12/19/2024
A Life With Lupus
In the soft crepuscule of dawn,
I awake to the whispering song of another day,
A single sunbeam casts long shadows, illuminating the contours of my existence.
I, a vessel of life, buoyed by the endless tide of endurance, veiled by the cloak of Lupus.
This capricious dance with my own physiology, an intimate dialogue with mortality.
I step from the edge of dreams into the bright and breathless morning.
My body marked by the unseen enemy, the fire within, the storm of my own making.
In each swell and ebb of the current, a crescendo of inflammation flares.
A symphony of symptoms, the lupine specter howls, my reality, my constant companion.
The serpentine fatigue winds its way, a deceptive foe that burrows deep,
A tide that pulls me under, shackles of heavy lead,
against which I must compete.
Joint pain hums like discordant strings, a torturous melody, beneath my skin,
Yet in their singing,
I find a strength I did not know I had within.
Malar rash blooms, a crimson rose across my visage, tender and inflamed,
A mark of battle, a badge of honor, a sign that I, the fighter, remain.
Photosensitivity, a vampire’s curse, sunlight stings like venom's kiss,
Yet in the darkness, I've found comfort,
the moon's soft glow a tranquil bliss.
Fever dreams dance their delirious waltz, an unhinged, ephemeral flame,
Unseen warriors clash within, in this war that bears my name.
The spectral fog of cognition lost, thoughts tangled, words astray,
Yet through the murk, I've learned to navigate, to find new meanings in the fray.
Yet, in this maelstrom of sensation, a transformation takes its hold,
A phoenix rising from the ashes,
a tale of resilience to be told.
For with each fresh dawn, gratitude thrums, a pulse of joy beneath the pain,
An incandescent beacon, kindled by love, a lighthouse in the rain.
A complicated quilt of existence, each thread spun from lessons learned,
Pain into power, loss into love,
fear into courage, thus returned.
Mindfulness arises, a soothing balm, a still point in the storm,
In the quiet moments, amidst the chaos, a sense of self reborn.
From the crucible of suffering, empathy's gem is forged,
pure and bright,
Compassion's flame kindled by shared struggle,
illuminating the darkest night.
Within my tribe, my lupus kin, solidarity forms an unbreakable chain,
A constellation of resilience, lighting our path through storm and rain.
Bound by threads of understanding, online friendships offer solace,
Across digital oceans, support flows, love's invisible and invincible compass.
A legion of warriors, each bearing their own burden, yet standing tall,
Our united spirits, echoing the anthem of survival, we will not fall.
My family, my friends, my anchors in the whirlwind, the rock upon which I lean,
Their love, a fortress against the onslaught, a safe harbor in the unseen.
Through their strength, I find my own, in their light, my path is clear,
Each testament of love,
a testament to life,
a song of triumph over fear.
Through this dance with Lupus, my existence reshaped, my spirit refined,
Each sunrise a gift, each breath a victory, in the infinite expanse of time.
For in each challenge, there is potential, a chance for love and growth,
And in the face of adversity, I choose to rise, to live, to hope.
©️Jenn Schoch, 2024
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