Whose life is it anyway?

Happy Interdependence Day!

For a New Beginning

In out-of-the-way places of the heart,
Where your thoughts never think to wander,
This beginning has been quietly forming,
Waiting until you were ready to emerge.

For a long time it has watched your desire,
Feeling the emptiness growing inside you,
Noticing how you willed yourself on,
Still unable to leave what you had outgrown.

It watched you play with the seduction of safety
And the gray promises that sameness whispered,
Heard the waves of turmoil rise and relent,
Wondered would you always live like this.

Then the delight, when your courage kindled,
And out you stepped onto new ground,
Your eyes young again with energy and dream,
A path of plenitude opening before you.

Though your destination is not yet clear
You can trust the promise of this opening;
Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning
That is at one with your life’s desire.

Awaken your spirit to adventure;
Hold nothing back, learn to find ease in risk;
Soon you will be home in a new rhythm,
For your soul senses the world that awaits you.

John O’Donohue
To Bless the Space Between Us

The Quiet Army

Those of you who stay in your homes
Who resist the temptation to keep the wheels spinning
Who go to a quite place deep inside of you
Where you find peace in the stillness

Those of you who abide in the quiet
Who sit and rest
And let the world keep going
Without clinging, controlling or over consuming

You are part of the quiet army

The revolution that you are a part of is one of consciousness
There are no battlefields ripe with glory
No tanks, no bullets, no artillery
Just you

Sitting in that quiet space where you connect to source
As you watch the world fall away

You are part of the awakening revolution
And nothing unlike love, connection and peace
Can survive your authentic gaze

Your task in the quiet army
is to turn towards the light that lives inside of you
To listen to that still small voice that is whispering to you in the silence
And to abide by what you hear

The light will guide you to the truth of who you are
To the gifts you are to share
And to the support that you are to call forth

Facing in and then facing out
Breathing in and breathing out
Dancing in and dancing out

You are part of the quiet army
Breathing life into a new world
Guided from the depths
Of our collective creative spark

Todd Phillips

Although this article is a few years old, a friend posted it this week and I was intrigued, as I think it points to a huge problem of our time and a slippery slope that can occur with poor coaching. Many people are so stressed about economics, politics, social justice, the environment, and so many other effects of neoliberal capitalism that self-care can become imperative and the primary focus of coaching, often to the detriment of real change that could shift the causes rather than the symptoms of the many injustices of our times. This is a clear example of privilege, and the consciousness that is arising around privilege is allowing us to see the dynamic of McMindfullness that the author is exposing.

I think that working in the Spiritual domain (and I would count most ego-reduction type therapies like mindfulness as working in the Spiritual domain) requires that we also develop a healthy ego. A healthy ego is one that is in touch with individual feelings and needs, can express them in healthy ways, can communicate and hold boundaries, and can balance the needs that arise in self, other and society in a grounded way. If we do Spiritual work without doing healthy ego work, we risk Spiritual bypass, where we are simply using Spiritual principles and practices, which, although they might be true and powerful, are being used to bypass our humanity at the expense of our connection to our very Soul.

At the same time when I am stressed it is easy for me to fall into the drama triangle, where I feel powerless and slide into victim consciousness, look for someone or something to blame (villain) and then go to righteousness (hero) where I can even justify my own violent behavior “because it is right and just”. I know that when I’m stuck in this dynamic then I do not do my best thinking because I am not connected to my own resourcefulness or possibility, and mindfulness practice can support me to get unstuck and ground into my core being. From that place I can act with more clarity, connecting to my values rather than to the drama de jour, and take a stand for what resonates with me.

This is such a delicate balancing act in my coaching practice. I often tell people that I am not a “fantasy coach”. I know that there are a lot of Pollyanna coaches out there who preach positivity in the face of people’s pain. Telling someone “anything is possible” can be a form of cruelty, as it’s easy to blame ourselves for circumstances that may have nothing to do with our conscious intent. I think that good coaching involves clarifying intent and shining a light into blind spots with care, humility and connection. I have longer sessions than most coaches because the first part of many sessions involves connecting the client to their feelings and needs (rather than their story) and then supporting them to take action from a place of empowerment rather than from a place of compulsion, reaction, or old habits and ways of being that are not in line with their current intent.

We can use strategies like mindfulness to disengage from our survival mechanism and connect to our resilience and resourcefulness, but then what? If we just use these strategies to soothe ourselves then we are actually just playing out an aspect of hero (looking for temporary rescue in order to avoid feelings) and we are keeping the entire drama triangle dynamic going. But when we use our resilience and resourcefulness in the service of our values, then we empower ourselves to be agents of change in a world we care so much about. Shifting from protective and reactive living to aligning with our values and practicing powerful choices is so much more satisfying and life affirming!

How mindfulness privatised a social problem In December 2008, while forcibly evicting tenants from a concrete high-rise in south London, Southwark Council pulled off a remarkable feat of complacency. Though residents didn’t know it at the time, every flat in the development that replaced the Heygate Estate would be sold to foreign investors...

I appreciate studies that prove what many of us already know. We are happiest when we are in a state of flow! When our minds and hearts are aligned and present in what we are doing we are more likely to experience happiness.

My favorite flow state activity is dancing. When I fall into states of play, presence, spontaneity, and movement, it's like hitting the reset button. I drop the chatter and arrive back to me. What do you do to get into flow states?

"We found that people are substantially less happy when their minds are wandering than when they’re not, which is unfortunate considering we do it so often. Moreover, the size of this effect is large — how often a person’s mind wanders, and what they think about when it does, is far more predictive of happiness than how much money they make, for example."

Your Life Circumstances May Have a Lot Less To Do With Your Happiness When are we happiest?

In order to take effective action towards our goals and dreams we need to be able to view our assessments with as much clarity as possible. This is a great summary of a number of common human blind spots, places where we as a species get stuck in perceptions that limit our ability to correctly assess our possibilities.

Which of these do you think might be limiting you?

Here are 24 cognitive biases that are warping your perception of reality Everyone is entitled to their own point of view, but here's why yours is probably wrong.

As I’ve been preparing for my Mexican Adventure many of my friends have asked about what’s happening with Momentum, the Artist Immersion Program that I co-facilitate with Daniel Mollner. Well… it’s evolving! Momentum is on a one-year sabbatical while Daniel and I are harvesting, visioning, and planning a program that will go even deeper and take participants farther than ever! Here is an update that we’re sending out to our followers that I thought you might be interested in.

Momentum Update!
After four years of devotion to creativity, community, growth, and play… Momentum Artists Immersion Program is evolving!

Momentum 2.0 begins in September of 2019. We have gained so much wisdom and insight from working with nearly 40 artists since 2014. We are taking that and developing a brand new approach to helping people achieve their creative dreams and discover the true power of their creative nature.

As we have experienced it so far, ultimately this work is about how the exploration of our innate creativity enhances the quality of our being on this human journey together.

In this updated and upgraded new version of Momentum you can also expect more of what made the original so potent; support, encouragement, accountability, focus, visioning, and group work as well as individual one-on-one mentoring.

Stay tuned for more info and a brand new website after the first of the year, revamped and revisioned to go deeper and take you farther!

Sincerely,
Todd and Daniel

Whose life is it anyway? Coaching, mentoring and facilitatiion Transformational Life and Business Coaching by Todd Phillips. Coaching, mentoring and facilitating your greatness! Celebrating12 years of service in Santa Cruz

For the last 17 years I have been working with people who are in the midst of a transition and who are wanting to transform that stuckness into focus, clarity, and momentum. Change is a natural part of life. Are you willing to uncover and let go of ineffective, past-based strategies, bring your best self forward, and live with more joy, possibility, balance and ease?

Release old patterns that hold you back
Get motivated and turn your dreams into actions
Strengthen your confidence in yourself
Focus your attention on your hearts desires
Access more joy, clarity, satisfaction and ease
Dream big, laugh more, love life!

By freeing up energy to move forward, your life will be simpler, less stressful, and more meaningful, and you will move more effortlessly towards your dreams, desires and goals. As a coach I listen for your deepest intent, which often lays hidden beneath conversations of frustration, limitation, or unhealed past wounds. I support you to generate clarity, and to put your energy and attention into stepping more fully into your life. This frees up lots of energy for creative ideas, innovative actions, and allows you to unfold more easily and powerfully into what’s next for you.

www.whoselifeisitanyway.com

www.whoselifeisitanyway.co