02/10/2026
february is month, and it’s something that deserves more attention.
it’s not a fun topic to talk about, and something I still feel shame and fear judgement about. however, eating disorders have affected me for most of my life, cost me a lot, and yet the power they hold can feel insurmountable.
eating disorders are serious mental illnesses that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. in athletes, resulting energy deficits (LEA and RED-S) can have outsized consequences. the body isn’t infallible, eventually, it will break, though it can also heal.
i hope sharing some of my story can help you answer “is it worth it” when thoughts of restriction, weight loss, body comparisons, exercising more, or eating “clean” arise. (you are not alone in having these thoughts; know that they say nothing about you, but, unfortunately, reflect society at large.)
*collegiate running did not cause my eating disorder, nor do I fault my coaches. i was stubborn and too deep in the illness to listen to advice, reduce training, and accept help.
