Trauma and the Voice - Emily Koriath

Always aiming for useful but not too teacher-y, almost like I was explaining it to you at your favorite bar or coffee place.

The swearing is just a charming bonus. 😚

Ma bebe and I are at The Circus today! I can't wait to figure out what I feel about it. Stay tuned..

Tad ponders Ellis Island and immigration and freedom and international relations.

And maybe also snacks.

Also New York was stupid hot today.

A: always
B: be
N: nerding

Pumped about reading this and, like always, I promise to tell you everything I learn.

💕💥

Love you.

Disclaimer: of course I am not actually a therapist but can you guess which one is meeeee? It is slightly harder than you may think but when you get it you will get it! 💕

Umm... What a day!

This first slide is very niche.
For a little while I tried running a separate account and to be honest, I just don't know that I have it in me to run two accounts. It was sort of a way to do workout accountability, and sort of a way to respect the fact that some people who follow me for trauma info absolutely do not want to hear about workout stuff. And I love you and I see you. And I don't know the answer yet. But for me, the voyage of learning how to move my body in a way that does not involve self loathing has been very healing and still includes a lot of growing and I think if we can overlook the fact that it's about exercise and bodies which have been so horrendously weaponized against us, I love talking about what I'm learning in a metaphorical way when I think it can be beneficial.

Tl;Dr sweet gains on the bike at the end of my off season triathlon strength building program.

Also I went to the dentist for the first time in three years!
1. My teeth are great!
2. There's some serious overcrowding which no one has ever discussed with me and should we be talking about expanding my palate and trying to get more space in my airway what the actual f**k I can't even begin to process these questions as someone who has been obsessing over mouth and throat space ON A PROFESSIONAL LEVEL for MULTIPLE DECADES YOU GUYS

so then after church rehearsal I took myself out for Mexican food because Tad was going to be out late and I simply could not be trusted to be home alone with my thoughts.

LOVE YOU.

FRONDS!

(see what I did there?!?!)

Look how much I love you!

The summer sale is here!

Lesson bundles and even the new ten-session trauma healing packages are TWENTY FIVE PERCENT OFF for summer time! 💥

Baby me is here with some learning stories for you.

So from where the photos leave off, we fast forward 30 years through diagnosis and questions and unmasking and questions and here we are today when I learned:

You hate when plans change, but that doesn't mean that you should never have a plan ever, and if you plan your plan far enough in advance, you can plan for a day when the plan goes to s**t, and in the privacy of your home, you can go oh s**t, and then replan the plan WHICH IS FINE which also no one ever told you. I thought a plan was written in stone like the ten commandments. Y'know, I do the literal thinking.

And then you learn that all you really needed was to figure out this little piece of your brain. And then you're actually quite good at making plans in your own little way. Turns out that, even before this, you were making plans in a way that worked for you, but you could have been doing it a lot better if you had a little bit more information about making plans that were flexible, and a little bit more information about how not all brains do everything in the exact same way. 🌠

So rather than hating yourself and your relationship to plans, you figure out that you can become a plan boss and plan some fall apart time and replanning time into all of your plans and that everything's going to be okay.

This feels a little bit like freedom.

Maybe this could help you too?

I feel like I have two modes of being:
Super accomplished high achiever
And
Middle schooler home alone with NO PARENTS

I used to think that this meant that I was really a giant child and the rest of my life was a huge lie and I was an enormous fraud.

Two years ago, in addition to my ADHD diagnosis, I figured out that I am also autistic. And I learned about masking. And I learned that the longer you mask and the better you get at it, the more your mental health deteriorates.

Hmm.

So my diagnosis is still very new and I'm still working out exactly what it means for me, and all the ways it has been present my entire life even though I didn't realize that my brain was working differently than other people's.

This week I accidentally forgot I'm autistic, or tried to pretend I'm not, or somehow just ended up taking on way way too much in a way I haven't in a while. And I've spent three days (so far) recovering from overdoing it.

Tonight that included this DIY dessert:
Melt peanut butter and chocolate chips in the microwave
Throw in a handful of GOLDEN GRAHAMS which are never in the house but your husband just bought some (?????)
Let it set in the fridge for a little while but not so it gets all hard

Put it back in the fridge for later when you get scared your teeth might fall out

Enjoy basketball with Velcro dog snoozing on floor

Go to bed early

Stop being mad at yourself for learning things.

If you're alive, it's not too late.
Love you.

Hizees!
It's recital week.
Here's an innocent seeming post about vocal health where I accidentally start picking apart the disempowering nature of the singing business. Whoopsies. I hate when I do that!

Just kidding, no I don't.

But like many structures, we don't see them at first because it's just sort of the way things are. People in power tell us what to do and in many instances, what to wear and even what to think. And if you pause with that for a minute, how does that feel to you?

AND ALSO we need to be very honest about the fact that just flipping a switch on that is not easy. You can't just go from Madame de Croissant telling you what to wear and what to think to being a fully formed, independent, revolutionary artist. Probably even the idea of doing that is horrifying. It's too far to even consider. And I'm not asking you for that.

I'm asking you how it feels to give away your vocal identity.

And if you don't like how that feels, I just want to let you know, very truthfully, that there is another choice. And that I have led many clients through a process of disentangling their own identity from the teachings of Madame de Croissant or [insert name of teacher]. This doesn't even mean that your teacher was mean to you! Or was a bad person! It was just the system that taught us. And you have the ability to make your own choices now.

Boop on over to my website and book your free consultation call. We'll take some deep breaths and talk about what this can be like.

Spaghetti pot optional.

Okayloveyoubye!