Done Waiting: A Bold Woman’s Guide to a Sperm Bank Baby

Done Waiting Truth Bomb #1 ⚡

They told me I’d miss the benefits of marriage.

At least I kept my kids full time.

Women buying supplements to fix their life.

Me: removing the thing causing the problem.

Christine Your underwear should not stink v2 Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube.

This photo is over 20 years old.

Most people would look at it and think:
“Wow. She looks beautiful. Confident. Thriving.”

But the truth?

I was dying inside.

At the time this photo was taken, I was at war with myself.
My family system was broken, and I was navigating young adulthood without solid friends, a caring family, or mentors.

Yet there I was.

Smiling.

Social media often teaches us to equate attractiveness with thriving.
Beautiful photos must mean beautiful lives.

But photos capture a moment.
They don’t capture the truth.

That smile you see?
It was covering heartbreak.

Two decades later I can look back at that young woman with compassion.

She was carrying more than anyone knew.

And she survived.

✨ Sometimes the strongest people are the ones smiling in the photos where they were barely holding themselves together.

Last June I wore a dress to Summer’s dance competition and felt insecure about my reflection. My shape was gone. Too many bones showing. I could see how prolonged stress had taken a toll.

I made a decision — not just to get through it, but to consciously show up for myself even while the pressure remained.

I started eating three meals a day again and actually sitting down at a table to eat.
I created space for transition.
I took breaks from people, places, and things that were draining me.

It was never about the number on the scale.

What bothered me most was realizing I had no surplus left — no cushion, no buffer, no reserves. And it showed.

Looking at these photos now reminds me of something important:

We may not always be able to leave a situation immediately…

but we can change how we orient ourselves within it.

Recovery is a choice.
Never give up on yourself.

We will never feel at home with others until we are at home with ourselves.

Sometimes that means moving forward without the blessing of others.

Being a minority — especially as a Single Mom by Choice — has a feeling to it.

Many women assume that feeling means something is wrong.

It doesn’t.

Learning that the feeling can exist without needing to be fixed is peace.That’s freedom.

DW Law 9: Thou Shalt Not Abandon Thyself

Today after dance, Summer got in the car and sat quietly.

Then she said, “I don’t belong here.”

For a second I thought she meant my car. 🤣
But no.

She was talking about dance.

The cliques.
The popular girls.
Who gets attention.
Who stands together.

She’s 10 and already noticing group dynamics.

And I realized this wasn’t really about belonging.

It was about the temptation to abandon yourself just to fit in.

I told her:

Groups are always changing.
One day you’re in.
One day you’re out.

But who you are? That stays.

When we got home, I picked flowers from outside, wrote her a note, gave her a long hug and said, “You belong here. With us.”

Because this is what I want her to understand early:

You never trade your identity for access.
You never shrink to be chosen.
You never abandon yourself to feel included.

Belonging starts at home.
Confidence starts within.

And when you know who you are, you can stand anywhere — front row or back.

✨ DW Law: Thou Shalt Not Doubt Thine Own Power. ✨

There was no partner in that room.

No one to steady me.

No one to carry it.

Just me.

IV in my arm.
Allowing the pain.
Clear. Focused. Certain.

People assume power looks loud.

It doesn’t.

Sometimes it looks like choosing the hard thing — alone — and never questioning whether you can handle it.

I did not doubt myself.

Not then.
Not now.

And I never will again.

Not grieving the thing.
Grieving the version of me that existed inside it.

I heard this audio and it so poignantly describes what I feel myself and many others are going through currently. The collapse of outdated belief systems. The weird, quiet and sad in between of having outgrown previous beliefs, but being unsure of what the next steps look like. So much of my life has been defined by where I am with horses. Still to this day, a huge portion of my career as an equestrian has been comprised of being competitive and chasing competitive goals. And, honestly, in some ways I miss that aspect of life. It was such a crucial part of my identity for so many years that even after outgrowing it, there is a grieving process. There is a deep sadness. Witnessing the shifts happening in the Horse world are profoundly sad. Seeing the pushback towards more ethical perspectives in the horse world is tragic. But, perhaps more so tragic, is seeing the collapse of people’s identities and the sadness and denial that can come with that. It is no easy moment to move through. It is incredibly sad. There is so much grief associated with it. And I think that grief needs to be noticed and commented on. Grieving the identity of who we were when we believe certain things is valid. Sitting in that discomfort and identifying it is important. There is so many aspects of horsemanship and the simplicity of what I grew up believing that I am still grieving even years later. so to those who are going through something similar: just know you are not alone.