Relationship RX

Personality disorders are treatable.

In this podcast with my mentor and founder of Men Alive and best selling author, Jed Diamond, I discuss why I wrote this book to challenge one of the most damaging myths in mental health.

You can explain everything. You can’t change anything.

You know exactly what’s happening in your relationship.

You can explain your patterns. Their patterns. Why you keep ending up here.

You’ve read the books. You’ve done the thinking.

And nothing has changed.

Here’s why.

Insight isn’t change. It’s what comes before the work.

Smart people in particular have a way of analyzing their way around the actual work.

You map the dynamic. You name the defense. You explain it to your partner.

And the loop keeps running.

Because thinking is what’s keeping you stuck.

Every time you analyze it, you’re working the same loop you’re trying to escape.

The shift you’re waiting for isn’t another piece of information.

It’s a different kind of work.

Start with a Relationship Direction Session. Link in bio.

psychodynamic

Intimacy doesn’t disappear. It just gets harder to find. Not because the love is gone.

Because familiarity moved in and intimacy quietly stepped back. And those two things feel almost identical from the inside.

Early on, you were still revealing yourselves to each other. Asking questions you didn’t know the answers to. Sharing things that felt risky to say. At some point that stopped. Not out of apathy. Because you assumed you already knew each other. That assumption is where the distance starts.

Here’s what actually rebuilds it. Ask one question tonight you don’t already know the answer to. Not about logistics. About what’s actually going on for them. And share something you haven’t said out loud yet. Something small, something real, something slightly uncomfortable.

Intimacy isn’t rebuilt in one big conversation. It’s rebuilt in small moments of actual contact.

If you want to go deeper, link in my bio.

In this PIX11 clip, I talk with the anchors about one of the biggest mistakes people make under stress: focusing so intensely on the immediate problem that they miss the fix.

Sometimes stepping back and becoming curious about expressing the stress changes far more than trying to control, or ignore, one stressful moment after another.

And yes, we ended up laughing at the end, which probably helped all our stress levels too!

relationshiprx stressmanagement psychiatrist

Most people try to solve stress by chasing the loudest problem in front of them.

But chronic stress usually isn’t coming from one moment. It’s coming from a pattern you’ve stopped noticing because you’re living inside it.

Sometimes the real shift happens when you step back far enough to become curious about the structure underneath the stress: the routines, relationships, expectations, and emotional patterns quietly keeping it alive.

That’s where real change starts.

If you live with someone who apologizes quickly and changes nothing, or if you are the one doing it, this is not a small habit. It is a pattern, and it has a name.

A real apology takes responsibility for impact. A reflexive apology takes responsibility for the discomfort in the room. They sound similar in the moment. They feel completely different over time.

Work apologies protect the apologizer. They do not repair the relationship.

If this landed, the link is in my bio is your next step.

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There is something surreal about holding the physical copy of a book that lived in your head, office, notes app, and conversations for years.

And honestly?
Getting to open the first box with people who helped carry the process made it even better.

This book was built from decades of watching the same painful relationship patterns repeat themselves in otherwise thoughtful, successful people -and helping them finally understand why.

I Need You, Now Go Away
Coming June 9.

Preorder link in bio.

You’re not required to stay where you’re mistreated, even if it’s family.

Guilt isn’t loyalty. It’s a trap that keeps unhealthy patterns alive.

Toxic relationships don’t stay contained, they bleed into everything.

Try to repair, sure. But if nothing changes, believe that.

Shared DNA isn’t a lifetime contract.

What would choosing yourself actually look like right now?