Healing With Juan - Coaching for Gay Men

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Healing With Juan - Coaching for Gay Men I help gay men grieve what the closet cost them. Live online workshop, Tue Oct 27
The Four Things Gay Men Grieve ↓

It’s not chemistry, it’s recognition…My type has a shape I could describe to you with embarrassing precision, because I’...
10/07/2026

It’s not chemistry, it’s recognition…

My type has a shape I could describe to you with embarrassing precision, because I’ve met him so many times in different bodies.

Masculine in that unbothered way, a little older than me, warm at the start, and then somewhere around the third or fourth week something in him goes quiet.

For years I called that falling in love. Now I know it’s the exact moment an old feeling comes back, and I’m still learning to watch it happen instead of chasing it.

The Second Closet Podcast by Juan Galan launch party is happening right now.

Episode 3 is out today, tomorrow is a catch up day for anyone who’s behind on the practices, and on Friday we meet live, where I’ll pick three winners from the men who finished them.

Comment CLOSET and I’ll send you the link.

10/07/2026

The usual story about gay dating apps is simple: the more men use them, the lonelier and less satisfied they feel.

But the research gets more complicated when you ask why they’re using them.

Men using apps primarily for s*x reported higher self-esteem, greater life satisfaction, and less loneliness than men looking for friendship, relationships, or community.

That challenges the moral story we tend to tell about these apps.
Comment CLOSET to watch the episode.

10/07/2026

I used to think the app was the problem.

But sometimes the app is just a mirror.

Same grid, same men, same city; different outcome depending on what I was carrying:

If I opened it looking for s*x, I usually got s*x.

If I opened it looking to be chosen, I felt the emptiness harder.

If I opened it from shame, nothing on the screen could fix that.

That’s the part nobody tells you.

Deleting the app didn’t change everything. Getting honest about the intention did.

Maybe the real question isn’t “Should I open the app?”

Maybe it’s “Who is opening it—the man, or the boy?”

Comment CLOSET to join the launch party and get access to episodes 1 and 2.

10/07/2026

Night scrolling is never just “horny.”

Sometimes it’s the boy in you trying to get chosen before the feeling in your chest gets too loud.

Grindr wasn’t the whole problem for me. It reflected whatever I brought into it: wanting s*x, wanting love, wanting to be seen, wanting relief.

Same app. Different intention. Different outcome.

That’s the part that changed everything for me:

The behavior doesn’t tell the whole story. The intention does.

The real question isn’t “Should I delete it?” but “Who’s reaching for the phone?”

If you’ve ever done something just to stop the ache for a minute, you’re not alone.

Comment CLOSET to join the launch party and get access to episodes 1 and 2.

It’s not the app 😳🫣After my trip to Italy this summer I couldn’t stop checking the app, for two and a half weeks, even t...
10/06/2026

It’s not the app 😳🫣

After my trip to Italy this summer I couldn’t stop checking the app, for two and a half weeks, even though I had promised myself it was only for the holidays.

The thing that finally broke it wasn’t willpower. It was standing in Barcelona watching the solar eclipse, completely in awe, and feeling that whole charge I’d been carrying finally leave my body.

I tell the full story, including the dates in Sicily that went very differently from what I had planned, in today’s episode.

The Second Closet Podcast by Juan Galan launch party is happening right now.

Every day this week there’s a new episode and a short practice, then a live call together on Friday the 9th, and three of the men who finish the practices will win a prize. It’s day two and you can still join.

Comment CLOSET and I’ll send you the link.

10/06/2026

I thought coming out was the hard part…

Turns out I walked straight into the second closet.

I’ve been out for years, but I was still hiding and performing, chasing, masking, and trying to be chosen.

That’s what this podcast is really about:

🤌🏽 the shame we carry after coming out
🤌🏽 the anxious attachment nobody taught us to name
🤌🏽 the ways we keep living like we’re still unsafe
🤌🏽 Healing is not a finish line.

It’s learning to choose yourself when old patterns show up again.
Maybe you don’t need another way out.

Maybe you need to finally see the room you’re still standing in.

Comment CLOSET to join the podcast launch party and listen to episode 1!

10/06/2026

I came out… but I was still hiding.

The hardest part wasn’t leaving the closet. It was realizing I brought the boy with me.

I called it the second closet - where shame, anxious attachment, the need to be chosen, and old masks kept running the show.

For years, I thought I was just “passionate.” Turns out, I was repeating patterns my body learned before I had words for them.

This podcast is about telling the truth while I keep healing, not pretending I’ve already figured it all out.

If you’ve ever felt like you were still performing after coming out, this is for you.

What lives in your second closet?

Listen to the full episode - comment CLOSET to join the party & listen to episode 1.

10/05/2026

I came out of the closet... and still wasn’t free.

That’s the part nobody talks about.

Drop a 🫶 if this hit you, and save this for the days you feel yourself performing instead of living.

Comment CLOSET to join my podcast launch party and listen to episode 1! 🚀

What I learned is this:

✨ Coming out can remove one layer of hiding, but not the shame underneath it.

✨You can be “out” and still be trying to be chosen, approved, or desired.

✨ Healing is noticing the patterns you kept carrying and choosing yourself anyway.

That’s what the “second closet” means to me. The room changes, but the wound can stay if you never name it.

If you’re a gay man who’s been feeling this too, tell me - are you in your first closet, your second, or somewhere in between?

When I finally told my mom I was gay, she said she already knew…And that she had known since an email I sent her years b...
10/05/2026

When I finally told my mom I was gay, she said she already knew…

And that she had known since an email I sent her years before, crying about a man I had only been seeing for four weeks.

For a long time I told that as a sweet story about a mother’s intuition.

It took me until my mid thirties to understand that the email was evidence of something else entirely, and that’s where the first episode of my podcast begins.

The Second Closet Podcast by Juan Galan launched today with a free party.

Every day this week there’s a new episode and a short practice to go with it, then a live call together on Friday the 9th, and three of the men who finish the practices will win a prize.

You can still join today.

Comment CLOSET and I’ll send you the link.

Biggest takeaway: it’s not the app 😳When I first moved to Barcelona, Grindr became the place I went to find out whether ...
10/05/2026

Biggest takeaway: it’s not the app 😳

When I first moved to Barcelona, Grindr became the place I went to find out whether I was still wanted, and for a long time I honestly thought that was just what being gay looked like.

Nobody around me questioned it, and I didn’t either. It took years, and a lot of very honest conversations with myself, to see what I was really using it for.

I’m launching my new podcast, The Second Closet Podcast by Juan Galan , with a free party starting tomorrow, Monday October 5th.

There’s one episode and one short practice each day, a live call together on Friday the 9th, and prizes for three of the men who finish the practices.

Comment CLOSET and I’ll send you the link to save your seat.

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