Tyona Vallejo

Go click the link 🔗 in bio to listen to this episode….Finding Yourself Beneath the Beliefs You Inherited with Audra Phelps, M.Sc, PNLP .

This was such a fun conversation!

Audra shares about her journey of self discovery & transformation after leaving the LDS community. She offers her insights on navigating through life altering changes, how to challenge old beliefs, & reclaiming a sense of self worth & identity.

I hope you enjoy this episode of the Enough & Evolving Podcast as much as I did.

And Audra is so graciously offering podcast listeners a 50% discount on an individual 1-1 coaching session with her. You can find more info at mamaaudra.com/oneonone

I thought I needed new clothes. What I really needed was clarity.

My closet had become crowded with things that didn’t fit quite right, didn’t feel good or simply weren’t me anymore. And all of that visual and mental noise was making it harder to see the pieces I genuinely loved.

Once I cleared everything out, I had so much fun creating new outfits from what I already owned. My closet felt lighter, my decisions felt easier and I felt more inspired to express myself again.

This is why organization can be so regulating.

When there is less competing for our attention, our nervous system has less information to process. We create more space to think clearly, care for our responsibilities and show up confidently.

And maybe that’s a metaphor for midlife, too.

Sometimes reconnecting with yourself isn’t about becoming someone completely new. It’s about releasing what no longer fits so you can more clearly see and appreciate the woman you already are.

What is one small space in your life that could use an intentional reset?

Date night w the hubby!!

And honestly, I couldn’t help but feel so proud of us and how far we’ve come.
30+ years together, and we’re still choosing each other despite all the challenges we’ve experienced.

Looking back, I’m definitely grateful for those challenges b/c they’ve lead to what we know today.

One of the biggest lessons, I’ve learned wasn’t a typical marriage tip.
It was actually understanding our nervous systems.

For years, we both took things personally & blamed each other for what we were feeling.

Let me know if this sounds familiar….
A certain tone of voice can feel like rejection.
A bad mood feels unsafe.
Silence feels like something is wrong.

What I didn’t understand back then, was that my nervous system was interpreting ordinary neutral moments as potential threats.

And his nervous system was doing the exact same thing.

But the moment I realized it wasn’t me versus him...
It was often my nervous system versus his nervous system...
Everything started to change.

Learning to regulate my nervous system helped me pause instead of react.
To become curious instead of defensive.
And to ask, “What’s happening here?” instead of assuming the worst.

Because when we feel safe inside ourselves, we stop expecting other people to create that safety for us.

Now, don’t get me wrong—we’re still human.
We still get triggered.

But instead of making each other the enemy, we recognize what’s happening beneath the surface.

And that’s allowed us to communicate with so much more compassion, patience, and understanding.

If you’re constantly taking things personally or feeling misunderstood, it doesn’t necessarily mean your relationship is broken.
It may simply mean your nervous system is trying to protect you.

When you learn to work with your nervous system instead of against it, you don’t just change your reactions...
You change your relationships.

Save this for the next time a conversation feels triggering. And share it with someone who could use a little more compassion in their relationships.

One of the biggest things I’ve learned from showing up on social media is this:

Confidence doesn’t always come before you take action.

Most of the time, confidence is built because you took action.

Last month, I challenged myself to show up more consistently on social media—and even start a new TikTok account.

And I’m proud to say I’ve been showing up almost every day.

Not perfectly.
Not always feeling ready.
And definitely not always feeling confident.

Sometimes, when I’m recording or getting ready to press post, my mind still worries:

‘What if I sound dumb?’
‘What if people misunderstand me?’
‘What if this doesn’t resonate?’

But I’m realizing that gaining confidence isn’t about eliminating those fears.

It’s about changing my relationship with them.

I can notice the fear & normalize it.

And I can remind myself that my nervous system might simply need a little reassurance.

Sometimes that looks like placing my hand on my heart, taking a deep breath, and saying:

‘I am safe. I believe in what I’m sharing. And I can do this.’

Then I choose to act with courage and conviction in my mission—even while some doubt is still present.

Because every time I show up before I feel completely ready, I prove to myself that I can have my own back.

That’s how confidence is created.

And that’s how momentum grows—not by waiting until you’re fearless, but by becoming willing to be visible while the fear is still there.

So, what if confidence isn’t required for your next step?

What if confidence is what’s waiting for you on the other side of taking it?

What if the person ruining your mood isn’t actually the problem?

Maybe you’re already thinking:

‘My coworker is going to be late again.’
‘My spouse won’t support me.’
‘My kids aren’t going to listen.’

Your mind may be predicting what will happen based on what has happened in the past—
and your nervous system may be responding as though it’s already happening.

So before the interaction even begins, you’re feeling anxious, guarded, disappointed or angry.

This doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you. Your brain is designed to predict outcomes based on past experiences. It believes it’s protecting you.

But a prediction is not a fact.

When you notice yourself becoming emotionally activated, pause and ask:

‘What is actually happening right now?’
‘What are the facts—and what is the story my mind is adding?’
‘Can I allow this moment to be new?’

This simple practice creates space between you and the story.

You stop allowing an imagined future to control your present mood.

You become available to respond to what is actually happening—and that’s where your power lives.

Your happiness isn’t created by controlling how everyone else behaves.

It’s created by becoming more intentional about what you choose to believe, focus on and practice.

Save this for the next time your mind starts predicting the worst—and share it with someone who needs the reminder. 🤍

Welcome to 60-Second Resets—quick practices to help you calm your mind, reconnect with your body, and regulate your nervous system.

If your thoughts are racing, place both feet on the floor.
Press down gently and notice the support beneath you.
Now look around the room and slowly name three things you can see.

Place a hand over your heart and take a slow breath in.
Exhale a little longer than you inhaled.

Remind yourself:
‘I am here. I am supported. I am safe in this moment.’

You don’t have to solve everything right now. You only need to return to this moment.

Save this reset for the next time your mind feels overwhelmed.