Joy Jones Coaching

Belief systems....What are they and how do they serve me? Let’s be honest, in most places our belief systems are given to us through environments, family structures, or cultural norms. Most of the time when we think of belief systems it is aligned to some form of religion because that’s what we believed to be true in the societies around us.

But belief systems are something greater than what was hanging on the wall of a living room, they are truly how we choose to live our life every day. They are part of our senses, feelings, experiences, spirituality, connection to self, connection to others, and the natural world around us.

Creating belief systems instills purpose and values. When we don’t have beliefs then we don’t have values. And when we don’t have values we don’t have purpose. And when we don’t have purpose we don’t have meaning. Which means we live for everything else, except for the belief of our true light and inner self being purposefully and energetically here for reason.

You can align with your belief systems by going deeper into who you are by connecting with me. I’m not here to tell you what to believe but I can guide you to find what your innermost self is desiring for you to live by with a belief system to support and lift you in every decision you make. I promise you, these belief systems will be the bedrock on who you are in the world.

By connecting with me, we will dive deeper into
👁️values
👁️experiences
👁️spirituality
👁️visions
👁️knowledge
👁️energy
👁️environment
👁️feeling
to find how to live in your true light instead of the light of the world🌿

Becoming smaller allows us to truly understand the nature of control. Society often convinces us that we hold the reins to everything; our environment, our relationships, our finances. But in reality, the only thing we truly control is ourselves.

When trying to control all areas of life we start believing that we control other people, our money, our environments, even our decisions. In reality 45% of our behaviors and decisions are habitual. That means almost half of our behavior or decisions are done subconsciously! This is eye-opening and absolutely humbling as it provides a window into the world of control. Our lives that we feel dictated over handed to habitual acts, often passed down through generations, societal norms, childhood traumas, or personal character, like how we react without thinking or how we might fall into autopilot when we are stressed out.

So, what does it mean to relinquish control and become smaller?
1) Let go of what we can’t control
2) Ask one question about what we want to change
3) Wait for the answer to come
4) Start small

Our habits are powerful as they shape who we are without us even realizing it. Changing them takes patience, courage, and the resilience to stay mindful of what truly matters. So take a moment to listen closely. To become smaller is to surrender the need to control, and instead, embrace the quiet strength of simply being.

As we question what’s happening around our communities, societies, and the world, some may wonder, ‘How did we get here?’

As a mixed-race Latina raised in both Latino and white communities, both marked by poverty, you quickly see the differences. The housing, the interactions, the groups of people, the violence—and most of all, the resources. They’re scarce. In a world where everything feels out of reach, you learn to surrender—not to the system that seeks to control you, but to the people you trust will catch you. This surrender doesn’t mean giving up; it means finding purpose and freedom. It’s about leaning into yourself and the communities that stand with you.

We must recognize that true power lies not in control, but in the willingness to surrender to what truly matters—community, trust, and the resilience within ourselves. As we face systemic challenges, it’s crucial to stand together, support one another, and fight for the resources and justice we deserve. It’s time to challenge the systems that divide us and rebuild with a foundation of purpose, freedom, and shared responsibility. We each have the power to contribute, to create change, and to build communities where no one is left behind. The question now is: What will you do to make that difference?

I’m here as a guide and reflector to help you in finding that difference, to listen to the voice inside that continues to call you home to yourself and the people around you. A 30 minute free call is all it takes.

We’ve all been caught in the “what if” cycle, the fear-driven questions that keep us awake at night.

“What if I don’t get the promotion?”
“What if they misunderstand me?”
“What if something happens to them?”

These thoughts make us feel like if we worry enough, we can control the outcome. But in reality, they only trap us in fear and keep us from acting, from being.

Here’s the truth: we can’t control everything. And that’s okay. As parents, partners, or friends, we’re not meant to solve every problem for others. Instead, we’re here to give them the tools to figure things out themselves.

So, instead of “what if,” try “suppose.”

“Suppose I don’t get the promotion—what else is out there for me?”
“Suppose I send this email—I’ve been clear and honest, and that’s enough.”
“Suppose they get hurt—this will teach them, and they’ll grow from it.”

When we shift to “suppose,” we stop running from fear and start facing it with courage. We start living, growing, and trusting ourselves—and the people we care about—to find solutions. It’s not about having control, but about having trust. It’s about living in truth.

We’ve been taught to control. Control our emotions. Control our reactions. Control the narrative. We’ve set up lives that focus on outward success, making sure everything looks right on the surface. But in this pursuit of control, we’ve tuned out the calls from within, the loud vibrations of our heart, soul, and mind. The calls of our own inner world—and the world outside us—demand to be heard, yet we ignore them, fearing that if we truly listen, we might have to give up .

Relinquishing control means:
🌿 feeling the raw emotions
🌿 letting go of control
🌿 taking action from where control doesn’t rule
🌿 being honest

When society holds you in a mold these emotions are often not held in fear of losing something, whether that’s lifestyle, financial needs, a relationship, or protection from not spiraling. Letting go of what could be, let us stand in being in our true authentic self.

“To let go does not mean to get rid of. To let go means to let be. When we let be with compassion, things come and go on their own” –Jack Kornfield

When you say this out loud it ignites in your body a deep listening to your heart and soul. It is your higher teacher, guide, and voice speaking to you, letting you know how to love yourself so you can love others. It is the teacher, guide, and voice giving you permission to mute the societal norm to be alive in yourself. Listening to self is your power to stand in enoughness. It’s not what you possess, it is what is inside you. It’s not just successes, but the failures. It’s not about perfection, it is about being your true self. This is what you are born to do. Being in your body is the greatest form of being.

Often we think of joy as a feeling and expression. It comes and goes with what is happening. But joy is not fleeting, it is fully present in all that happens in and around us. When we sit in the understanding of what joy is, it is what is and what is present. You see the feeling that swells up in us when life occurs is a true feeling of what joy encompasses. It is the unwavering expression of your desire and spirit even in the toughest of times.

I forever remember losing our baby six months into our pregnancy, and it was anything than joyous. If anything it was dark, overwhelming, and of deep grief and sadness. This is where joy comes in. While sitting in the deep sorrow that enveloped my whole being as milk filled my breasts and my body healed from holding a baby, was the deep desire and presence of knowing that this was the journey to understanding these real, raw emotions. I didn’t stand up and stand in happiness for some time but I was able to get up and move into the moments that came. This joy is what held me in knowing that I could overcome pain and carry loss on this scale. I was being part of the process that would shape and mold who I was becoming. You see, when I tried to fill it with things that made me happy (often to ignore or deny what was happening) I found myself more at a loss than if I was just with what was happening. The thing I learned is happiness is fleeting, it comes and goes, but joy holds you in place. It roots you to your soul and spirit that carry you through the life experiences and journeys that are yours to walk through.

As you think about your joy today, how is it grounding you in the depths of who you are without trying to waiver you into territory of fleeting moments? How are your practices keeping this joy alive when life hands you the deck you weren’t prepared for? What is your joy in the dark and the light?

What is joy?

We think of decisions as moments in our lives that make or break us. We hem and haw over what the BEST decision is, often leaving us spiraling; where should I live, what’s the best food to eat, where should my kids go to school, what career should I be in. Any of these questions have an infinite amount of answers associated to them. When you think about it, we are connected to a world of infinite possibilities. Ask someone about their diet and it will be different from the last person we asked. Look for a career and there could be new career opportunities popping up. Try to find the best place to live and we’ll have an endless list of possibilities. There is no good or bad decision for any of these, it comes down to the decision that aligns most for us and our lives.

You see our decisions are connected to our values, beliefs, and assumptions about the world around us. But if we are not connected to our own value and belief systems we will often make decisions for others (family, friends, society). We consciously or subconsciously make big decisions for ourselves based on these systems we live by. So when we think about it, all our decisions actually bring us closer to knowing ourselves better and teaching us what we like and don’t like about certain aspects in life. Yes, decisions tell us more about ourselves, help us grow, and teach us how to align more with our values and beliefs.

When making a decision take some time to align with yourself, to listen closer to your intuition, and find the values/goals associated with your choice.

Decisions are neither good or bad. They actually teach us about our values and beliefs.

When we’re living through a major change or decision things can begin to spiral. We lean into comparisons with others, shift in our innate feelings and thoughts about ourselves, sink into loneliness, and feel weary of any choices we need to make. Change is a shifting element, but also very much a part of life. Change is part of who we are and who we become, and we don’t know what is going to happen from one moment to the next. We do know we have the present to listen to what we need in the moment of shifting sand and unwavering decision making, we just need to make the time and space to listen to it.

Oftentimes big changes start small. Yes! Change doesn’t have to be this big movement but can be a shift in our thoughts and feelings that can help with making bigger decisions. To be honest, there’s no magic choice, no decision that is better than the other because when we are at the heart of our choices, it is the right choice for us in that moment. The fact is, we’re living our life day in and day out so when we put our outcomes on our needs, it will eventually shift our ability to live in the change and be with it, often giving us more space to think through the bigger choices that need to be made.

When moving through change we can:
🔮Make time to be with ourselves to listen to our thoughts, feelings, and needs (not wants or gratifications from others, our personal needs).
🔮Feel all the feels. We need to normalize feeling down or sad as part of our learning and processing difficult moments in time. If we’re sad, say it. If we’re feeling upset, speak it. Feeling through our changes is important to move through them. We don’t have to justify being happy.
🔮Connect with community to share fears and thoughts. We can always ask our community to listen if we don’t feel like receiving new information or getting advice.
🔮Find someone we look up to to offer insight. This could be a therapist, coach, mother, mentor. Anyone we admire and align with.