XLR8 Martial Arts

Be like postage stamps. Stick to a thing until you get there. -Josh Billings
The hardest part of the journey is staying persistent. When you want to quit, just decide to continue and challenge yourself every day.

Let them fail. F.A.I.L = First Attempt In Learning. Failure isn’t fatal. Building resilience means being uncomfortable and confidence happens while recovering and learning what to do. Stop doing everything for your kids. Let them problem solve. Let them figure things out (without a tablet in their face). Forgot their lunchbox? They’ll eat the school food(or not)and learn it’s their responsibility to remember. Constantly coming to their rescue isn’t being supportive. It’s enabling them to do things for themselves! Building strong, resilient, and confident kids tames being hard on them sometimes.

When we allow our children to quit something when it gets uncomfortable, they miss out on building resilience and frustration tolerance. Often times, kids want to quit out of fear of failure, boredom (the dopamine rush wears off), and sometimes it’s as simple as they’d rather sit at home and play video games. It’s often a way of them testing boundaries with parents and avoiding discomfort. Teaching them to push through the hard, the boredom, and the stressful moments will help them do the same as the adult who needs to finish a big project at work, or the hard work it takes to maintain relationships as they grow up. Being uncomfortable is a part of life. Find a village that supports this with your kids and watch them accomplish goals they never thought they could do!

Raising boys looks a little different than raising girls. You’ve probably heard it before. I certainly did. Turns out, it’s science. Boys don’t learn the same way girls do. Take a kindergarten aged boy for example. They can’t just sit still and focus on what you’re saying very long. They need to run, explore, move, take things apart, wiggle and run. They are programmed to MOVE. Expecting a 5 year old boy to sit still for very long is the best way to set them up for failure. Developing men who have control Over their emotions, mind and body means understanding how their brains work and teaching respect, regulation,and more.

Holding my tongue when it comes to the safety of children has never been easy for me. Schools seem to think a zero tolerance policy will stop bullying. It doesn’t. As a community, we are just as guilty for allowing children to be victims of others, when we don’t demand change. Giving the bully and victim detention, a write up, or whatever they deem necessary, just doesn’t work. Why? You’re punishing the victim so the bully learns nothing. Making a child feel like a prisoner in a place where they should feel safe isn’t working. I’ve often asked myself what it would take for administrators to get it? Losing life hasn’t so what will? Demand a change. Schools, you’re responsible for the safety of all
Students. Not just the families who spend more money. Not just athletes. Not just the kids with the highest tests scores. ALL! If you really want to be a difference maker in life, let’s work together to figure out how to change policies and make them work! I Will never tell a child not to take up for themselves out of fear of being in trouble at school. I will personally buy them some ice cream for being brave and having a back bone! Enough is enough.

Motivation doesn’t keep us going.

Commitment does. The best athletes know this. Bad day? Train anyway. Don’t feel 100%, they over come. Excuses don’t win medals and trophies. They know being uncomfortable is what they need to do to succeed. They don’t always want to do it, but they do it anyway. This isn’t just a sport mentality, it’s what gets us through the hard in life!