Abide Life Coaching

I don't know about you, but it can get pretty ugly inside me. When that happens, we tend to stuff it. We try to ignore it. We "should" on ourselves...I shouldn't feel this or think that. We label certain feelings, like sadness, anger, shame, etc as bad and then wish them away.
Think of yourself as a garbage can. It can only hold so much garbage, before it starts spilling over. You are the same way! You can only stuff so much, before it starts leaking out. In my case, my garbage comes out and onto the people I love the most. For you, maybe it comes out sideways at the innocent person who just happened to cross paths with you (like the unsuspecting cashier taking too long or the driver in front of you). It doesn't really matter when/how/or to whom....IT WILL SPILL!
So, better out, than in. I am not giving you permission to go tell your boss what you really think of him or her, or tell your child, "I hate you." This is NOT your opportunity to DUMP YOUR GARBAGE ON SOME ONE ELSE and then EXPECT THEMSELVES TO CLEAN UP THE MESS. No! There is a better way.
1. Journal. Take 5 minutes and do not edit yourself. Write it all down. Every nasty thought and feeling. Get the garbage out!
2. Destroy what you wrote!!! Very important. We are not reading this to the person or thing we just wrote about. We don't anyone to accidentally find it and read it. Most of the stuff we wrote isn't true anyway. We just needed to get the garbage out, so we could SEE THE TRUTH! So shred it, tear it, flush it, burn it. But get rid of it.
3. Make a decision to move on. For the rest of the day, you must divert your thoughts from this subject.
4. If needed, repeat the next day.

Do I have your attention now? LOL! It's been awhile, so let's remember the work we have done so far. First we looked at our thinking objectively for one week. No judgement, simply observed our thoughts. Next, we took all those thoughts and embodied them, say in a roommate. We realized this roommate talks constantly, is quite indecisive - even arguing with themselves, tends to think worst case scenarios, and can be down right mean! We decided to fire our roommate!
This is our normal state of mind if we neglect our thinking. It's time to clean up our minds! This week, practice what you put your attention to. Like the paintings above, we can CHOOSE what we magnify or minimize. Georgia O'Keefe chose to magnify the beauty of a flower and blessed us all with new perspective. Margritte used scale to draw our focus, our attention to specific objects. Our minds do the same thing. When we ruminate on our problems, we are magnifying them. The problem receives all of our attention and focus, while we ignore the beauty and goodness all around us. We make mountains out of molehills!
That sounds great, but what do I do when I become aware I have been ruminating? We are not stuffing the problem or judging the thoughts. We are simply aware of it and let it pass, like a cloud in the sky or a leaf in a current. We replace the negative thoughts with a prayer, an affirmation, or an action. We can meditate, focus on our breathing, do a grounding technique, have a mantra ready, just to name a few. We are prepared to do this multiple times, if necessary, as our thoughts will want to drift back into the problem.
I know this post is getting long, but give me your ATTENTION for one minute more! :) I love this story!
An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.
“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

I hope you are prepared to meet Maureen Nadeau. Not only does Maureen create beautiful art, but she can teach you to do the same! She believes "creativity is for EVERYONE!" Maureen has been using creativity as a pathway for HEALING and TRANSFORMATION, helping you connect and listen to your own inner wisdom. Please check out The Soulful Creative, Meditative and Therapeutic Arts, at https://www.maureennadeau.com/ for FREE RESOURCES to get you started on your creative journey today.
Maureen: Full time Mixed Media Artist, Teacher, Creative Guide, and Soul Collage Facilitator offering:
-- Online Classes and In Person Work Shops
-- Creative Retreats
-- One on One in Studio and Discovery Sessions via Zoom
-- Follow Your Flow Creative Coaching Packages
-- Monthly Newsletters
-- Art Prints, Weavings and Moon Face Pendants available for purchase.
You can also find The Soulful Creative on https://www.facebook.com/maureennadeauart/ or https://www.instagram.com/maureen_nadeau_art/

Maureen is an inspiration to me as a woman, business person, and friend. LET HER INSPIRE YOU TOO!

A lot of major religions (some Christian denominations, Hinduism, Buddhism, Islam, etc) utilize Prayer Beads, but give them different names and prayers. They date back to BC. Prayer beads use rhythmic prayer. They integrate the mind, body, spirit. Using your fingers to move from one bead to the next grounds the body and focuses the mind. The mind is able to move beyond thinking and into meditation. The spirit is able to pray and meditate at the same time.
There are a lot of benefits to using Prayer Beads, especially for those with anxiety. Rhythmic Prayer will calm you down. Your breathing stabilizes and blood pressure drops. Your brain is forced to stop thinking, stop judging, and stop sorting. While you are purposefully praying, you naturally have to let go of what is bothering you. Spiritually, it is an act of surrender to put your mind on higher things, to trust in the midst of difficulty, and another opportunity to connect and draw closer with God.

SHOUT OUT SATURDAY!!!
If you are lucky enough to belong to Lake Effects Boat Club, you're lucky enough! Lake Effects has given us access to the lake, without paying the taxes of living on the lake!
We have been members of Lake Effects Boat Club for the past 9 years. My children have literally grown up on their boats. We've enjoyed tubing, swimming, wake boarding, surfing, to dining on the lake. From surf boats, to Tritoons, to double decker slide boats, they have you covered! You show up at your reserved time, and they handle all the details, including the equipment! Seriously, everything is included: life jackets, ski ropes, the boards, even snacks and drinks! No winterizing or maintaining a boat. No slips to lease. No trailering your boat.
The staff is the hardest working crew on Lake Norman with southern hospitality and good old fashioned manners. On the rare occasion we had a complaint, it was resolved right away.
It has been worth every penny we've spent being members. Money cannot buy the good times we've shared and the memories we've made. Thank you Lake Effects!

I was at a parent meeting a couple of weeks ago and heard a new term: LAWNMOWER PARENTS! A lawnmower parent will intervene or "mow down" any person or obstacle that stands in the way of their child to protect their child from failure, disappointment, discomfort, and adversity. As some one who struggles with perfectionism, I can see the good intent in their actions. However, FAILURE and PAIN are inevitable in this life. I would rather my children learn these lessons now, while they still live under my roof, then to learn them "out there". How can we learn resiliency if we never face adversity? How can we learn from our mistakes, if we are constantly being protected from their consequences? Let's be honest, some of the BIGGEST lessons we learned, were also some of the HARDEST. They were transformational. They are now part of our DNA. There is an upside to failure. I know it hurts you as much as it hurts them, maybe more. But on Freedom Friday, I beg you to give your child the gift of failure!

I saw this gratitude jar at the Southern Christmas Show last year and fell in love with it. Chris and my mother-in-law, Regina McClure conspired to get it for me. It has evolved into not only a gratitude jar, but a relationship builder. When inspiration strikes, we will write a quick note of gratitude and give it to some one in the fam. It has to be quick, because the cards are perfectly small. It's nice to come home to a little card on the pillow, your spot at the dining room table, or on your desk. All the notes get deposited in the jar and we plan to get them out later in the year and reread them. You can use note cards and a vase and create your own Gratitude Jar on the cheap. It can be for just for you and your Creator or shared among the people you live with. In my experience, GRATITUDE IS N ACTION, not an attitude. This is one small action that can cultivate gratitude in your life starting today!

It's hard to be grateful for the spiritual battle when you are still in the middle of the war.
Years ago, I had a second trimester miscarriage. I wrestled with God for an entire year. I was so angry at Him for moving us to North Carolina, and then taking that baby from me. I felt so alone. As I look back, I am not grateful for the loss of that baby. However, I am grateful for a lesson I learned in that year. I can cry out in hate or self pity or righteous indignation at my God, who is big enough to handle all my prayers, all my truths, all of me! Isn't that what we all long for anyway? To be truly known (warts and all) and loved anyway? Give your God a chance to love you unconditionally with an honest prayer today!
Looking back, though, is there a time in your life when you fought the good fight? What lessons did you learn? What gifts sprung from that darkness? How did you survive it?
Now, think of a current struggle. Is it possible it is also being worked for the good? Is it possible there is a light in this darkness? Growth in the challenge? Is there a reason to hope?