Reign Volleyball Orlando

Sharing a post i saw recently. I try my best to get parents to understand this, but it gets harder and harder every year.

Just felt the need to share some thoughts. Playing time is a common theme in volleyball groups. Getting recruited is a common theme in volleyball groups. Parental behavior is a common theme in volleyball groups.

My son just completed his first college season. A friend’s daughter came to see a men’s game, and she has a goal of playing in college.

I was asked what the biggest difference is between club and college, and my answer was “Check your feelings at the door.”

Every player on the roster was the best or second best player on their club. College rosters can run from 14 to 25 players. College coaches get paid to win. If your child isn’t one of the six players who gives that coach the best opportunity to win at any given moment, your child will not be on the court, regardless of how hard they work in practice.

The team always comes first. Check your feelings at the door. As parents you better be prepared to cheer with your whole self for a player that you think your child is better than who is on the court instead of your child. You will need to learn to encourage your child who isn’t getting the court time they are used to while not tearing their teammates down in doing so. Hard work in practice may result in some court time during a blowout, or it may not.

Coaches vary, but most college coaches are going to treat your player as the adult they are, and parental input on coaching decisions will likely not be sought or appreciated if it is brought up.

So consider it a cautionary tale. The promised land of playing in college can be the start of a new and unfamiliar journey for you and your player.

Parents during the match:
• “Start a different lineup”
• “Set MY kid more”
• “Run a different defense”
• “Tell her how to hit”

Parents after the tournament… sitting together:
• Breaking down everything the coach “did wrong”
• Talking about how THEY would run the team
• Questioning every decision…

Right in front of their kids.

And then we wonder why:
• Players lose confidence
• Teams become divided
• Kids stop trusting coaching

You don’t just coach your child…
You shape how they see the entire team.

If you don’t trust the coach—
Don’t quietly tear them down in front of your athlete.

Because now you’re not helping…
You’re just making it harder for your own kid to grow.

Parents think recruiting is only about their athlete…

But college coaches ask ONE question every time:

👉 “What’s the family like?”

And now we gotta decide…

Do we tell them about:
• the constant texts 📱
• the sideline coaching 👀
• the complaints after every tournament 🗣️
• the meetings talking about how “the coach doesn’t know what he’s doing”
• the tears because their kid got coached hard

Or do we protect you?

Because here’s the truth…

If you’re hard to deal with, your athlete becomes a risk.

And college coaches don’t recruit problems.
They recruit peace, accountability, and trust.

So before you send that next message…

Ask yourself:

👉 “Am I helping my kid… or hurting their future?”

🚨 Parents—I'm here for you guys as much as your athlete. And i need you to know: some college coaches have stopped recruiting athletes because of their parents. ✅ Be supportive. ✅️ Be engaged in the process. ✅ Build a relationship with coaches. ❌ Don’t take over your athlete’s process or communication with coaches. Here’s the deal: coaches recruit the whole package. They’re watching how your athlete plays, but they’re also paying attention to how the family communicates. If the parent is overbearing, it makes coaches wonder, “Will I be coaching the athlete…or the parent?” or "Is this athlete even interested? Because im only hearing from the parent." Those red flags alone have ended opportunities for some athletes. Need clarity on your role in recruiting? Book a free discovery call through the link in my bio. #VolleyballRecruiting #CollegeRecruiting #ParentTips #CollegeVolleyball #Recruiting101