10/06/2026
**⚠️ Content warning: self harm / suicidal ideation**
I’ve got to be honest with you all.
I’m really sad and hurt right now.
Have you ever had to cut your pizza with scissors?
Or use a plastic knife to cut vegetables because having anything sharp around could become an opportunity for self-harm?
I hope you never have to.
Because this is what severe mental illness can look like behind closed doors.
It looks like sitting beside someone for hours because they don’t want to be alone with the thoughts telling them they don’t want to exist.
It looks like getting through the day minute by minute. Removing anything that could cause harm. Trying to navigate a mental health system that doesn’t have enough support. And somehow still trying to be a parent, run a business, maintain relationships, and take care of yourself.
I’ve had a couple of long-time friends hurt my heart this week.
Out of what they say is love and concern, they told me that my relationship with my child is unhealthy or possessive.
But they didn’t ask what was actually happening.
They didn’t ask how I was doing.
They didn’t ask what these last two months have looked like.
They saw a small piece of an incredibly complicated situation and made a judgment from the outside.
And I think that’s the part that hurts most.
I don’t need anyone to fix this for me. I don’t need anyone to have the answers.
I just need the people who love me to understand that I am not choosing to spend every waking moment wrapped up in my child’s life.
I am a mother trying to keep my child alive.
And some days, that means sitting beside them while they hurt because I cannot take their pain away—but I can make sure they don’t have to face it alone.
I’m tired. I’m scared. I’m sad.
And I’m still here.
Still loving.
Still showing up.
Still trying to find a way through.
