POEE

Operation Stockholm Syndrome in process.

Reports are starting to stream in from multiple sources regarding a mysterious medical anomaly which scientists have begun to refer to as “Patient Infinity.”

An unnamed gutterpunk, who was found sleeping under a spiky blanket made of knitted COVID-19 in an alley in New Orleans, was assumed to be infected with the widespread panic.

However, it developed that three consecutive tests registered negative for the virus, despite the dumpster-diver being wrapped in a twenty-pound jangling mass of it.

Further excitement ensued when the CIA, attempting to infect the subject directly, reported that conditions were so hostile in the inveterate bloodstream that neither coronavirus nor a dozen other dangerous infectious agents could survive. Several intelligence operatives also fell in the line of duty, unable to survive the unsavory olfactory blend of Mad Dog and cat p**s.

Patient Infinity is now being held at Mara-a-Lago Resort, where rumors suggest he’s been offered employment as a golf caddy.

Golden Apple from The Original Joke

"Once a couple withheld an invitation
From Eris due to Her bad reputation
They wanted to host a quiet affair
And thought it best if She weren’t there

The Goddess of Discord took great offense
Tired of always being barred from events
Her social calendar in complete disarray
With nothing at all to do on that day

So, Eris hatched a scheme to incite
The most mythically epic cat-scratch fight
Over which Goddess reigned supreme
Now, this might seem rather extreme
But when She was done and through
We’d all get an etiquette lesson or two

Now, Paris of Troy was given
His pick of bribes
Wisdom or power or the most winsome bride
Well, the prize, surprise, fell to his vanity
For Paris didn’t want to be wise or mighty

But Helen came with a few strings attached
So a king brought an army to fetch her back
Seemed the prince’s fiancée
Was previously engaged
To a powerful gangster
Well-known for his rage

It’s a pretty petty reason to start a war
But every Golden Apple
Has a worm in the core
So better set a plate for Eris at your soirée
For She’s bound to be there either way"

Golden Apple – Air Lift Underground JULIA Once a couple withheld an invitation From Eris due to Her bad reputation They wanted to host a quiet affair And thought it best if She weren’t there

"Entertain your visions in seclusion
They’ll call it a raving mad delusion
But get enough other kooks to join in
And all of a sudden they call it a religion
I’m a tad mad batty I must admit
Why deny it if the straitjacket fits?
Well, life’s a joke and we’re the butts
So not being crazy would be a little bit nuts!"
-Gonzo Bonkers by Air Lift Underground
Listen now on Bandcamp

Gonzo Bonkers, by Air Lift Underground from the album No Mind Left Unblown

Non serviam.

How does one achieve eternal bliss?

By saying dada.

Be assured, Schrodinger's Kitty is plotting her revenge!

Principia Discordia pg. 23

Demon possession is unfairly demonized.

This is a public service announcement.

Some Great Books are recognized at once with a fusillade of critical huzzahs and gonfolons, like Joyce's Ulysses. Others appear almost furtively and are only discovered 50 years later, like Moby Dick or Mendel's great essay on genetics. The Principia Discordia entered our space-time continuum almost as unobtrusively as a cat-burglar creeping over a windowsill.

-Fnord
(From the introduction to the Principia Discordia)
http://www.principiadiscordia.com/book/1.php