Stephanie Roman

Let’s be clear right up front, triggers are involuntary and many of our *initial internal reactions* are also involuntary. That being said, being triggered doesn’t mean inertia takes over and we are left without choices. Magazine at the nail salon triggering thoughts of dieting? Put it down. Influencer’s content making you question your self worth? Unfollow. Seeing your body in the mirror bringing up negative thoughts? Reframe your self-talk. You get what I mean? Now of course some of these are easier than others, and some become easier over time with practice and support. But the point is, you have options. And finally, the desire to lose weight, the desire to be smaller, the thought that maybe “one more diet” will do the trick, is understandable and not shameful - no matter how long you’ve been working on body acceptance. AND you still have the *choice* to act, or not, on those thoughts. ❤️

//HOW WE THINKS DRIVES WHAT WE DO//
Most of us have been taught all the “rules” of food and body. The noise is deafening, confusing, and focused on some action that will lead us to the promised nirvana of health/perfect body/confidence … fill in the blank as you will.

What if we shifted focus instead to how we think?
To what we believe?
To what ideologies we choose to guide us?

Instead of a list of rules, instead of deprivation, instead of shame and judgment …

What if our thoughts about food and body were rooted in compassion, acceptance, neutrality, and equity for all?

What would that mean for how we feel around, and about, food? What would that mean in how we talked to ourselves? In how we observe our body, and those of others?
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Tomorrow (April 1) is the last day to meet with me and apply for 1:1 coaching. You can find my schedule at the link in bio. ❤️

I somehow didn’t expect it, but my experience getting my first dose of the vaccine was very emotional.
It was impossible to not feel the collective loss and the collective hope as I waited my turn.
Every health care worker and volunteer I encountered was absolutely giddy to be doing their job.
The excitement was palatable.
So much gratitude to all the people who’s names I’ll never know, tireless research, and science that made today possible. ❤️

//HOW I CAN SUPPORT YOU//
The word “coaching” can be pretty ambiguous.
For me, it means providing you ...
• Space for your unique lived experience
• Non-judgmental, no-pressure support
• Education and resources
• Consensual, practical guidance – tailored to you

Maybe you need support most with intuitive eating and diet recovery …
Or coping with internalized fatphobia …
Or moving your body with a joy.
Maybe a combination of all of the above and more.
Perhaps you already have a wealth of knowledge in the anti-diet, body acceptance space. Or maybe you’re just starting out.

To find out what it would be like to work together, book an introductory session with me at the link in bio. We’ll get to know each other and mutually decide if we are a good fit (no pressure or bro marketing tactics, I promise).
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Only accepting 1:1 applications for 1 more week. Link in bio to apply.

//WHAT'S WRONG WITH DIETS?//
Diets are a part of our societal customs and social institutions.
Of course, it would be strange (at first) to question its value. 
 
I created the above to answer the usual flow of questions that arise regarding being anti-diet. This one square can’t begin to fully explain why diets are problematic, but I hope it will be a good jumping off point.  

If you find yourself wanting to know more, or having other questions, please don’t hesitate to comment below or send me a DM. ❤️
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Now through March 31 I'm accepting applications for new 1:1 clients. Link in bio to apply.

What if the fir tree bemoaned its thorny needles instead of revering how lovely they cradle fresh snow?
What if the olive tree compared itself to the statuesque redwood?
And the sequoia felt inadequate because it didn’t bear fruit?
Think of how silly it would be – each one not realizing its unique gifts and beauty.
Do we not run our hand over the smooth bark of birch and the bumps of the green ash tree with the same level of awe?
Do we not relish their differences?
Do we not fully accept each for exactly what they are meant to be? Not more, or less, or different.
What if we could do that for ourselves?
❤️

//THE TIPPING POINT//
A frequently asked question I receive is, what is it that makes a person *finally* give up on dieting and trying to control their body? My answer is the same every time.

They get fed up.
They cannot imagine living one more second fighting with their body and food.
The thought of continuing to diet and feeling miserable in their body is more than they can bear.

If you’ve ever sat on the floor of your bathroom crying over a bump up on the scale, staring down the future decades of your life filled with unsavory foods, hunger pains, and more tears, and wondering how in the world you will get through that, you know what I mean. (yes, this is a scene ripped from my own life!)

That feeling of being fed up is essential to making peace with your body and food. It’s the survival part of your brain kicking in and overriding your societally and culturally influenced consciousness.

But please don’t misunderstand me … getting to that point of frustration does NOT mean a person no longer wants to be smaller. Or that they no longer care about their weight. Because often they still very much care.

A person doesn’t need to stop wanting to lose weight to begin the path to accepting their body. The key is that they now care MORE about being free and their mental state than managing their weight.

It’s a crucial moment, and also a scary one. Choosing to walk away from dieting can be a terrifying release of (perceived) control. But making that choice is the first step to a life fully lived.
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I’ll have room for new 1:1 clients very soon. If you have interest, click the link in bio to apply.

//AHEM, LET ME INTRODUCE MYSELF//
Wow there are a lot of new folks here. So exciting! So, I thought it was about time for an intro post ...

For our purposes here I’m a weight-neutral Certified Health Coach supporting womxn who identify as plus-size or fat in processing body shame, navigating fat bias, recovering from dieting, and embracing their body just as it is right NOW.

I’m a recovering dieter myself and live in a plus size-body so this work is *very* important to me and I’m so grateful that I get to do it!!

A few other facts ...
I live right outside NYC in Union City, NJ
I’m a Mom to a grown up son!
I’m a lifelong writer and am glad to have spent more time on it this last year.
I’m a voracious consumer of information (obsessively reading CNN is practically my hobby)
I research getting a pet on a weekly basis and then always talk myself out of it.
Sometimes Instagram overwhelms me and I ghost it for a while - it’s not you, it’s me.
I LOVE getting to know you all in the comments and DMs so reach out anytime!
Oh! And I’m a co-founder of a community redefining the fat experience by providing tools and resources to thrive! Please join the conversation there too!

Thanks so much for following along with me and I’d love to hear how you found me! Drop it in the comments below. ❤️
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I’ll have room for new 1:1 clients very soon. If you have interest, click the link in bio to apply.

// I AM TIRED //
I come to you with immense privilege as a small-fat, as a white person of decent means, and even still I have days where I hit the wall. Where I'm just so tired of living in a world where people (women especially) are valued by their size. Tired of a culture that automatically equates weight-loss or thinness with health and superhuman discipline (in spite of a little thing called, science). Days where I wonder if all the lovely, strong voices of diet-culture dissenters and will ever be loud enough. Do you ever feel this way? If you do, know this ... being tired means taking a break, hitting pause on scrolling, regrouping, or all of the above.  One thing it doesn't mean is to give up.  ❤️

//LETTING GO OF A BIG SECRET// 
I avoid marketing.  I know, I know, to you this probably doesn't seem like a big secret.  But believe it or not, it is something that brings me shame on almost a daily basis.  It makes me feel like I have no business (ha! no pun intended) being an entrepreneur if I'm not killing the marketing game.  And perhaps what bugs me even more, is that 3 years into this self-employed life, I'm not sure I've yet to nail down exactly *why* this is such a big problem for me. 
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I pride myself on being self-aware.  I'm a coach for crying out loud. I have a reputation for being a get-it-done person. I have overcome obstacles much bigger than THIS. And what's more, I *know* I have something to offer the world that is IMPORTANT. I know that I am GOOD at what I do, and help women in an immense way (I have no lack of confidence around that!) and that it's a crime I'm not doing it on a bigger scale.  And yet, I remain stuck. 
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I get caught up in processes and lists. I get overwhelmed by ALL the content I could and "should" be creating. I play the comparison game with other women business owners that I admire so much. I feel woefully uneducated about how to market - despite having taken world class courses and been mentored by some of the greats!! 
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Bottom-line is I know it's me.  Call it what you want ... getting in my own way, self-sabotaging, playing small ... but the reality is it starts and ends with me.  And damn, some days it feels reallllly safe and appealing to go back to a generous full-time salary with benefits and bonuses and a W-2. 
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I don't have an ask here.  Or some quotable revelation.  I just felt a strong desire today to stop hiding from this truth. Maybe it will help.  Maybe it won't. But I leave it here regardless.  ❤️

// THE BODY CONFERENCE //
I’m honored to have been asked to speak first-ever Body Conference! Together let’s change the New Years narrative around bodies. Details below and link in bio to register! ❤️


・・・
I am so excited to reveal my newest project, a project that is very near and dear to my heart as it’s something that affects us all.

The Body Conference is a community led event that will focus on Self Acceptance, Body Neutrality, and networking.

The event will focus on empowering All people and All bodies in entering the new year with a sense of acceptance, appreciation, and understanding of themselves.
Join a Powerhouse of discussions by Activists, Educators, and Coaches as they discuss their own personal experiences and growth with not only accepting their bodies, but learning to love them. Leading us will be:




And myself
For more information regarding this event please check out the in the bio.
Tickets are $15. If you would like to attend and have a financial issue please feel free to reach out to me.