Holistic Self-Confidence

I’ve heard many people say that being able to do multiple pull-ups in a single gym session must be “really cool.” It is, indeed, cool, but not for the reasons most of those who enviously watch others perform pull-ups might think.

Sure, you could show off. But why would you go through the immense effort of mastering one of the hardest exercises just for show? What’s the real reason behind your wish to have the endurance that would allow you to blast 50, 80, or 100 pull-ups?

Do you want the mental stamina along with the physical strength that comes with this learning curve?

Do you want to build the patience it takes to perform multiple high-quality, full-range-of-motion pull-ups in a gym session that would subsequently help you persevere through other challenging life situations?

Or maybe you want to see for yourself that you can do it and, therefore, begin to trust you’re capable of learning other things you’d love to be able to do well now but, for whatever reason, haven’t ventured into them yet?

So, why is it, really, that you wish you were good at pull-ups or at any other taxing physical exercise, for that matter?

Remember to clean your organic produce from pesticides! 1 tbsp of baking soda and 1 tbsp of sea salt per 2 lbs. of produce, soak in water for 30 minutes. Rinse, dry, store. Repeat next week.

It may seem time-consuming, but having done it for three years now with 100% consistency, I promise you that it is manageable! All I do is shop once a week and batch-clean/dry/store for a week. Plan the night before you go shopping! You can do this!

Make sure to get produce of every color to help your amazing body enjoy true health through the whole complex spectrum of vitamins, minerals, fiber, and antioxidants! Purple, green, red, yellow, and orange for your immune system, hormone balance, heart, brain, gut health, energy, everything!

Website and Amazon links to my holistic confidence guide are in the comment below. It goes way beyond health! E-book at same price everywhere, paperback available only through my website.

Organic vs. Non-GMO

People often get confused by the many labels on produce and packaged foods and just give up on reading these. There are several principles that, once learned, stick with you and help you make better decisions when it comes to your food and, subsequently, health. The difference between organic and non-GMO, for example, still perplexes many but it really isn’t as complicated as it seems.

Non-GMO means that the product hasn’t been grown from genetically modified seeds, which make the entire plant toxic and harmful to health in the long term. GMOs have long been associated with increased cancer risk. The list of GMO products changes slightly every year or so, and these tend to be cheaper than organic products. The other problem is that there are many companies who will put a non-GMO label on their products, without said products actually being GMO-free. Research companies and never trust them wholeheartedly.

When a product is certified organic, on the other hand, the promise of the producer is that they have not used seeds loaded with pesticides AND that the soil they’re growing their produce in has at least 50 minerals, as opposed to the soil used for conventionally grown produce that contains fewer than ten minerals, leading to the poor nutritional quality of the plants grown in it. Do commercial organic companies cut corners to reduce costs and increase profits regardless of regulations? There are several reports that confirm this consumers’ fear. Yet your best bet is still on organic. For now. Just make sure you wash it really, really well, for starters (yes, the half-hour baking soda and sea salt soak is exactly what I’m talking about).

Also, be mindful of the hundreds of products that are not labeled one way or the other and do your best to stay away from those. These belong to the shelf – the store’s, not yours. There are many corporations such as grocery stores or fast-food franchises with non-existing ethical standards that have worked hard over the years to get the labeling requirements removed altogether, so they wouldn’t be held accountable for, basically, making money by selling pure poison to their customers. Know which ones these are in your area and take your business elsewhere if you can. Nobody is to ever put a price on your health!

How People-Pleasing Behaviors Can Negatively Impact Quality of Life Without Notice

I spend a full coaching session discussing people-pleasing tendencies with holistic confidence and integrative functional medicine clients, as being aware of having such predispositions is crucial to developing critical thinking skills and independence in making life-changing decisions. Among the items included in initial client stress-level assessments is an account on how strongly they believe that regularly agreeing with and doing as others say in order not to hurt their feelings, or striving to ruffle someone’s feathers as minimally as possible, would be beneficial to their long-term relationships with various people. I was surprised to find out at the beginning of my coaching path how many people felt genuinely uncomfortable with saying “no,” even in situations where they hardly had any good personal or financial reasons to “go with the flow.” No wonder their confidence was low while their cortisol levels were often elevated and in need of serious attention!

There’s a common misconception that, when we routinely go out of our way to please those around us, it might help elevate stress at work or at home, because they’ll likely choose to treat us more favorably. While this may hold weight on the surface, nothing could be further from the truth when differences in viewpoints have direct impact on your long-term well-being and when honest communication is called for. Not surprisingly, those who’ve displayed people-pleasing attitudes for years find it challenging to express themselves without guilt or fear of judgment, as they’ve let such attitudes play a role in every environment that’s connected to their lives, none of which they’re realistically able to leave right this moment. Consequently, they end up facing initial backlash from people who’ve become accustomed to little, if any, opposition.

If you tend to please people left and right, just because it was instilled in you early on that this was the way to advance safely in life, but you’ve now come to the realization that there might be better ways after all, how does your new identity confront this tendency and the inconveniences of taking a different action from now on? It all depends on how tired you are of your current state of affairs and how pressing a need is to implement true change for all it’s worth. The best part is, you already have answers!

A meaningful change that starts with you and proves hard to bring to realization by fearing that the best solutions would cause conflict in your relationships, is most likely the very change you’ve wanted for a long time but haven’t dared pursue for all the wrong reasons! Once this truth settles in your mind, the significance of others’ opinions will begin to fade at a steady pace. I hope you’re beyond tired of your present situation and eager to take up the risk and confidently move forward despite people’s talk, if you are reading this post! I was once there and I still remember the feeling, so quit being a people-pleaser and get your life in order, one step at a time! You’ve got this!

I Am Currently Renting, How Could I Invest in Real Estate?

Many people who are renters somehow believe it would be extremely hard for them to invest in real estate. But you absolutely can! You may just need to move around a couple of times. It’s all about how open you are to various opportunities and possibilities. And, of course, you will need to be somewhat flexible in the first 3-5 years.

If you wish to start making money with real estate right away, one of the best ways to do so is by purchasing a duplex, triplex, or fourplex as a first-time homeowner. This would require the smallest downpayment and it would get you rid of the rent bill at the same time. My very first real estate property was a fourplex. I have described this in detail in Chapter 11 of my book, “It Really Is Simple: A Holistic Approach to Self-Confidence.” You can grab the book at https://www.holisticselfconfidence.com/shop

The other unit(s) in the building will be occupied by tenants and the rental income will help you with the mortgage and utility payments and, if you structure your deal really well, you may even get to enjoy some cash flow every month while living in one of these apartments practically for free.

Within a year or two, you can decide whether it’s worth it to keep living on the property or get approved for yet another low-downpayment loan, purchase a house, and rent the remaining apartment. From then on, you save the capital from the rental to grow your portfolio and expand your rental business per your long-term goals and needs. Not hard – just busy. But I assure you that your future self will thank you in five years!

Sticking With an Exercise Routine

Getting started on an exercise regimen isn’t the hardest part of the fitness health component, despite popular opinion. I’ve seen countless people start programs at the local gym, whether out of inspiration from watching a video of someone in excellent physical shape or out of guilt or fear following a sobering visit to their doctor’s office. Very few of these people, however, stick with their routines longer than a month or two at best.

What differentiates those who succeed with exercise from those who don’t is good old consistency. Nine times out of ten, this is the biggest challenge with anything that requires commitment before seeing results (and what doesn’t, really?). Exercise is no exception. Successful trainees understand that what appears as boredom on the surface is a golden opportunity to build true character and resilience; what appears as clumsiness, weakness, or embarrassing lack of coordination initially is an invitation to begin understanding your own body by letting it reveal its amazing potential through patience and careful nourishment; and that this nagging feeling of doing too little too late is the best accountability call you’ll ever get, because it puts you in the driver’s seat as your own best health advocate!

Now, here’s what most people miss in the whole sticking-with-the-exercise-routine equation. Willpower is a tremendous driving force, no argument there. It helps you push through with exercise when your mind may be fixated on things at work or at home that didn’t quite go as planned, or when your body just won’t cooperate as much on any given day. However, there is yet another mindset component that works remarkably better than willpower when prioritized with purpose, and that component is your imagination. Imaginaton always prevails over willpower because it truly knows no boundaries, whether in a positive or negative sense. Ask yourself: In the case of exercise and fitness, how strongly can you imagine yourself looking and feeling the way you actually dream to look and feel? The clearer your image, and the stronger you feel it, the sooner you’ll believe not only that it is achievable but that it’s already a fact, and that the time bridge between your current appearance and your goal is a mere formality. That’s what builds long-lasting resolve to never give up on yourself!

Granted, developing your imagination to the level where you won’t allow your present reality to discourage you or invalidate your efforts, does need some training and then consistent reinforcement if all you’re currently running on is sheer willpower, which again, is a magnificent fuel to the mind (yes, I’ve relied on it heavily for years and years myself), but rest assured that this type of endeavor eventually pays off generously in each and every area of your life while the exercise routine is just the beginning of your transformation to lasting success!

Why Oversharing Your Plans Can Be a Problem

Do you love sharing your big plans and aspirations with friends and loved ones at all times? Are you the type of person who can’t live without telling nearly everyone about an exciting new idea or project? Oversharing important goals and action steps with others usually indicates a lack of sufficient confidence in your decisions and, more often than not, ends up being a complete waste of your time. Think about it! You could’ve done some important research or even completed several initial action steps during the precious hours you spent discussing with anyone who’d indulge your talking endlessly about hitting a big one.

Every conversation about your plans and goals, well, after the first two or three anyways, is no longer indicative of eager anticipation to take action but rather a sign of procrastination, a symptom of your fear of failure. We’ve all done it a few times in our lifetimes. Some need all the validation from peers or family they can get and, in the end, they still won’t take the necessary steps to get even an inch closer to their desired outcome. Hence the saying, talk is cheap. And there are hundreds of thousands of people doing this every day.

Learn to trust your aspirations and the decisions that would bring these aspirations to life. You’ve got this! There’s no need of everyone’s approval. Just take the damned first step! Then the next. Work on your goals and plans quietly and consistently. Share with just a couple of people you really trust. Nobody else cares anyway – they all have their own problems, hesitations, and insecurities, so their time is just as valuable. True confidence comes from taking action, not from oversharing for constant outside encouragement. Let your results speak for themselves and then watch the rest of the world catch up to you at its own pace!

Isn’t Investing Risky?

Yes and no. There’s no investment without risk. But considering that the same applies to your driving a car and hundreds of other actions you take daily, things with investing aren’t nearly as bad as they may seem if you follow certain rules (like you do when you drive, hopefully).

The truth most people find inconvenient is that there are two components to investment risk: the market conditions that can affect an investment and the investor him/herself. And, in many cases, the latter component is by far the riskier of the two!

What makes most investors riskier than the actual investments, you might ask? Well, ignorance, ego, laziness, arrogance, greed, fear, panic, lack of strategy, to name just a few, but it’s a longer list. Too many people prefer quick fixes to disciplined
implementation of a long-term plan and end up losing (a lot of) money by attempting to invest based on a “hot tip” they received from a friend or – just as bad – the mainstream media. Experienced investors call this “relying on yesterday’s news,” and for good reason.

Financial proficiency isn’t taught in school, nor is it a frequent dinner conversation topic in most households. The good news is that there are plenty of great books, courses, mentors, and other resources geared towards financial education for those who wish to attain financial independence by careful planning and calculated risk-taking.

Never put your money in something you don’t really understand. First, learn – I know it will seem like a lot, but it truly is learnable. You don’t need to be a math genius: simple tools like calculators exist to help you as needed. But you must be willing to delve into asset classes, subclasses, trending market patterns, bubble cycles, current events, risk management, and other components of investing that most people are quite unwilling to preoccupy themselves with on a daily basis. They prefer to repeat the common mantra in their heads that investing is risky and leave it at that while complaining of being broke or nearly broke.

Understand the potential gain and risk aspects of the asset class that intrigues your mind the most and then take action to build your own financial independence through sound investing! Most importantly, stay focused. Dedicate time to studying one asset class at a time for several months before branching out. You need the time to make small mistakes and improve your risk-management skills while you have small capital to play with. Risk management is not a pleasant concept when the need to apply it knocks on your door, but it is the most important part of your learning process and it’s the part where people with all of the above-mentioned personality problems fail and then quit.

The Types of Exercises That Make a Difference

With so many exercise coaches and athletes offering a large variety of exercise routines online, competing for your permission to get you in great physical shape, what do you choose – short consistent routines, longer sessions, or a variety each week?

First, let’s address the elephant in the room to clear it out of the way. Many of these buff coaches promise you amazing results with “just 10 minutes a day” of whatever routine of five, six, or seven “moves” they’ve chosen for their video. Yeah? Ten minutes? Look at them! Do you believe that most of these fit people really just do ten minutes of this-or-that here-and-there consistently? No! The only true part in their promise is the consistency piece. But make absolutely no mistake about this: for most of them to look the way they do during their beautifully made videos, rest assured they perform a lot more exercise daily than what they claim in order to get you hooked on their programs! As it should be, anyways. The issue is, they first tell you it isn’t that hard, but if you actually buy their programs, you’ll quickly find out otherwise and may very well give up if you were expecting an easy fix to your sticking-out gut and butt, or flabby arms and thighs. If you’ve let yourself go that far, it ain’t gonna be easy! And, on the other hand, if you already have an amazingly toned body, you’re beyond aware that luck wasn’t the determining factor.

If you are serious about your physical, mental and emotional condition on a daily basis, you already know that exercising at least 4-5 days a week is simply non-negotiable. The question is, if you aren’t a professional bodybuilder or competitive athlete, meaning, you are unlikely to be spending 4-7 hours daily at the gym, what routines would be most beneficial in terms of creating and maintaining a harmonious, strong, lean, and agile body that will serve you for the next 40-50 years? You must be aware of muscle vs joint pain during or after exercise – the former is good, while the latter requires vigilance and modification, especially if you’re past the age of 45.

Now, taking time constraints/daily obligations into consideration, as well as potential age-related complications and setbacks, I always(!) focus on compound exercise. I don’t bother with routines that isolate just one or two muscles at a time. Yes, some of these might make you look pretty in places, but when it comes to endurance and overall balanced muscle strength, these won’t take you too far in the long term. My boyfriend, Jeff, loves saying: “There are two types of strong that you will never beat at the gym: farmer strong and construction worker strong!” That’s right – those guys don’t just casually work out specific muscles as their mood of the day dictates!

My personal absolute non-negotiables are pull-ups, dips, pushups, kettle bells, back and side-kicks with weights, 100 squats with weights (sets of 10-20) or 300 without weights (sets of 100), animal flows, cycling at full resistance from start to finish, and running at a slight uphill. While these aren’t the only exercises I perform, they are the musts that can be distributed among workouts in clusters of three or four minimum.

I have discussed this extensively in Chapter 6 of my book, because I find it beneficial to have a body that screams health and strength from a mile. It is a testament to self-respect, which automatically sets the tone in the ways others treat you, often from the moment you first meet them. When your body weight reflects over 90% muscle mass, people somehow are less likely to question your commitments and discipline. They also lose their drive to argue unnecessarily, which clears in advance a tremendous amount of verbal clutter in most conversations.

To be clear, this is the exact opposite of seeking or (worse yet) craving approval. Rather, it’s all about having long stopped worrying about what others think about you, because you know your value with no need for their validation!