09/20/2026
When a father leaves, the mother becomes a “single mother.”
She gets a new label. He remains a “father.” Not absent father, just father.
Language reveals where we place responsibility. Women are so often defined by the absence of men, while men can be absent without their identity as fathers being questioned at all.
In He Said, She Said, I write about the gendered double standards that follow women through motherhood, separation and the family justice system and how ideas about what makes a “good mother” can become another way of judging and controlling women.
It is also why I founded Proudmans, a specialist trauma-informed family law firm. We represent women and children navigating separation, domestic abuse, coercive control and complex children proceedings while working to challenge the assumptions that continue to shape family law.
A woman raising her children is not the story of a man who left.
It is the story of the woman who stayed.
📖 He Said, She Said — available now
⚖️ Family law advice: proudmans.com
