Monster Longe

"The man to know if your favorite F-word is…fitness"

Operating as usual

The Sets And Reps Gazette: New Year's Edition 01/01/2024

The Sets And Reps Gazette: New Year's Edition -

The Sets And Reps Gazette: New Year's Edition Volume 8 | Number 268 | 2024 Reading time: 2 min. I wanted to send this out at 12:00 AM on the dot… …then I remembered that you probably wouldn't be in any condition to read thanks to the champagne toasts and excessive alcohol consumption throughout the intervening hours leading up to ringin...

The Sets And Reps Gazette: #261 03/29/2023

The Sets And Reps Gazette: #261 -

The Sets And Reps Gazette: #261 What do you need to get the body of your dreams? Is it to eat right? Train hard? Be an adult who goes to bed at a reasonable time to get adequate sleep and reap the restorative effects of it? Ha, don’t be a fu***ng idiot! What you need are supplements, but do the supps you see on social media, els...

The Sets And Reps Gazette: #257 03/01/2023

The Sets And Reps Gazette: #257 -

The Sets And Reps Gazette: #257 Are you thinking of taking supplements? If that very trustworthy marketing campaign for XYZ product has successfully done its job, then of course you're thinking of taking supplements! As that TV or magazine ad for XYZ product would have you believe, supplements are the answer to your problem. From....

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: #251 01/18/2023

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: #251 -

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: #251 Do you want to lose weight but don't know how much food to eat? Are you tired of trying to figure out what to eat every day? Boy do I have the solution you've been looking for! A meal plan from my Macro Coaching program includes delicious, healthy meals that are tailored to your specific dietary n...

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: #1 01/08/2023

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: #1 -

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: #1 Do you have a holiday hangover? Pbbbt, how the f**k would I know?!?! You having one or not depends on how familiar the following familiar scenario sounds. And what exactly is that familiar scenario?! Well, the familiar scenario is that the holidays are over but you’re still laying on the couch and...

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: New Year's Edition 01/01/2023

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: New Year's Edition -

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: New Year's Edition I wanted to send this out at 12:00 AM on the dot… …then I remembered that I have readers in different parts of the world (*absolutely not humble brag*) and it would take faaaaaaar toooooooo much effort to have you receive this at midnight in your respective time zones. So if you're reading this ...

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: Happy Whatever Edition 12/26/2022

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: Happy Whatever Edition -

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: Happy Whatever Edition This holiday season, I'd like to wish you a happy whatever the f**k it is you celebrate, whether that be Christmas, Hanukkah, Ramadan, Kwanzaa, Festivus, Chrismukkah, etc. So happy whatever the f**k it is you celebrate!!! And if whatever the f**k it is you celebrate is already over or hasn't even be...

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: Christmas Edition 12/21/2022

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: Christmas Edition -

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: Christmas Edition Are you a heathen who’s doomed to burn in hellfire for not believing in Christ because you’re Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, Sikh, or some other religion that has you worthy of eternal damnation? Huh, ARE YOU?!?! Because you’re not a heathen but someone who had the accident of birth of being...

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: #27 (2022) 11/25/2022

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: #27 (2022) -

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: #27 (2022) I hope you enjoyed the holiday yesterday. Speaking to that, I'm curious how many calories you burned by running away from the history behind Thanksgiving? Inquiring minds want to know!

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: Gobble Gobble Edition 11/22/2022

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: Gobble Gobble Edition -

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: Gobble Gobble Edition Today's newsletter is the Thanksgiving edition. May it save some of you from the damage you're going to inflict on yourselves on the holiday that you may very well not celebrate in your part of the globe but I'm acting like you do because the entire planet is 'Murica. U.S.A., MO********ER!!! … In ...

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: #25 (2022) 11/16/2022

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: #25 (2022) -

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: #25 (2022) Do you listen to music while working out?⁣ ⁣ Wait, do you even work out?⁣ ⁣ Hmmmmm… ⁣ Well, if you do work out but don't listen to tunes while doing so, you probably should.⁣ ⁣ Oh, what benefit does working out with music offer?

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: #24 (2022) 10/26/2022

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: #24 (2022) -

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: #24 (2022) Today, I'm sharing an old meal plan that was created for one of my clients. Use it to get an idea of what you can do with your own. As a note, these calories and macros that you’re going to use (despite these fu***ng directions not to) won’t do s**t for you if you’re not the same age, weight, ...

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: #23 (2022) 10/19/2022

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: #23 (2022) -

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: #23 (2022) I'm too busy for the normal cordiality and small talk you've all grown to know and love. I know, you've looked forward to it all week since the last newsletter so it's a total bummer! Well, while there's nothing I can do about my busy schedule until I meet a wealthy older woman who's looking for a b...

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: #22 (2022) 10/12/2022

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The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: #22 (2022) If you follow my most active Instagram account, you'll recall a quiz question from a few weeks ago about ultra-processed foods. Yeah, it was the question about what percentage of the calories eaten by American adults come from ultra-processed foods. The answer to that question was... Yes, ultra-pr...

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: #21 (2022) 10/05/2022

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: #21 (2022) -

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: #21 (2022) Here's a leg workout for you to try, kiddies! Sure, there are very specific ways that I want the exercises performed, none of which I've provided video and written instructions of. But hey, this is a cookie-cutter program. What the f**k do I look like to you? Your coach? Ha! Disclaimer: Exercise is....

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: #20 (2022) 09/28/2022

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: #20 (2022) -

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: #20 (2022) Some have no problem counting calories and tracking everything they eat. The same can’t be said for others. Instead, counting calories is a complete turn-off because it involves very advanced math concepts, like addition and subtraction. Yeah, that s**t is hard! As if having to deal with Einsteini...

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: #19 (2022) 09/21/2022

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: #19 (2022) -

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: #19 (2022) Today, I'm sharing an old meal plan that was created for one of my clients. Use it to get an idea of what you can do with your own. As a note, these calories and macros that you’re going to use (despite these fu***ng directions not to) won’t do s**t for you if you’re not the same age, weight, ...

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: #18 (2022) 09/14/2022

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The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: #18 (2022) I've fallen into the trap of creating content for my various social media accounts to the detriment of the platform I own and should be more concerned with, which is my website. Because that's kind of dumb and I imagine myself as not kind of dumb, I'm scaling alllllllllllllll the waaaayyyyyyy back...

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: #17 (2022) 09/04/2022

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: #17 (2022) -

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: #17 (2022) How's your weekend coming along? That's good, but what do you say to it being made even better? My new book, Does This Diet Work?, is now available on Amazon and is available for FREE for the next few hours before I raise it to its exorbitant price of $9.99! If you download yourself a copy, it'd be....

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: Labor Day Edition 08/31/2022

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: Labor Day Edition -

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: Labor Day Edition I'm slowly wending my way to completion of a couple of projects that have had me preoccupied over the past few months. I know, that means the return of a newsletter with regular frequency rather than one that's sent out every once in a while. Please, contain your excitement!

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: #14 (2022) 08/17/2022

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: #14 (2022) -

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: #14 (2022) I don't know if you've noticed that things have been quiet around here. That's mostly because I've spent the past 11 months working on a new book. Anyway, I'm putting the finishing touches on it and have advance copies out to a select group of people to read before its release in a number of weeks.....

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: 4th Of July Edition 06/30/2022

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: 4th Of July Edition - https://mailchi.mp/0be467085927/the-i-cant-believe-i-signed-up-for-this-newsletter-16-15025061

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: 4th Of July Edition I kinda think of myself as a hero. Know why? Because it's this close to the 4th of July holiday weekend and you've been losing countless nights of sleep leading up to it from worrying about the damage you're going to inflict on yourself during the many celebrations commemorating Independence Day a...

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: Memorial Day Edition 05/26/2022

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: Memorial Day Edition - https://mailchi.mp/61e6dd582980/the-i-cant-believe-i-signed-up-for-this-newsletter-12-14976077

The "I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This" Newsletter: Memorial Day Edition The last Monday of May is quickly approaching, and you know what that means! ... Oh, but you don't know what that means?! Well, you should if you live in the U.S. and are patriotic like a true American! Because you're either a disgrace for an American who doesn't wrap themselves from head to toe in....

Monster Fu**ed Up (A Day That Shall Live In Infamy) 04/28/2022

Monster Fu**ed Up (A Day That Shall Live In Infamy) - https://mailchi.mp/3ca59ebea197/the-i-cant-believe-i-signed-up-for-this-newsletter-11-14971745

Monster Fu**ed Up (A Day That Shall Live In Infamy) There was a typo in today's newsletter and it was brought to my attention that the links for the downloads weren't working properly. As a**l as I am about things, me making simple mistakes like these is a sign that it's about time for me to take a vacation, as I've been busy with clients and I'm wo...

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2949 Garnet Avenue
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