to eminate violent energy, and it starts in a thought. So again I ENCOURAGE people to find pride in healing. Also, what the actual ***k happened to spreading a good message? And to encouraging others to join you? Law of attraction.

I apologize for my harshness.

No I don't. I'm at the gym so thank you this human b**g who wrote this.

!!!!

What a privilege we have to be cheerleaders for students 💛