Journey Points Therapy Services and Yoga Journey

Resharing this from an old post on my personal page as I have been recently reminded of the need to protect children

I Grew up believing: It’s a child’s job to serve adult desires and not knowing it's the adults responsibility to provide for children’s safety.

Earlier I shared some stories of minor boundary crossings and my sensitivity to them. (Yes, admittedly, I am sensitive about this). Additionally, I saw more severe boundaries breached – safety issues. To my knowledge no one addressed them.

Even as a child, I knew the behavior was wrong! Also, I knew it wrong they went unaddressed. I tried to speak up but as a child I was shut down by the infamous statement “kids are meant to be seen and not heard”. That's how I grew up.

In childhood, there was an adult in my family’s close circle who gave off a vibe. I didn't feel safe around them. Valid reasons for feeling unsafe: he abused alcohol, was physically violent towards women and children, and not just his own.

Example he got into a Drunken fight with a woman at a party in front of many people. The conflict escalated, getting physical and he pushed her to the ground on a cement patio. No one said a thing. I stood watching in horror!

When I was a teen I became aware he physically harmed a small child leaving bruises. I desired to protect the child by making a report to Child Protective Services and was told I couldn’t. It would hurt others if I did so.

I called CPS anyways. I was a daycare worker, thus a mandated reporter. Besides that I took protecting children seriously!

The mandated reporter part gave back bone to my morals. Finally I spoke up. It felt scary. It felt good. I felt empowered.

By the time I got married I didn't want this person at the wedding but was told “he needed to be invited. If I didn't it would hurt people's feelings.”

As an adult at getting married, I was expected to prioritize someone else's possible hurt feelings over my desire to feel safe and create safety for guests??? What?!?!

How many times in life have you been asked to put aside your safety needs for someone else's emotional needs/feelings?

Did you comply? If so how did it feel?
Do you regret complying?
Did anything bad happen?
How would you handle such situations at present?

Because I hadn't yet learned to hold boundaries, he was invited. Yes, I complied. It felt icky! I regret it to this day!

Complying with the request to invite him and created my need to provide for safety for guests and myself. To feel better about his presence, I asked trusted people to observe. “If this man starts acting out call the police. Have him removed!” were my directives. I trusted one of the three people asked to follow through. That trusted person wan not part of the sick system I grew up in.

Years later I find out he physically assaulted an adolescent at his place of work. When the parents found out they never addressed it. These parents didn't protect their child. Rather than confront the abuser the child was told to “stay away”.

This child was told to protect themselves from an adult man. This adults enraged parents were afraid of the abuser and thought their child could protect themselves. What message did that send about their worth?

Generations of people protecting an abusive person makes me ill.

Why didn’t adults protect children from this man? Why did no one face him and ask him to face his behaviors?
Was it simply fear of conflict? Was it avoidance? Was it fear of violence towards them? Who knows!

As a person, a parent, and a therapist working with trauma and abuse victims, I often ask myself:

How can we protract children?
How do we break generational patterns?
Do we teach children they're worth fighting for? How?
Their safety and comfort is important! They are precious!
Do we create safe healthy environments? Do children have permission to create safety for themselves?

Over the years I've learned
1) To have a voice
2) To help others find their voice
3) We can do better for children and women and men (they get abused too)
4) It is possible to set and hold boundaries for yourself
5) Kids can speak up to adults and should be listened to
6) We can make the difference
7) Standing up may lead to lost relationships. I’ve lost some through years of using my voice to set boundaries. There are no regrets for the relationships lost due to advocating for safety

Are you curious about ways to talk to children about their safety and well-being? Comment SAPE for access to training information.

If you want to know more about being true to yourself and standing firm in what you believe comment AUTHENTIC

More to come about how I learned to have a voice, how I learned to give children voices and how it went
—Lisa

What did your mat show you recently?

Glaringly true. Our mat is where we show up and it shows us!

My mat is telling me I need to get back to starting my day with myself and my practice rather than awaking to serving perceived needs of others then fit yoga in somewhere.

The system of fitting yoga in somewhere NEVER works for me. Awaking and starting day for me with yoga ALWAYS serves me more than o could have imagined

The mat reflects more than effort.

It shows the mood you arrived with.
The tension you didn't name.
The part of you that wants to perform, push, hide, or hurry.

That's not a problem.

It's part of what makes practice honest.

You can shape the pose for a while.
But breath, pacing, and attention usually tell the deeper truth.

The mat doesn't ask you to impress it.

It asks you to notice what is here.

This is how prepping for a couple of important yoga events this week looks! Practicing in a new location today next to the lit fireplace with small alter to inspire.

What inspires your daily practice?

For me it is changing it up a bit. Practice in new spaces, a different candle, singing bowl, plant, sunshine, music. Looking forward to warmer weather so I can take the practice to the front porch!

From someone who was an expert at what I called “armoring up” to go into situations that were not healthy for me. Now I sta soft and gentle and set boundaries as to where I go and what company I keep.

Now armoring needed.

It’s so freeing.

Here to help you get there too

Instead of toughening up, what if your create boundaries to honor your sensitivity and well being.

What could possibly my make yoga more fun???? Apparently … Doing it in space!

Yoga is "More Fun" in Space, Says the First Woman to Go on a Moon Mission

How NASA astronaut Christina Koch's yoga practice keeps her grounded—even in microgravity.

Read more in the comments 👇️

Childishness vs childlike was a topic im therapy with a client today! This is a recurrent theme with clients so I chose to pose the question here.

How do you differentiate between childish and childlike?

My thoughts will follow in comments… later. I want your thoughts first.